These days, people work in more than one job and often change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Sample Response
Nowadays, in many cases, people have to make many decisionsmake lots of decisions regarding their career. Some people prefer to work in many places and gain life experienceexperiences while others argue that this is not always optimal. Is it really beneficial to be involved in many occupations or is it better to remain in a single careerfollow your dream path having only the favourite job? In this essay, both advantages and disadvantages of having many jobs will be reviewed and my viewthe author's opinion provided.
I will start by analysing the advantages of changing careerscareer several times during their livesduring the lifetime. One of the greatest benefits of having more than one job is that people can increase their incomeit is easier to earn money. Generally speaking, many students find an occupation so as to be able to become independent from their parents in terms of money. Although they find some entry-level jobstrivial jobs, such as being a cleaner, they can become professional specialists after having finished their studies. Another major positive aspect is that people are able to focus on their main job and additionally do something else after workafter their work which might be more interesting. In my experience, I used to work as a software developer for an enterprise and gaveread lectures at a university. It was beneficial becausedue to fact that I earned enough money and it was exciting to share my knowledge with students. On the other handOn the other hand, there are some disadvantages too - one of them being the inability to concentrate on theiryour career goals. For instance, it can be pretty difficult to devote yourself to the work that is the most important to you because either you may not prioritise your jobs or you lack time. Therefore, it is much harderTherefore, noteworthy is the fact that it becomes much harder to acquire the required experience. Another significant drawback of having many jobs is that the work-life balancelife-work balance deteriorates. For example, for many, people feel inferior if they lack qualificationsqualification in their new occupation. It is quite a frequent situation as it is tough to gain a wide variety of work experience. In conclusion, the pros and cons of having and switching many jobs were described. In my view, the disadvantages outweigh the advantagesdisadvantages outweigh disadvantages and it is suggested that people should work in many places only if they need money or only temporarily due to other causes.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay addresses both benefits and drawbacks and supports several points with relevant examples, especially extra income, varied work and reduced concentration. Its central weakness is conceptual focus: holding simultaneous jobs and changing careers are sometimes treated interchangeably, while one disadvantage is poorly explained and the conclusion contains a meaning-changing error. Separate the two phenomena and develop each consequence more precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both sides are addressed with a clear opinion and relevant support, but career changes receive less direct attention and some reasoning is underdeveloped.
Distinguish multiple concurrent jobs from repeated career changes and give at least one developed advantage and drawback of each.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall progression is logical, but the two body sections are not visibly paragraphed and some transitions and references are awkward.
Create separate advantage and disadvantage paragraphs with clear topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is reasonably varied, though several collocations and word choices are inaccurate.
Use natural expressions such as give lectures, work-life balance, gain expertise, and temporary work.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used with reasonable control, but missing articles, faulty inversion and pronoun shifts recur.
Check articles and maintain consistent third-person reference throughout.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
These days, people work in more than one job and often change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.