A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets lots of exercises and avoids stress. What should people do to stay fit?
Sample Response
Nowadays to have an appropriate living condition, people usually follow different outlines, including having regular sports activities, eating healthy foods and having sufficient relaxation time. I think these methods can reduce the risk of cancer, hypertension and depression.
Obviously, I definitely give the green light to those having a healthy diet. The best reason is that this group of people will become less vulnerable to a variety of malignancies. Clearly, processed foods, which are served in many fast food restaurants, can increase the risk of colon cancer fundamentally, according to American Journal of Cancers. Unfortunately, now many humans are used to eating out,just over twice a week, causing them to become at risk of many Gastrointestinal cancers far more than the ones using home-cooked food.
The second healthy habit is having regular sports activities. Admittedly, one of the leading causes of hypertension is obesity, and to come up with it, doctors firmly recommend their patients to have minimum one hour of daily regular exercise. As a prime example, had not my father had enough regular activity, he would have suffered more from hypertension complications; however, fortunately, he followed his doctor’s recommendations and could overcome it.
Lastly, suppressing of anxiety could be another plan for having a less stressful lifestyle. Many citizens are at risk of tremendous stress in their daily life, including workplace conflicts or traffic congestion, leading them to be more under pressure mentally. They will gradually become more sleepless, isolated and depress. As a result, considering some periods of relaxation can assist them overcome with their low moods.
In conclusion, having appropriate diet, exercise and leisure activities are extremely important to humans. I personally believe that this living condition not only will reduce the risk of hypertension and cancer, but depression will become less risky to citizens.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add opening comma Original: Nowadays to have Suggested revision: Nowadays, to have Why it matters: A comma should separate the introductory adverb from the rest of the sentence.
- 2. Use accurate noun Original: different outlines Suggested revision: different routines Why it matters: Routines describes repeated healthy practices, whereas outlines does not fit this context.
- 3. Use formal wording Original: give the green light to Suggested revision: support Why it matters: Support states the position more directly and suits the formal register.
- 4. Use precise ranking Original: The best reason Suggested revision: The main reason Why it matters: Main identifies the central reason without the unsupported superlative best.
- 5. Choose fitting adverb Original: fundamentally Suggested revision: substantially Why it matters: Substantially expresses an increase in degree, while fundamentally does not fit this claim.
- 6. Add definite article Original: according to American Journal of Cancers Suggested revision: according to the American Journal of Cancers Why it matters: A named journal requires the definite article in this construction.
- 7. Fix comma spacing Original: eating out,just Suggested revision: eating out just Why it matters: The comma is unnecessary and must not be joined to the following word.
- 8. Use natural noun Original: many humans Suggested revision: many people Why it matters: People is the natural term for members of society in this context.
- 9. Use lowercase adjective Original: Gastrointestinal Suggested revision: gastrointestinal Why it matters: This common adjective should not be capitalized mid-sentence.
- 10. Improve comparison Original: the ones using home-cooked food Suggested revision: those eating home-cooked food Why it matters: Those creates a clearer comparison between the two groups of people.
- 11. Correct phrasal verb Original: to come up with it Suggested revision: to address it Why it matters: Come up with means invent, not deal with a problem.
- 12. Complete quantity phrase Original: have minimum one hour Suggested revision: have a minimum of one hour Why it matters: The quantity construction requires the article a and the preposition of.
Suggested Rewrites
- Nowadays to have Nowadays, to have
- different outlines different routines
- give the green light to support
- The best reason The main reason
- fundamentally substantially
- according to American Journal of Cancers according to the American Journal of Cancers
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response directly answers the question through three relevant habits and supports each one with explanation or an example, creating a clear and purposeful progression. Its main limitation is persistent imprecision in vocabulary and grammar, which makes several otherwise sensible points sound unnatural. Prioritise accurate collocations and sentence patterns while retaining the effective diet, exercise and stress-management structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response addresses diet, exercise and stress management with relevant explanations and examples, though some health claims are broad or overstated.
Qualify unsupported medical claims and explain more precisely how each recommended habit helps people remain fit.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organised around three distinct habits, with clear topic progression and generally effective paragraphing.
Reduce mechanical signposting and strengthen the transition from each recommendation to its specific health outcome.
Lexical Resource
There is a broad topic-related vocabulary range, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision and naturalness.
Use established expressions such as maintain a healthy lifestyle, manage anxiety and become depressed instead of forced alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures successfully, but recurring errors in agreement, complements and clause construction remain noticeable.
Check subject-verb agreement and verb patterns, particularly after recommend, assist and paired constructions such as not only but also.