To solve the ever-increasing environmental hazards throughout the world, the best way is to increase the price of fuel. What is your opinion on the above assumption?
Same question Compare all 2 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
Environmental or natural hazards are the results of physical processes that affect humans and environment every day and harmful for both in the short and long run. As the use of fuel increases to keep up with modern demands and increased population, the world is becoming more vulnerable to environmental hazards and disasters. Floods, earthquakes, severe thunderstorms, toxic or oil spills immediately come to mind when comprehending this issue, implying that all these things are inherently hazardous.
One of the most effective solutions to these environmental hazards is to raise the price of fuel. The use of petroleum and gasoline can release toxic chemicals into our atmosphere. These chemicals escape into the air during refilling, from the gasoline tank and carburettor during normal operation, and from engine exhaust. Transportation sources account for about 30-50% of all harmful emissions into the atmosphere. The industrialisation is another reason for the omission of harmful chemicals too.
“Smog” is another environmental hazard. It causes human respiratory stress, and damages many plants, significantly reducing farm crop yields and the “health” of trees and other vegetation. Burning gasoline emits significant quantities of a wide range of harmful gases into the atmosphere. For example, carbon monoxide is a poisonous gas produced by incomplete combustion. Carbon dioxide, a normal product of burning fuel, is non-toxic but contributes to the greenhouse effect, which is also known as global warming and it is probably the most dangerous threat to the human existence.
Raising the price of fuel would mean that people would use less petroleum and gasoline. They would find other alternative means of transport to save money, which would mean using less high-priced fuel for everyday purposes. For example, cycling is a healthy activity and it saves the earth too. Also, for a long journey, people could try to find friends together for car-pooling. Carpooling saves a lot of fuel and would save a lot of money too. But other things should be considered to reduce the use of these dangerous fuels. A government should implement strict rules of using cars, for instance no less than 4 persons should be allowed to drive a single car. The price should be increased in a thoughtful way because if the price is so high it will hamper the average people's life leading. There are so many people yet use public transportation for movement and the increased price will make their life miserable. The prices of many necessary daily ingredients also increase with the price of the fuel.
Many environmental hazards like “smog” and global warming are increasing around the world due to the excessive use of petroleum and gasoline in our daily lives. Raising the price of fuel could make all the difference to the environment. It would force people to use petrol in a more responsible way and use it less, and therefore be the most effective solution to the problem of ever-increasing environmental hazards though it might have some side effects but those can be controlled by the proper initiatives by the Government.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the article Original: humans and environment Suggested revision: humans and the environment Why it matters: “Environment” requires the definite article when referring to the natural world generally.
- 2. Add verb and preposition Original: and harmful for both Suggested revision: and are harmful to both Why it matters: The coordinated predicate needs the verb “are,” and the correct preposition is “to.”
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: modern demands and increased population Suggested revision: modern demands and population growth Why it matters: “Population growth” is the natural expression for an increasing population.
- 4. Clarify spill types Original: toxic or oil spills Suggested revision: toxic chemical or oil spills Why it matters: Adding “chemical” makes the coordination between the two types of spills clear.
- 5. Use natural wording Original: when comprehending this issue Suggested revision: when considering this issue Why it matters: “Considering” is the natural verb for bringing examples to mind in a discussion.
- 6. Remove the article Original: The industrialisation Suggested revision: Industrialisation Why it matters: The uncountable abstract noun is used without “the” in this general statement.
- 7. Correct word choice Original: omission of harmful chemicals Suggested revision: emission of harmful chemicals Why it matters: “Emission” means the release of substances, whereas “omission” means leaving something out.
- 8. Remove incorrect comma Original: respiratory stress, and damages Suggested revision: respiratory stress and damages Why it matters: A comma should not separate two predicates sharing the subject “It.”
- 9. Remove unnecessary article Original: the human existence Suggested revision: human existence Why it matters: The abstract general phrase “human existence” does not take “the.”
- 10. Avoid redundancy Original: other alternative means Suggested revision: alternative means Why it matters: “Alternative” already means another option, making “other” redundant.
- 11. Use precise wording Original: it saves the earth too Suggested revision: it also benefits the environment Why it matters: This revision preserves the claim while using more precise formal wording.
- 12. Use natural expression Original: find friends together for car-pooling Suggested revision: find friends to carpool with Why it matters: The original combination of “find,” “together,” and “for” is not idiomatic.
Suggested Rewrites
- humans and environment humans and the environment
- and harmful for both and are harmful to both
- modern demands and increased population modern demands and population growth
- toxic or oil spills toxic chemical or oil spills
- when comprehending this issue when considering this issue
- The industrialisation Industrialisation
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear position and develops the environmental rationale, practical effects, and social drawbacks of higher fuel prices in considerable detail. However, the opening includes hazards unrelated to fuel, while several later points become repetitive or imprecisely expressed. The highest-priority improvement is to select only directly relevant evidence and express the policy’s benefits and limitations in tighter, more controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear opinion is sustained and supported through detailed discussion of emissions, behavioural change, alternatives, and possible costs.
Remove unrelated natural-disaster material and evaluate more directly why fuel pricing would be more effective than other measures.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are organised into a logical progression, though the long policy paragraph and conclusion contain some repetition and loose connections.
Divide extended discussion into more focused units and make each paragraph advance one distinct part of the argument.
Lexical Resource
A broad topic-specific vocabulary conveys detailed ideas, despite several inaccurate choices and awkward collocations.
Replace imprecise expressions such as ‘omission of harmful chemicals’ and ‘life leading’ with accurate, natural alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but recurring article, agreement, clause-boundary, and sentence-control errors reduce accuracy.
Shorten overloaded sentences and check that each dependent clause is correctly linked to a complete main clause.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
To solve the ever-increasing environmental hazards throughout the world, the best way is to increase the price of fuel. What is your opinion on the above assumption?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.