Some people say that now is the best time in history to be living. What is your opinion about this? What other time in history would be interesting to live in?
Sample Response
[Yes, we are living in the best time in history]
The world has undergone numerous transformations over the centuries, and the current era seems like doing it more progressively. So, some people believe that this is the best time in history to live in. I completely agree with this viewpoint, and I believe that this is the best time to be alive. In this essay, I will also mention a period which I believe would be quite interesting to live in.
One reason why I believe that now is the best time in history to live is the advancements in technology. Technology has revolutionized every aspect of our lives, making it easier and more convenient. With the advent of the internet, the world has become a global village, enabling individuals to connect and communicate with each other regardless of their location. Additionally, technology has contributed to significant developments in medical science, making it possible to treat and cure diseases that were once considered incurable. We no longer have simple and curable diseases that claim millions of lives overnight. This is indeed a blessing.
Another reason to think of the current time as the best period to live in is that society is becoming more accepting and inclusive. Discrimination based on race, gender, and sexual orientation has significantly reduced. We have progressed significantly towards gender and racial equality, with more representation and opportunities being given to historically underrepresented groups. In addition, society has become more tolerant of differences in lifestyle choices, such as those related to religion, marriage, and personal beliefs.
In my personal belief, the Renaissance period, which took place from the 14th to the 17th century, would be a fascinating time to live in. This period was marked by a revival of art, literature, and learning, which transformed the cultural landscape of Europe. The great artists, philosophers, and scientists of the time produced some of the most enduring works of human history, and their ideas and innovations continue to influence us today. Living during this time would have provided the opportunity to witness firsthand the birth of new ideas and the development of new technologies, as well as the flourishing of artistic and intellectual expression.
In conclusion, while there have been ups and downs in history, I believe that now is the best time to be alive. The advancements in technology and the increase in acceptance all contribute to this belief.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Repair construction Original: seems like doing it more progressively Suggested revision: appears to be changing more rapidly Why it matters: The original verb construction is ungrammatical and has an unclear pronoun reference.
- 2. Fix agreement Original: is the advancements in technology Suggested revision: is technological advancement Why it matters: The singular complement agrees with one reason and forms a natural noun phrase.
- 3. Clarify pronoun Original: making it easier and more convenient Suggested revision: making daily life easier and more convenient Why it matters: The original it has no clear singular antecedent.
- 4. Clarify disease description Original: simple and curable diseases Suggested revision: easily treatable diseases Why it matters: Simple does not clearly describe a disease's severity or ease of treatment.
- 5. Correct collocation Original: has significantly reduced Suggested revision: has decreased significantly Why it matters: Discrimination decreases rather than reduces when no agent is specified.
- 6. Fix verb pattern Original: progressed significantly towards Suggested revision: made significant progress towards Why it matters: Make progress is the idiomatic construction for movement towards equality.
- 7. Remove draft heading Original: [Yes, we are living in the best time in history] Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The bracketed heading is unnecessary because the introduction already states the position.
- 8. Use formal linker Original: So, Suggested revision: Therefore, Why it matters: Therefore expresses the claimed result in a more formal register.
- 9. Use precise verb Original: In this essay, I will also mention Suggested revision: I will also discuss Why it matters: Discuss better reflects the developed treatment of the historical period.
- 10. Remove redundancy Original: connect and communicate with each other Suggested revision: connect and communicate Why it matters: Both verbs already imply interaction, so with each other is unnecessary.
- 11. Signal topic shift Suggested revision: Add a clear transition when moving from communication technology to advances in medicine. Why it matters: The paragraph changes technological domains abruptly despite otherwise logical examples.
- 12. Order social examples Suggested revision: Move from reduced discrimination to increased representation and then to broader tolerance of lifestyle differences. Why it matters: This order would create a clearer progression from equality to wider social acceptance.
Suggested Rewrites
- seems like doing it more progressively appears to be changing more rapidly
- is the advancements in technology is technological advancement
- making it easier and more convenient making daily life easier and more convenient
- simple and curable diseases easily treatable diseases
- has significantly reduced has decreased significantly
- progressed significantly towards made significant progress towards
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response answers both questions fully, maintains a clear position, and develops technology, social inclusion, and the Renaissance with relevant, logically sequenced detail. Its main limitation is occasional awkward or repetitive phrasing, especially when describing historical progress, despite generally strong control. Prioritise more precise, natural formulations and introduce a little qualification to avoid broad claims sounding absolute.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both questions receive direct, well-developed answers, and the position on the present era remains clear throughout.
Qualify sweeping claims about disease and discrimination to make the reasoning more credible and nuanced.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses clearly from the current era's advantages to the chosen historical period, with effective paragraph focus.
Tighten repeated thesis language in the introduction and conclusion so each stage contributes distinct information.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad and generally precise across technological, social, and historical topics, despite occasional awkward phrasing.
Replace unnatural expressions such as the current era seems like doing it more progressively with concise idiomatic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentences is handled accurately, and the few lapses do not impede communication.
Polish article use and comparative constructions while preserving the effective variety of subordinate and participial clauses.
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