It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The statement states the old discussion of the role of nature and nurture. The first group believes that the innate capacities, inherited genes, or born talent play a key role in the professions like sports and performing arts such as music. It’s true that there are people who born with certain talents can perform exceptionally well in their fields. It’s also a general belief that musicians and artists are born with the ability of music and arts or sports.
The other groups of people have confidence in the learning. For them, any talent can be acquired be it a music or sports and any person can achieve anything through hard work and determination. They believe that the man is an architect of his own fate.
In my opinion, I support the second statement, though no one can rule out the role of natural talents. A person can be born with good voice tone and quality but he cannot achieve harmony, scale and rhythm without learning. And beyond one’s primitive ability, every innate talent is basic in nature and for its development, it requires encouragement and teaching. The consistency and hard work can then make you perfect. The poets and writers, though born with the talent, do not let out their work before making it perfect through several alterations. For example, William Wordsworth, the famous poet, revised and amended his poem daffodils. As it is said, “draft while drunk, but revise when sober.”
On the whole, innate abilities do provide an aptitude for art and sports but success and perfection require trial and error method.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Repetition Original: The statement states Suggested revision: The statement raises Why it matters: Raises avoids repeating state and is more natural for introducing a debate.
- 2. Natural phrase Original: born talent Suggested revision: inborn talent Why it matters: Inborn talent is the more idiomatic expression.
- 3. Article use Original: in the professions like sports Suggested revision: in fields like sports Why it matters: Fields is more suitable than professions for sports and performing arts.
- 4. Missing verb Original: people who born with certain talents Suggested revision: people who are born with certain talents Why it matters: The relative clause needs the verb are.
- 5. Awkward noun phrase Original: ability of music and arts or sports Suggested revision: ability in music, art, or sport Why it matters: Ability in is the correct phrase, and the list should be parallel.
- 6. Singular group Original: The other groups of people Suggested revision: The other group of people Why it matters: The essay is contrasting two broad groups, so singular group is clearer.
- 7. Unnatural phrase Original: have confidence in the learning Suggested revision: believe in learning Why it matters: Believe in learning is the natural expression.
- 8. Parallel form Original: be it a music or sports Suggested revision: whether it is music or sport Why it matters: The phrase needs correct noun forms and a clearer structure.
- 9. Cliche Original: the man is an architect of his own fate Suggested revision: people can shape their own abilities Why it matters: The original is a memorised proverb and does not add specific explanation.
- 10. Natural noun phrase Original: good voice tone and quality Suggested revision: a good tone and voice quality Why it matters: The revised phrase is more natural.
- 11. Wrong word choice Original: one’s primitive ability Suggested revision: one's basic ability Why it matters: Primitive is not the right word for an undeveloped talent here.
- 12. Pronoun clarity Original: for its development, it requires Suggested revision: its development requires Why it matters: This removes unnecessary repetition and improves clarity.
Suggested Rewrites
- The statement states The statement raises
- born talent inborn talent
- in the professions like sports in fields like sports
- people who born with certain talents people who are born with certain talents
- ability of music and arts or sports ability in music, art, or sport
- The other groups of people The other group of people
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay discusses both innate talent and training and gives a clear opinion that teaching and practice are more important, though some support is more literary than directly about music or sport.
Use one sports or music example for each view and explain how training develops an initial talent into high performance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is clear and the argument progresses logically from natural ability to learned skill and opinion, but a few links and examples are abrupt.
Add clearer topic sentences and connect the Wordsworth example directly to the teachable-skill argument.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally effective for the nature-versus-nurture topic, but there are some awkward collocations and word-form issues.
Use precise phrases such as innate ability, inherited talent, coaching, deliberate practice, musical ability, and sporting performance.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a range of sentence forms, but errors in relative clauses, articles, and parallel structures reduce accuracy.
Check clauses after people who and use consistent noun forms when listing music, arts, and sports.