Nowadays more people are living by themselves. What are the reasons for this? Will this have a negative or a positive impact on the society?
Sample Response
The lifestyle of people represents the cultural and traditional norms of a society. The way we socialise, eat, live and behave becomes the trend which is followed by other members of a society. These footprints sometimes result in the destruction of moral values of a community. Recently, it is observed that the number of people preferring to live independently is gradually rising which is alarming as this will have a negative impact on society. This essay will analyse reasons for this and its impact on the society.
Family relations and moral values are the foundations of a reputable society. People opt to live independently because they want to live and lead a free life away from the family restrictions, regulations and norms. They say that their physiology doesn't match with other members of a family and living with them is a mental torture. For instance, children in Asian countries enjoy less freedom than that of West; once they grow up they develop the desire to live alone and autonomous life. Not all of it is associated with the family environment, few people working abroad prefers to live alone or with friends. They believe that this way they can save more and send the same to their families back home. For instance, in UAE, private accommodation cost is more than the average salary of a worker.
Living alone not only affects the person in general but its effects on society are adverse. People living alone suffer from homesickness, they do not want to share their feelings and emotions with others which might result in mental disorders or damage their personality. Their families suffer back home when they need them physically in case of events, gathering or medical emergencies. Children preferring to live alone or with friends are unable to learn the moral lessons or acquire virtuous deeds preached by their parents or guardians. These values are the pillars of a society. Moreover, they don't share the responsibility of the parents, siblings or take part in household stuff which throws the burden on other members of a family.
To recapitulate, the aforementioned provides plausible arguments that highlighted myriad reasons of living independently and its impact on society. People opting to live private and self-governing life often trade their happiness and comfort with the emotions and feelings associated with the combined family system.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use indefinite article Original: becomes the trend Suggested revision: becomes a trend Why it matters: A first mention of a countable trend requires the indefinite article.
- 2. Choose accurate noun Original: These footprints Suggested revision: These patterns Why it matters: Footprints does not clearly refer to the social behaviours described.
- 3. Use present perfect Original: Recently, it is observed Suggested revision: Recently, it has been observed Why it matters: The present perfect passive fits an observation made over a recent period.
- 4. Separate added clause Original: is gradually rising which is alarming Suggested revision: is gradually rising, which is alarming Why it matters: The non-defining comment needs a comma before which.
- 5. Remove unnecessary article Original: its impact on the society Suggested revision: its impact on society Why it matters: Society is used generically here and does not take the definite article.
- 6. Remove redundant verb Original: live and lead a free life Suggested revision: lead a free life Why it matters: Lead a free life expresses the idea without repeating live.
- 7. Use generic plural Original: the family restrictions Suggested revision: family restrictions Why it matters: The restrictions are mentioned generally, so the definite article is unnecessary.
- 8. Correct word choice Original: their physiology doesn't match with Suggested revision: their personalities are incompatible with Why it matters: Physiology refers to bodily functions rather than interpersonal compatibility.
- 9. Use uncountable noun Original: is a mental torture Suggested revision: is mental torture Why it matters: Torture is uncountable in this use and should not take a.
- 10. Complete comparison Original: less freedom than that of West Suggested revision: less freedom than children in the West Why it matters: The comparison should explicitly compare children with children.
- 11. Repair verb phrase Original: live alone and autonomous life Suggested revision: live an autonomous life Why it matters: The adjective autonomous needs the noun phrase an autonomous life after live.
- 12. Fix determiner agreement Original: few people working abroad prefers Suggested revision: a few people working abroad prefer Why it matters: A few gives the intended positive quantity and the plural subject takes prefer.
Suggested Rewrites
- becomes the trend becomes a trend
- These footprints These patterns
- Recently, it is observed Recently, it has been observed
- is gradually rising which is alarming is gradually rising, which is alarming
- its impact on the society its impact on society
- live and lead a free life lead a free life
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear negative position and addresses both the reasons for living alone and its effects, with several relevant explanations. Its main limitation is imprecise development: some examples do not clearly support the point, and frequent awkward phrasing weakens authority. The highest priority is to make each example directly prove the preceding claim while using more natural collocations and better-controlled complex sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both questions are answered with a clear position and generally relevant, extended ideas.
Make every example directly support the stated reason or social consequence rather than introducing a partly contradictory detail.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through reasons and effects, although some long sentences and references weaken local flow.
Separate densely packed claims and use clearer referencing so each supporting point connects smoothly to the next.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate topic vocabulary and some range, but inaccurate collocations and word choices recur throughout.
Replace unnatural phrases with precise combinations, especially when describing family relationships, accommodation, and independent living.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument, but agreement, article, and sentence-boundary errors are frequent.
Prioritise accurate clause boundaries and subject-verb agreement when constructing longer explanatory sentences.