When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Sample Response
When we meet someone for the first time, we often decide quickly if we like them or not. Some people think this is helpful, while others think it is not. In my opinion, this can be both good and bad, but it is more negative.
On the one hand, making a quick judgement can save time. For example, if a person is friendly and polite, we may feel comfortable talking to them. In some situations, such as a job interview or meeting a new classmate, a good first impression can help people communicate more easily. Also, our experience sometimes helps us notice if a person may be dishonest or dangerous.
On the other hand, first impressions are not always correct. People may feel nervous when meeting someone for the first time, so they may look unfriendly or quiet. However, after spending more time together, we may find that they are kind and helpful. If we judge people too quickly, we may lose the chance to make good friends or work well with others.
In conclusion, although first impressions can be useful in some situations, I believe they are often not accurate. We should spend more time getting to know people before deciding what kind of person they are.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Enhance vocabulary Original: decide quickly Suggested revision: form rapid assessments Why it matters: Using 'form rapid assessments' instead of 'decide quickly' elevates the lexical resource score by using more academic phrasing.
- 2. Spelling variation Original: judgement Suggested revision: judgment Why it matters: While 'judgement' is acceptable in British English, 'judgment' is more common globally. Consistency in spelling style is recommended.
- 3. Use precise adjectives Original: friendly and polite Suggested revision: approachable and courteous Why it matters: Replacing basic adjectives with more advanced synonyms improves the lexical range.
- 4. Academic transition Original: Also, Suggested revision: Furthermore, Why it matters: 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' is more appropriate for an academic essay than the conversational 'Also'.
- 5. Upgrade vocabulary Original: kind and helpful Suggested revision: warm and cooperative Why it matters: Using 'warm and cooperative' provides a more sophisticated description of positive traits.
- 6. Increase complexity Original: Some people think this is helpful, while others think it is not. Suggested revision: While some argue that immediate intuition serves as a useful social guide, others contend that such hasty evaluations are frequently flawed. Why it matters: This rewrite introduces more complex grammatical structures and advanced vocabulary, which helps to meet the criteria for higher bands.
- 7. Strengthen thesis statement Original: In my opinion, this can be both good and bad, but it is more negative. Suggested revision: In my opinion, while quick judgments can occasionally offer practical benefits, the tendency to rely on them is ultimately detrimental as it leads to inaccurate assumptions. Why it matters: A more precise thesis statement clearly outlines the scope of your argument and sets up a stronger academic tone.
- 8. Expand body paragraph Suggested revision: Add another sentence explaining how evolutionary biology or survival instincts play a role in quick judgments to deepen the argument. Why it matters: The first body paragraph is a bit brief. Adding a point about how rapid assessment is an evolutionary mechanism for safety would make the argument more robust.
- 9. Elaborate on consequences Suggested revision: Provide a specific example of how a missed connection or a bad business decision can result from a poor first impression. Why it matters: The paragraph discusses losing the chance to make friends, but adding a concrete example (e.g., in workplace recruitment) would strengthen the task response.
- 10. Word Count Warning Suggested revision: Aim to write at least 260-280 words to ensure you fully develop your ideas and avoid any under-length penalties. Why it matters: The current essay is around 210 words. Writing under the 250-word limit will negatively impact your Task Response score.
- 11. Lexical Variety Suggested revision: Avoid repeating simple words like 'good', 'bad', 'people', and 'time'. Use synonyms to show range. Why it matters: Repeating basic vocabulary limits your score to a Band 6.0 in Lexical Resource. Try to use words like 'beneficial', 'adverse', 'individuals', and 'efficiency'.
Suggested Rewrites
- decide quickly form rapid assessments
- judgement judgment
- friendly and polite approachable and courteous
- Also, Furthermore,
- kind and helpful warm and cooperative
- Some people think this is helpful, while others think it is not. While some argue that immediate intuition serves as a useful social guide, others contend that such hasty evaluations are frequently flawed.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The candidate addresses all parts of the prompt and presents a clear position throughout the essay. However, the ideas could be developed with more depth and specific examples to achieve a higher band score.
To improve, expand on the examples. Instead of just stating that a person might look unfriendly, explain how this affects long-term social or professional dynamics in more detail.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well-structured with clear paragraphing and logical progression. Cohesive devices are used naturally, though some transitions are slightly repetitive.
Vary the transition signals. Instead of relying solely on 'On the one hand / On the other hand', try 'While there are clear benefits to rapid assessment, the drawbacks are often more significant'.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is accurate and appropriate for the task, but it is somewhat basic. There is a lack of less common lexical items or idiomatic expressions that would elevate the score.
Incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to psychology and social interaction, such as 'cognitive bias', 'snap judgements', 'preconceived notions', or 'subconscious assessment'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The grammar is highly accurate with very few errors, but the sentence structures are relatively simple. There is a need for more complex sentence patterns to demonstrate higher grammatical range.
Incorporate complex structures such as conditional sentences, relative clauses, and passive voice to show a wider grammatical range.