It is widely believed that children of different levels of intelligence should be taught together, while others think that more intelligent children should be taught separately. Discuss and present your own opinion. Which one do your support?
Sample Response
In the past in many educational institutions children have been taught together based on their age regardless of intellectual ability displayed at schools. Alternatively, a large proportion of the population believes there should be a strong move towards the separation of children of different intellectual capabilities in current educational institutions. From my own educational perspective, I honestly believe that younger students possessing higher intelligence levels than their peers ought to be separated into alternative levels based on their gift, for a number of reasons. Admittedly, although young learners have the chance to learn a lot from associating with classmates their own age, it is widely believed that such a process isn’t considered to be vital for a healthy educational upbringing. The argument for intellectual separation holds some strong advantages. Firstly, by allocating students to classes based on levels of intelligence, high achievers have the opportunity to excel in a way that they couldn’t in a normal class. Owing to the fact that they can be placed into an unrestricted educational environment, students can excel with intellectual freedom. Secondly, there is a strong argument in regards to inhibiting a child’s intellectual growth by restricting them from moving above their peers if their mental capability permits. Why should we limit the intelligence of our future generation? For instance, many of today’s highly successful artists and entrepreneurs in the world have come from an unrestricted educational background and have been allowed to explore their mind and careers to the fullest extent. In conclusion, although I believe an educational environment for young learners should promote equal opportunity, I honestly think that creating a more liberal environment which enhances the learning capabilities of intellectually-gifted children will not only benefit individual’s careers but future society as a whole.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify opening structure Original: In the past in many educational institutions children have been taught together Suggested revision: In the past, many educational institutions taught children together Why it matters: The revision removes the misplaced prepositional phrase and gives the sentence a clear subject and verb.
- 2. Add clear subject Original: intellectual ability displayed at schools Suggested revision: the intellectual ability they displayed at school Why it matters: The relative clause makes clear that the children display the ability.
- 3. Signal contrast accurately Original: Alternatively Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: The second view contrasts with the first rather than presenting an interchangeable alternative.
- 4. Use concise wording Original: a strong move towards the separation of children Suggested revision: a strong case for separating children Why it matters: The replacement expresses support for the policy more directly.
- 5. Remove unnecessary wording Original: From my own educational perspective Suggested revision: From my perspective Why it matters: Educational and own add no necessary meaning to this statement of opinion.
- 6. Name placement clearly Original: alternative levels Suggested revision: different classes Why it matters: Classes is a clear educational grouping, whereas alternative levels is vague.
- 7. Use precise reference Original: based on their gift Suggested revision: according to their ability Why it matters: Ability refers precisely to the intellectual difference discussed in the task.
- 8. Avoid double concession Original: Admittedly, although Suggested revision: Although Why it matters: Using both markers creates an unnecessary double concession.
- 9. State the claim directly Original: it is widely believed that such a process isn’t considered to be vital Suggested revision: I do not consider this interaction vital Why it matters: The direct wording removes an impersonal and repetitive passive construction.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: holds some strong advantages Suggested revision: offers several significant advantages Why it matters: Offers advantages is the natural verb-and-noun combination here.
- 11. Use concise sequencing Original: Firstly Suggested revision: First Why it matters: First is a more concise formal sequencing marker.
- 12. Reduce wordiness Original: Owing to the fact that Suggested revision: Because Why it matters: The single conjunction expresses the same causal relationship concisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- In the past in many educational institutions children have been taught together In the past, many educational institutions taught children together
- intellectual ability displayed at schools the intellectual ability they displayed at school
- Alternatively By contrast
- a strong move towards the separation of children a strong case for separating children
- From my own educational perspective From my perspective
- alternative levels different classes
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and uses generally fluent, varied language to support the case for separating highly able learners. However, the alternative view is only acknowledged rather than properly discussed, and several supporting claims remain broad or speculative. The highest-priority improvement is to develop the case for mixed-ability teaching with a concrete explanation or example before weighing it directly against the preferred approach.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear opinion is sustained, but the mixed-ability view is treated only briefly and support for the preferred view is sometimes general.
Develop the benefits of mixed-ability teaching with a specific example, then compare them directly with the advantages of separation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through a concession and supporting reasons, although presenting almost the entire response as one paragraph weakens organisational clarity.
Use distinct paragraphs for the two views and ensure each paragraph develops one central idea before moving to the next.
Lexical Resource
A broad range of vocabulary conveys the argument effectively, with only occasional awkwardness in collocations concerning educational levels and intellectual development.
Choose more precise, natural collocations when describing ability grouping and the long-term outcomes of education.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is used with good control, and the few agreement, possessive, or phrasing errors do not impede meaning.
Proofread complex sentences for agreement and possessive forms so that the strong grammatical range is consistently accurate.