In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.
Sample Response
Some people think that teenagers need to work while they are students. However, others believe that young people should not combine their education with a job. These two options are a matter of debatecontroversial ones. In my opinion, they both have advantages and disadvantagesdisadvantages and advantages. I base my opinion on the following points.
On the one handOn one hand, a student who worksa working student has many benefits. First of all, such a student learns how to manage their timearrange his time to be able to balance their studies and work schedulecombine his study time and working schedule. Personally, I think that it is a very important benefit for a studentbenefit a student can get from this. SecondlySecond of all, a student learns how to save money and manage theirhis budget. A person gains new experience and knowledge by working with new peopleworking with the new people. He feels more independent and spends his or her money wisely.
On the other hand, a student who works might not have enough time to meet his or her course requirements. Sometimes it may result in failing an exama failure on an exam and that would be a waste of money and time. From my everyday experience and observation, some people require more time to study new materialmaterials and prepare for an exam. Others, by contraston the contrary, can easily understand new materials and they need less time. So, my point is that a person should decide for himself whether he will be able to combine his study and his work or not. Another important aspect of getting a job is that a student will most likely havemost likely will have no time for parties, movies and time with their friendshis friends. I think that he or she should understand this fact.
To conclude, I believe that work experiencea working experience will give a student more benefits in the future than it takes from him or her in the present.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response explores both benefits and drawbacks in a logical structure and ultimately gives a clear, relevant judgement in favour of student employment. Its main limitation is that some supporting points remain general and several collocations and pronoun choices are awkward. The highest-priority improvement is to state the qualified position earlier and develop the strongest reason with a more concrete example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the question with a clear final opinion and develops relevant advantages and disadvantages of combining work with study.
State the overall judgement clearly in the introduction and support the central benefit with a more specific real-world example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organised into contrasting sides, and its main ideas progress clearly through appropriate paragraphing and linking.
Use less formulaic sequencing and make the relationship between the balanced discussion and the final preference more explicit.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, although several awkward collocations and repetitive references limit precision and naturalness.
Use more natural phrases such as work experience, meet academic demands, and spend time with friends while varying repeated references to a student.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of simple and complex structures is generally accurate, with errors in articles and pronoun consistency rarely impeding meaning.
Maintain consistent pronoun reference and review article use in phrases such as working experience and the new people.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.