Many employees are now required to wear a uniform as part of their company policy and this has many significant advantages. What is your viewpoint on this issue? Do the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Undoubtedly, variety rules are usually considered by different companies for their employees. Using of unique clothing, ordered by managers, can have some influences, and I believe that the positive effects are more considerable, helping people to have better unity, responsibility, and the company would have better productivity. Firstly, wearing a particular cloth can raise workers to have more harmony. Clearly, wearing different colours or patterns of clothing can induce employees to have different opinions about their duties, while those wearing one specific uniform usually prefer to follow the group and have less conflict with other colleagues. In this way, as a doctor working in a hospital, I feel more correlation and have better feeling with hospital crews the day I wear my white coat than when I use the regular one. Secondly, it assists crews to be more responsible. Obviously, to reach their goals, they will always try to think as a member of a group when they use individual clothing, and they undertake their duties accurately. For example, The United Nation employees, who always wear a unique uniform, would not achieve their goals to control the propagation of Ebola virus in Africa. Although their nationality was different, their wearing was one of the several reasons that increased their responsibility, and they succeeded. Finally, this method can enhance productivity. Statistically, reported by an international economy magazine, those organisations imposing strict rules on their employees to use uniform have a higher rate of production and sales. When workers wear the same cloth, they motivated to work harder, causing companies to have more highly quality and quantity of goods; however, in those businesses people using different clothing usually have less productivity. In conclusion, having harmony in crews' clothing, enterprises earn more profits. Their employees are comparably more cooperative and responsible with each other, and the rate of profitability can be inclined far dramatically.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the correct adjective Original: variety rules Suggested revision: various rules Why it matters: “Various” modifies the plural noun “rules,” whereas “variety” is a noun.
- 2. Use the right verb Original: are usually considered Suggested revision: are usually established Why it matters: Companies establish rules rather than consider them for employees in this context.
- 3. Correct the gerund phrase Original: Using of unique clothing Suggested revision: Requiring standardised clothing Why it matters: “Using of” is ungrammatical here, and the revision makes the managerial requirement clear.
- 4. Use a natural collocation Original: can have some influences Suggested revision: can have several effects Why it matters: “Have effects” is the natural collocation for describing consequences.
- 5. Choose a precise adjective Original: more considerable Suggested revision: more significant Why it matters: “More significant” naturally compares the importance of positive and negative effects.
- 6. Use the correct degree Original: better unity Suggested revision: greater unity Why it matters: “Greater” is the natural comparative used with the abstract noun “unity.”
- 7. Make the list parallel Original: responsibility, and the company would have better productivity Suggested revision: a greater sense of responsibility, and higher company productivity Why it matters: The revision gives all three listed benefits parallel noun-phrase structure.
- 8. Use the correct noun Original: a particular cloth Suggested revision: a particular uniform Why it matters: “Cloth” means fabric, while “uniform” refers to the required clothing.
- 9. Correct the collocation Original: raise workers to have more harmony Suggested revision: foster greater harmony among workers Why it matters: The verb “foster” naturally expresses the development of harmony in a group.
- 10. Use neutral wording Original: induce employees to have different opinions Suggested revision: lead employees to form different attitudes Why it matters: “Induce” is unnatural here, and “attitudes” better fits views about workplace duties.
- 11. Remove redundancy Original: other colleagues Suggested revision: their colleagues Why it matters: Colleagues are already other people, so “other colleagues” is redundant.
- 12. Use the intended noun Original: feel more correlation Suggested revision: feel a stronger connection Why it matters: “Correlation” describes a statistical relationship, not a person's sense of belonging.
Suggested Rewrites
- variety rules various rules
- are usually considered are usually established
- Using of unique clothing Requiring standardised clothing
- can have some influences can have several effects
- more considerable more significant
- better unity greater unity
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response states a consistent viewpoint and supplies several advantages of uniforms, with examples that generally make the intended argument understandable. However, it does not examine any disadvantages, so the required comparison is incomplete, while one-block organisation and frequent awkward wording weaken clarity. The highest priority is to discuss at least one credible drawback and explicitly weigh it against the claimed benefits in clearly separated paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear pro-uniform position is supported with several benefits, but the response largely omits the disadvantages required for a genuine comparison.
Develop one or two realistic disadvantages and explain explicitly why the advantages still carry greater weight.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence of benefits is recognisable, but the single long paragraph and mechanical sequencing limit the clarity of progression.
Separate the introduction, main arguments, counterargument, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs with clearer internal links.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonable range of vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices make expression awkward.
Use more natural combinations such as 'company policies', 'a sense of unity', and 'higher-quality goods' rather than forcing uncommon wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, clause formation, and verb patterns reduce control.
Prioritise accurate sentence cores and check subject-verb agreement and verb forms before adding complex clauses.