English is now widely used as the main language of education, especially in the education system of some non-native English speaking countries. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
English is worldly treated as the major educational language across native and non-native English speaking countries. Personally, I think it is a positive development from the perspective of education equality and global academic development.
On the hand, English is potential to promote the education equality because it is the most influential and the top-ranking used language in the global world. Due to its international effect, it has the able to break the educational boundaries between regions or countries so that each individual has the same property to acquire diverse knowledge. Supposed there is not a shared language system, each country merely applies their own language for education. Chinese people does not have the chance to get the idea of what is chemistry as European citizens have. That is to say, English can enhance the possibility of every citizen to delve into the same global education.
On the other hand, the shared language system, English, has the property to give impetus to the global academic development. As illustrated in the previous paragraph, English, one of the most widespread language system in the present world, can advance the academic co-communication between native and non-native English speaking country. As we can see, to date, there is a multiple of academic meetings using English as the official language. Hence, through these meetings, plenary speech, and workshops, academic knowledge is secretly improving.
Admittedly, English may threaten the local language system, but it simultaneously creates more opportunities to represent the non-English speaking countries’ culture to the world, which ultimately is a good channel to push the global cultural development. Taking China as a good example, for instance, most Chinese study English as their second language and strive to tell Chinese stories to the world people through English. They get numerous achievements such as the spreading of Chinese traditional holidays culture in European countries communities. In a nutshell, English, as a global language system, can support the international culture spreading.
To summarize, English is a international language system and it is a positive trends to treat is as a main educational language because it can support the educational equality, academic development, and cultural spreading.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. 词汇使用不当 Original: worldly Suggested revision: widely Why it matters: “worldly”意为“世俗的”或“老练的”,此处应使用“widely”表示“广泛地”。
- 2. 过渡短语错误 Original: On the hand Suggested revision: On the one hand Why it matters: 与后文的“On the other hand”相对应,此处应使用完整的固定搭配“On the one hand”。
- 3. 形容词搭配错误 Original: is potential to Suggested revision: has the potential to Why it matters: “potential”作形容词时通常不与“is potential to do”搭配,应使用名词短语“has the potential to”。
- 4. 表达不够自然 Original: the top-ranking used language Suggested revision: the most widely used language Why it matters: “top-ranking used”不符合英语习惯,建议改为“most widely used”。
- 5. 词性使用错误 Original: the able Suggested revision: the ability Why it matters: 冠词“the”后面应接名词“ability”,而不是形容词“able”。
- 6. 词义不贴切 Original: same property Suggested revision: same opportunity Why it matters: “property”意为“财产”或“属性”,此处表示“机会”应使用“opportunity”。
- 7. 假设句式不规范 Original: Supposed there is not Suggested revision: Supposing there were no Why it matters: 表示虚拟假设时,使用“Supposing there were”或“If there were”更为标准。
- 8. 主谓一致错误 Original: Chinese people does not Suggested revision: Chinese people would not Why it matters: “people”是复数名词,且在虚拟语气假设中应使用过去式助动词“would not”。
- 9. 词义使用不当 Original: the property Suggested revision: the power Why it matters: 此处“property”使用不当,建议改为“power”或“capacity”表示“能力”或“力量”。
- 10. 缺失单数冠词 Original: widespread language system Suggested revision: widespread language systems Why it matters: “one of the”后面应该接可数名词的复数形式。
- 11. 名词单复数错误 Original: country Suggested revision: countries Why it matters: 此处指代多国,且与前面的“native”并列,应使用复数形式“countries”。
- 12. 量词搭配错误 Original: a multiple of Suggested revision: a multitude of Why it matters: 表示“许多”应使用“a multitude of”或“multiple”,而“a multiple of”通常用于数学中的倍数。
Suggested Rewrites
- worldly widely
- On the hand On the one hand
- is potential to has the potential to
- the top-ranking used language the most widely used language
- the able the ability
- same property same opportunity
Why this response received Band 6.0
文章立场明确,从教育公平、学术发展和文化传播三个维度论证了英语作为主要教学语言的积极影响,结构完整。然而,部分论证逻辑(如没有英语中国人就不知道化学)显得过于极端,且文章中存在较多词汇搭配不当和语法细节错误。未来提升的重点应放在增强论证的合理性以及提高语言表达的准确性上。
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
任务回应
文章对“积极发展”的立场非常明确,并从多个角度进行了论证,但部分支持性论据(如关于化学知识传播的假设)缺乏说服力且过于绝对。
在撰写支持性例子时,应避免使用过于极端或不符合常理的假设,选择更具说服力和客观性的事实论据。
连贯与衔接
文章结构清晰,使用了“On the hand / On the other hand”等连接词,但部分段落内部的逻辑衔接和过渡词使用不够准确(如“On the hand”漏掉了“one”)。
请确保常用过渡短语的拼写准确,并尝试使用更多样化的指代词和逻辑连接词来提高段落内部的连贯性。
词汇资源
词汇量足以覆盖话题讨论,但存在较多词性误用和不地道的搭配,例如“has the able to”、“same property”和“worldly treated”。
建议在日常积累中多关注词汇的固定搭配和词性变化,避免将中文直译为英文表达。
语法多样性与准确性
虽然文章尝试使用复杂句式,但语法错误频繁出现,包括主谓一致错误(如“Chinese people does not”)、冠词缺失以及句子结构混乱,这在一定程度上影响了阅读流畅度。
重点复习基础语法,特别是第三人称单数、名词单复数以及常用句型的结构,并在写完后留出时间进行纠错检查。