Nowadays many young people leave home at an early age and live in a city. Why do you think they move to cities? Do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages for young people?
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Sample Response
A growing number of young people are leaving their hometowns and relocatinghave been leaving their hometowns to relocate to urban areas in recent years. In this essay, I will explain the possible reasons for this trend and argue that it hasand also argue that this trend has more advantages than disadvantagesdemerits.
One major reason for this trend is the availability of better job opportunities in citiesin the cities, where major companies and industries are locatedwith major companies and industries located there. In addition, cities offer better educational and training facilities, which can be essential for young people seeking to gainacquire the skills needed for successful careers. For example, each year after completing high schoolafter completing high school, each year thousands of students move to major cities for higher education.
Moving to a city can have many disadvantages for young people. One of the most significant challenges is the high cost of living in urban areas. The cost of accommodation, food, and transportation can be much higher in cities than in rural areas, making it difficult for young people on a limited budget. Additionally, living in a city can be isolating and overwhelming, with a fast-paced lifestyle and a lack of community cohesion.
However, despite these challenges, the advantages of moving to a city often outweigh the disadvantages. For example, young people living in cities have access to a wide range of educational and cultural activities, as well as entertainment optionseducational and cultural activities and entertainment options, including libraries, museums, art galleries, concerts, and theatres. They also have more opportunities to make new friends and build social connectionsmake new friends and social connections. Moreover, living in a city can provide valuable experiences that can help young people develophelp young people to develop important life skills such as independence, resilience, and adaptability.
In conclusion, while there are certainly challenges associated with leaving home to live in a city, it is clear that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages for many young people. Ultimately, many young peoplemany youths decide to move to a big city to pursue academic excellence and improve their career prospectssecure a better career.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response answers both questions directly, sustains a clear comparative position, and develops its reasons with relevant explanations and examples. Its main limitation is minor imprecision in a few expressions and some predictable signposting, rather than any significant weakness in coverage or control. The highest-priority improvement is to sharpen the comparison by explaining more explicitly why the cited advantages outweigh the acknowledged financial and social costs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are fully addressed through relevant, well-developed reasons, disadvantages, advantages, and a consistently maintained judgement.
Strengthen the evaluative depth by directly weighing the most important advantage against the principal disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are sequenced clearly in focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices supporting smooth progression throughout the argument.
Make transitions slightly less formulaic by linking the comparative logic between paragraphs more explicitly.
Lexical Resource
A wide and generally precise vocabulary conveys economic, educational, social, and personal-development ideas with only occasional awkwardness.
Refine isolated word choices, such as using disadvantages rather than demerits, to make the register consistently natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with sentences remaining clear and well controlled.
Polish the few densely coordinated sentences to achieve even greater concision and syntactic elegance.