Write Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? What is your view? Explain your position.

Same questionCompare 5 different answers (Band 5.5–7)

Sample Response

1

Traditionally, menTraditionally men and women work in different fields. Though they have always worked together to build a better world, a subtle difference has always been there in the types of employment they have done. The modern world has changed this perspective to a great extent despite some people’s old-fashioned views that a woman should look after the family and a man should be the bread winner. In my view, gender equality is far more important than considering which sectors are more suitable for a particular gender and which are not. Some people might present traditional arguments regarding the suitability of some posts for females and others for malessome others for male, but the modern era teaches us otherwise. In fact, greater freedom of choice in terms of employment can accelerate the development of a nation than the old way of distributed work pattern. For instance, it is believed by many that a female is more suitable for a profession that requires tenderness and carecaring while men are more adept at performingadept in doing tasks thatthose demand more physical strength. Thus, according to their opinion, more women should become nurses or teachers than males, whilemales while logging, mining, and construction workworks should be solely done by males. However, making occupations more open to both genders hashave distinctive advantages and in certain cases, a mixed-gender work environmentin certain cases, mixed-gender work environment outperforms the single-sex workplace. For instance, having an all-female hospital is quite challenging and not a pragmatic idea at all. Men and women can bring diverse perspectives and approaches to a job and a school with both male and female teachers has better teaching environment than a single-sex-teacher one. It is quite logical that a female patient would feel more comfortable consultingcomfortable to consult with a female doctor while a female police officera female police would better understand domestic violencethe domestic violence and bring superior strategies for dealing with the problems. Though the traditional viewtraditional view does not support women becomingsupport women to become doctors or police, we can definitely understand their needs. To conclude, innovation and advantages the gender equality in job sectors can bring is far-reaching and have greater benefits for the society. The time has come for us to break the traditional and outdated belief of gender-suitable-profession.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The response maintains a clear position against gender-based exclusion and supports it with several relevant workplace examples and comparisons. Its principal weakness is presentation: all ideas appear in one block, and recurring agreement, article, and collocation errors reduce precision despite generally clear meaning. Prioritize organizing the argument into distinct paragraphs, then revise sentence-level grammar so the strong content is delivered with greater control.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

7.0
Scoring rule

A clear position is sustained and supported with relevant explanations and examples about mixed-gender workplaces and occupational choice.

Next step

Deepen the argument by explaining more explicitly why individual suitability should outweigh generalizations about gender in hiring decisions.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

Ideas follow a logical argumentative sequence with appropriate signposting, but the complete absence of paragraph breaks weakens organization and readability.

Next step

Separate the introduction, traditional counterargument, main rebuttal, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs with clear central ideas.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

The response uses a sufficiently flexible range for discussing equality and employment, though several collocations and word forms are awkward.

Next step

Refine phrases concerning work patterns, workplace composition, and professional roles so that vocabulary is consistently natural and precise.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5
Scoring rule

A range of complex structures communicates the argument clearly, but recurring agreement, article, comparison, and relative-clause errors remain noticeable.

Next step

Check agreement in every clause and revise comparative and relative structures before adding further sentence complexity.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Write Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? What is your view? Explain your position.

Your response

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