Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people’s lives. Automobiles, bicycles, airplanes.
Sample Response
The invention of the automobile is undoubtedly one of the humankind's greatest inventions. It had a great impact on people's lives. For several reasons that will be mentioned bellow, I think that the invention of the automobile dramatically changed the way people lived before.
First of all, automobile allowed people to move faster from one place to another. This in one's turn dramatically increased people's life pace. The distance was no longer of that importance. It was a new means of communication. Second of all, nowadays it is rather difficult to imagine life without a car. People can not do virtually anything without a car. Just imagine for a moment that one does not have a car. One needs to go an office, get a haircut, buy some food, watch a movie, meet one's friend, etc. To get all these done he uses a car to move fast from one place to another.
In addition, people can travel using their own vehicle. It is great because one can travel independently, without any train schedules. Finally, I think that the invention of the automobile was inescapable. People could not continue using trains and horses to meet their life requirements. Moreover, just imagine for a moment how many horses people would need nowadays. I think we would talk about horse overpopulation as well as human overpopulation.
Unfortunately, the invention of the automobile has some negative aspects. The most obvious aspect of this is the road accident. Many people every day suffer from different injuries. Also, with the invention of the automobile humankind came across with a problem of air pollution. A huge amount of cars every day throws out many poisonous matters in the air. I believe that soon we all will be able to exchange our cars for those, which use sun energy instead of fuel.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary article Original: the humankind's Suggested revision: humankind’s Why it matters: Humankind is used without the definite article in this possessive construction.
- 2. Correct spelling Original: bellow Suggested revision: below Why it matters: Below is the correct spelling of the adverb meaning later in the text.
- 3. Use concise phrasing Original: the way people lived before Suggested revision: people’s way of life Why it matters: This phrase expresses the same idea more concisely and naturally.
- 4. Add definite article Original: automobile allowed Suggested revision: the automobile allowed Why it matters: The singular countable noun requires an article when referring to the invention generally.
- 5. Correct transition phrase Original: This in one's turn Suggested revision: This, in turn, Why it matters: In turn is the correct linking phrase, set off by commas here.
- 6. Fix awkward collocation Original: people's life pace Suggested revision: the pace of people’s lives Why it matters: The pace of people’s lives is the natural expression for the speed of daily life.
- 7. Use natural emphasis Original: of that importance Suggested revision: so important Why it matters: So important is the idiomatic complement after was no longer.
- 8. Use concise transition Original: Second of all Suggested revision: Second Why it matters: Second is the standard concise transition for the next point.
- 9. Join cannot Original: can not Suggested revision: cannot Why it matters: Cannot is normally written as one word in this construction.
- 10. Add destination preposition Original: go an office Suggested revision: go to an office Why it matters: The verb go requires to before a destination.
- 11. Use natural determiner Original: meet one's friend Suggested revision: meet a friend Why it matters: A friend is the natural general reference in this list of activities.
- 12. Clarify reference Original: To get all these done Suggested revision: To do all these things Why it matters: This wording refers more clearly to the preceding list of activities.
Suggested Rewrites
- the humankind's humankind’s
- bellow below
- the way people lived before people’s way of life
- automobile allowed the automobile allowed
- This in one's turn This, in turn,
- people's life pace the pace of people’s lives
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response clearly selects the automobile and explains several ways it has changed daily life, particularly through speed, convenience, and independent travel. Its ideas are logically sequenced, but some are repetitive or exaggerated, and frequent awkward collocations and grammatical slips limit precision. Prioritise the strongest impacts, support them with more specific explanation, and edit article, agreement, and word-choice errors throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response addresses the task with a clear choice and several relevant effects, though some explanations are repetitive, broad, or only partly developed.
Develop two or three major changes with specific causal explanation instead of adding loosely related or exaggerated points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and sequencing create clear overall progression, but some transitions are mechanical and several sentences move abruptly between claims.
Group each paragraph around one distinct impact and use logical links that show cause, contrast, or consequence more precisely.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate range for discussing transport and social change, but frequent spelling and collocational errors reduce naturalness and precision.
Correct forms such as “below” and use natural phrases such as “pace of life,” “road accidents,” and “solar energy.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex forms, but recurring errors with articles, prepositions, agreement, and sentence construction remain noticeable.
Proofread noun phrases and verb patterns, especially “the automobile allowed,” “go to an office,” and “cars emit pollutants.”