Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The role of instilling moral values and social responsibilities in children is often debated, with some arguing that parents should take on this responsibility while others believe schools are better suited for this purpose. This essay will discuss both perspectives and opine that parents play the most significant role in shaping their children into responsible members of society because they are a child’s first role models and provide consistent moral guidance.
On the one hand, some people argue that schools should be responsible for teaching children how to be good citizens. They argue that schools provide a structured environment where children interact with peers from diverse backgrounds and learn essential social skills such as cooperation, empathy, and teamwork. Moreover, subjects like civic studies and ethics educate students on societal norms, legal responsibilities, and global issues. For instance, many countries have introduced character education programs in their school curriculum, which aim to instil values such as honesty, respect, and tolerance in students.
On the other hand, others opine that parents play a fundamental role in shaping their children’s moral compass and social behaviour from an early age. Unlike teachers, who interact with children only during school hours, parents provide a continuous and nurturing environment where ethical principles are reinforced daily. By demonstrating kindness, patience, and responsibility in their own actions, parents serve as the most influential role models. For example, a child who observes their parents engaging in charitable activities or treating others with respect is more likely to adopt similar behaviours. Furthermore, parents have a deeper emotional connection with their children, making them better suited to instil long-term values that shape character and integrity.
In conclusion, while schools can contribute to teaching social values, the primary responsibility lies with parents. They provide early guidance, serve as role models, and ensure that moral values are consistently reinforced. Therefore, to cultivate responsible and ethical citizens, parents should take an active role in educating their children on how to be good members of society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural abstraction Original: social responsibilities Suggested revision: social responsibility Why it matters: The singular abstract noun is more natural when referring to a general quality.
- 2. Use concise phrasing Original: take on this responsibility Suggested revision: assume this responsibility Why it matters: This replacement is more concise while preserving the meaning.
- 3. Avoid repeated noun Original: for this purpose Suggested revision: to do so Why it matters: This reference avoids repeating “responsibility” and links the alternatives smoothly.
- 4. Use natural reporting verb Original: opine that parents Suggested revision: argue that parents Why it matters: “Argue” is more natural than “opine” in this academic context.
- 5. State claim precisely Original: the most significant role Suggested revision: the primary role Why it matters: “Primary role” expresses the intended priority more directly.
- 6. Keep number consistent Original: a child’s first role models Suggested revision: children’s first role models Why it matters: The plural possessive aligns with the preceding plural reference to parents’ children.
- 7. Match task wording Original: good citizens Suggested revision: responsible members of society Why it matters: This phrasing connects the paragraph more precisely to the concept used throughout the response.
- 8. Remove semantic overlap Original: cooperation, empathy, and teamwork Suggested revision: empathy and teamwork Why it matters: Cooperation and teamwork overlap, so removing one makes the list tighter.
- 9. Match plural countries Original: in their school curriculum Suggested revision: in their school curricula Why it matters: The plural “curricula” agrees more clearly with the reference to many countries.
- 10. Avoid redundant contrast Original: On the other hand, others Suggested revision: By contrast, others Why it matters: This replacement retains the contrast without the repetitive “other…others” construction.
- 11. Signpost supporting points Suggested revision: Arrange daily reinforcement, parental modelling, and emotional connection as three clearly signposted supporting points. Why it matters: Clearer internal staging would make the long paragraph easier to follow.
- 12. Integrate final reason Suggested revision: Connect the final emotional-connection point to the earlier discussion of daily reinforcement. Why it matters: This link would make the last reason feel like a culmination rather than a late addition.
Suggested Rewrites
- social responsibilities social responsibility
- take on this responsibility assume this responsibility
- for this purpose to do so
- opine that parents argue that parents
- the most significant role the primary role
- a child’s first role models children’s first role models
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response fully addresses both views and sustains a clear preference for parental responsibility, supported by relevant explanation and examples in a logically controlled structure. Its main limitation is slight repetition of arguments and vocabulary around values, guidance, and role models; the highest-priority refinement is to sharpen the comparison between what parents and schools uniquely contribute while varying repeated phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views are fully discussed, the writer's opinion is consistently clear, and the main ideas are well extended with relevant examples.
Make the comparison still more incisive by explicitly weighing the distinctive strengths of schools against those of parents.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used naturally and clear links within each argument.
Reduce minor repetition in paragraph openings and vary the way supporting points are introduced.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, although a few formal choices and repeated words sound slightly overused.
Replace repeated terms such as values, instil, and role models with contextually precise alternatives where this improves naturalness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used flexibly and accurately, with only very minor lapses that do not impede communication.
Refine agreement and reference choices in long sentences to maintain consistently polished grammatical control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.