Children’s education is expensive. In some countries, governments pay partly or all education fees. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
In recent year, there is a growing consideration for the government in term of child education, particularly payment for their tuition fees. Although this policy brings certain drawbacks, I believe that the benefits are much greater.
On the one hand, the policy of free education charge may place a dramatic burden on the national budget. The government may have to pour money in education, therefore financial fund could have not enough for other sectors such as infrastructure and medical care, which may hold the economy back from development. In addition, some taxpayers who live alone or do not have children may feel unfair because their money is likely spent for sake of others, not for theirs.
However, I would argue that the benefit of free of tuition fee should be more considered. First, among these is studying is definitely encouraged, which lead to the reduction of the illiteracy rate. As a result, the children who go to school will have more chance to find a job, and they would be the future workforce for the country. Take Singapore as an example, they have sponsored education fee for their young generation, which encourages them to go to schools or universities, this is reasons why Singapore has a high qualified manpower contributing for their development. Another significant advantage is that family may not be worried about financial burden because of high education fee, and they would have more money to take care nutrition and health care for their children.
In conclusion, it seems to me that free charge of education would bring more benefits than its disadvantage.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the plural time phrase Original: In recent year Suggested revision: In recent years Why it matters: The standard phrase uses the plural noun years.
- 2. Clarify the government concern Original: a growing consideration for the government Suggested revision: a growing concern among governments Why it matters: Concern among governments naturally expresses increasing policy attention.
- 3. Use the fixed expression Original: in term of Suggested revision: in terms of Why it matters: The expression in terms of always uses the plural noun terms.
- 4. Use the possessive form Original: child education Suggested revision: children's education Why it matters: The possessive form identifies education provided to children.
- 5. Clarify the policy focus Original: particularly payment for their tuition fees Suggested revision: particularly the payment of tuition fees Why it matters: The revised noun phrase states the funding issue directly and removes the unclear pronoun.
- 6. Use accurate funding language Original: free education charge Suggested revision: government-funded education Why it matters: Government-funded education naturally describes the policy being discussed.
- 7. Use a natural collocation Original: dramatic burden Suggested revision: heavy burden Why it matters: Heavy burden is the standard collocation for substantial financial pressure.
- 8. Describe the taxpayers correctly Original: may feel unfair Suggested revision: may feel unfairly treated Why it matters: People feel unfairly treated, while a situation itself may be unfair.
- 9. Complete the passive form Original: because their money is likely spent Suggested revision: because their money is likely to be spent Why it matters: Likely requires the infinitive to be before the passive participle spent.
- 10. Add the missing article Original: for sake of others Suggested revision: for the sake of others Why it matters: The fixed expression is for the sake of.
- 11. Clarify the possessive reference Original: not for theirs Suggested revision: not for their own benefit Why it matters: Theirs has no clear noun referent in this comparison.
- 12. Fix number and phrasing Original: the benefit of free of tuition fee Suggested revision: the benefits of free tuition Why it matters: Benefits should be plural here, and free tuition needs no intervening of.
Suggested Rewrites
- In recent year In recent years
- a growing consideration for the government a growing concern among governments
- in term of in terms of
- child education children's education
- particularly payment for their tuition fees particularly the payment of tuition fees
- free education charge government-funded education
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay takes a clear position and develops relevant benefits, especially improved access to education, literacy, employment, and relief for family budgets. Its main limitation is language control: frequent grammatical and collocational errors make some explanations and the Singapore example difficult to follow, while the fiscal disadvantage receives less development. Prioritise rewriting each main claim in shorter accurate sentences and explaining how the educational gains outweigh the budgetary cost.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response addresses both disadvantages and advantages, maintains a clear position, and develops several relevant educational and household benefits.
Compare the long-term educational gains directly with the budgetary cost to demonstrate more convincingly why the advantages are greater.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-part structure creates clear overall progression, although linking is sometimes mechanical and the Singapore example becomes an overloaded run-on sentence.
Split the Singapore evidence into separate claim, example, and explanation sentences with unambiguous references.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate topic-specific vocabulary, but frequent combinations such as 'free education charge' and 'high qualified manpower' are inaccurate.
Use natural phrases such as 'tuition-free education', 'allocate funds to education', and 'a highly qualified workforce'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay attempts varied sentence forms, but agreement, article, number, and clause-structure errors occur frequently while meaning remains mostly clear.
Proofread each clause for a complete subject and verb, then check plural agreement in forms such as 'benefits' and 'families'.
Use this task for your next draft
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Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.
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