Encouraging people to use public transport is the best way to solve traffic problems in cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Traffic congestion has already become a major social problem not only in developed cities but also in third world countries, especially in urban areas. It is a tough nut to crack for many nations. Though many ideas are rising from the different corners of the world, my two cents is that the encouraging people to use public transport is an effective solution. Firstly, use of public transportations will help to bring down the number of private vehicles on the road in cities. It is a gospel truth that, if private vehicles such as motorcycles and cars get decreased on roads, the traffic congestion will significantly decline. Moreover, it brings about a sea of changes in traffic culture by avoiding road rage, which is another cause of traffic jam in many cities. So, promotion of common transports keeps the roads free and city travel becomes a piece of cake. According to the recent survey of Volvo company, in New York city, the traffic congestion is significantly down than any other cities in the USA because of excellent public transport system usage of public, is the best epitome. Secondly, public vehicles such as buses and trams can slow down the movement on the road. To be more precise, the slow movement of vehicles pays an extra dividend to bring down traffic congestion in cities. Moreover, avoiding unnecessary overtaking and similar driving activities come about by use of common traffic vehicles. Hence, the traffic jam can bring down in a great deal. Exclusive areas of buses and trams in cities have been experiencing less traffic congestion is the best epitome of it. However, an army of people argues that the public transport system increases the travelling time and give cold comfort to commuters. Perhaps it may be true to some degree but, it cannot be denied that the vehicle speed down is an effective solution for smooth and traffic jam free city travel. To crown it all, encouraging the public to get along with the common transport system is the best option to bring down city traffic clogging. Buses and trams create less traffic jam by its slow-moving nature. If the public goes by public transport system settings, it breaks the city traffic jam deadlock in a smoother way.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use current term Original: third world countries Suggested revision: developing countries Why it matters: "Developing countries" is a more neutral and current term in formal writing.
- 2. Use formal wording Original: tough nut to crack Suggested revision: difficult problem to solve Why it matters: The idiom is conversational; the replacement suits an academic discussion.
- 3. Fix unnatural phrase Original: ideas are rising from the different corners of the world Suggested revision: solutions are being proposed around the world Why it matters: Ideas do not naturally "rise from corners"; the replacement clearly describes the emergence of possible solutions.
- 4. Use academic stance Original: my two cents Suggested revision: my view Why it matters: The conversational idiom is too informal for an academic position statement.
- 5. Remove extra article Original: the encouraging people Suggested revision: encouraging people Why it matters: The gerund phrase functioning as the subject should not begin with "the" here.
- 6. Use uncountable noun Original: public transportations Suggested revision: public transport Why it matters: "Transport" is uncountable when it refers to the public system generally.
- 7. Use measured claim Original: It is a gospel truth that, Suggested revision: It is clear that Why it matters: The original expression is overly absolute and the comma after "that" is incorrect.
- 8. Fix verb form Original: get decreased on roads Suggested revision: decrease on the roads Why it matters: An intransitive active verb is needed to describe a reduction in the number of vehicles.
- 9. Use formal quantity Original: a sea of changes Suggested revision: substantial changes Why it matters: The figurative phrase is informal and imprecise in this context.
- 10. Use plural noun Original: another cause of traffic jam Suggested revision: another cause of traffic jams Why it matters: The count noun should be plural when referring to the problem in cities generally.
- 11. Use standard term Original: common transports Suggested revision: public transport Why it matters: "Common transports" is not the conventional term for shared buses, trams and related services.
- 12. Remove informal idiom Original: a piece of cake Suggested revision: easier Why it matters: The concise adjective communicates the intended benefit in an appropriately formal register.
Suggested Rewrites
- third world countries developing countries
- tough nut to crack difficult problem to solve
- ideas are rising from the different corners of the world solutions are being proposed around the world
- my two cents my view
- the encouraging people encouraging people
- public transportations public transport
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay states a consistent pro-public-transport position and recognises that fewer private vehicles can reduce congestion. Its main limitation is argument quality: the claim that slower buses and trams themselves ease congestion is insufficiently logical, and pervasive awkward idioms, collocations, and sentence structures often cloud the message. Build the response around fewer, defensible mechanisms—reduced car numbers and dedicated transit lanes—and express each in straightforward, grammatical language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The position is clear and the reduction in private vehicles is relevant, but the slower-vehicle argument is poorly justified and some supporting examples are implausible or unclear.
Develop two credible mechanisms, such as replacing many cars with one bus and giving transit dedicated lanes, using clear cause-and-effect explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognisable progression through two reasons, a counterpoint, and a conclusion, though the single block and mechanical connectors weaken cohesion.
Create distinct paragraphs for each reason and the counterargument, and use connectors only when the logical relationship is clear.
Lexical Resource
There is an evident attempt at range, but frequent nonstandard expressions such as "common transports," "traffic clogging," and "give cold comfort" repeatedly impair precision.
Replace figurative or invented phrases with standard terms such as "public transport," "congestion," "commute time," and "dedicated bus lanes."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex structures are attempted, but frequent article, agreement, passive-form, and sentence-construction errors make several passages difficult to follow.
Write shorter complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, then check forms such as "traffic congestion can be reduced" and "buses create fewer traffic jams."
Use this task for your next draft
Feedback is more useful when you actively apply it in a draft, rather than only recognising improvements on the page.
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.
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