Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?
Sample Response
Growing urbanisation has led to the lacking of space and thus a large number of people are opting to live in apartments. However, some people still prefer to live in a house. This essay explores the advantages and disadvantages of both these style of living before coming to a logical conclusion.
Till a few decades back, living in individual houses was the most common norm. This was not only due to the fact that land was easily available but also due to the size of the family. The extended family lived and worked together. The house was generally accompanied by a large garden and ample space for the children to play. Even today, people living in houses prefer to do so because they value their privacy and need their own space. They also argue that they can build and design the house layout as per their convenience. However, living in a house comes with a high maintenance cost and extra effort.
However, people living in an apartment does not have to spend much on maintenance. The maintenance is taken care of by society. There is a helpline number that you can call at any time of the day for any issue that you face. Besides, working parents also vouch for the safety of their children within such gated communities. The only discomfort faced by people living in apartments is the lack of privacy and space.
The choice of living in a house or in an apartment depends on factors such as availability, rental costs and need and hence a particular style of living cannot be deemed to be the better than the other.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Unnatural phrase Original: the lacking of space Suggested revision: a lack of space Why it matters: Use the natural collocation “a lack of space”.
- 2. Plural agreement Original: both these style Suggested revision: both these styles Why it matters: “Both” requires a plural noun.
- 3. Formal time phrase Original: Till a few decades back Suggested revision: Until a few decades ago Why it matters: This is more standard in formal writing.
- 4. More precise phrase Original: large garden Suggested revision: spacious garden Why it matters: This better matches the idea of extra room.
- 5. Natural expression Original: as per their convenience Suggested revision: according to their needs Why it matters: This is more idiomatic.
- 6. Agreement error Original: people living in an apartment does not Suggested revision: people living in apartments do not Why it matters: The plural subject “people” needs “do”.
- 7. Missing article Original: by society Suggested revision: by the housing society Why it matters: The intended meaning needs a clearer noun phrase.
- 8. Avoid second person Original: that you can call Suggested revision: that residents can call Why it matters: Formal essays should not address the reader as “you”.
- 9. Pronoun consistency Original: any issue that you face Suggested revision: any issue they face Why it matters: Keep pronouns consistent with “residents”.
- 10. Word choice Original: vouch for the safety Suggested revision: value the safety Why it matters: “Vouch for” means guarantee, not simply appreciate.
- 11. More precise noun Original: discomfort Suggested revision: drawback Why it matters: “Drawback” suits an advantages-disadvantages comparison.
- 12. Direct answer Original: cannot be deemed to be the better Suggested revision: cannot be deemed better Why it matters: The grammar should be cleaner and the judgement should be more direct.
Suggested Rewrites
- the lacking of space a lack of space
- both these style both these styles
- Till a few decades back Until a few decades ago
- large garden spacious garden
- as per their convenience according to their needs
- people living in an apartment does not people living in apartments do not
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay compares houses and apartments clearly, but the final judgement does not directly say whether houses have more advantages than disadvantages.
State a direct position in the introduction and conclusion, then make each body paragraph support that answer.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraphing is logical and progression is easy to follow, with only some mechanical linking and repeated contrast markers.
Use topic sentences that explicitly compare the two living options.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally suitable for housing, privacy, cost, and safety, but several collocations are awkward.
Use natural phrases such as lack of space, styles of living, housing society, and gated community.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a useful range of sentence forms, but agreement, articles, and plural nouns cause noticeable errors.
Check subject-verb agreement after plural subjects and edit noun phrases for correct articles.