The table below shows sales made by a coffee shop in an office building on a typical weekday.
Sample Response
The table shows a typical weekday’s sales of a coffee shop which is located in an office building. It is clear that people purchase more coffee and tea from this restaurant in the morning and evening while they opt for sandwiches during the lunchtime. Analysing the coffee shop’s sales report reveals that people purchase 265 cups of coffee and 110 cups of tea in the early morning and 200 cups of coffee and 75 cups of tea in the evening from this coffee shop. In the noontime, the number of sandwich sales quadruples than that in the early morning. The sales of this item in the evening is also far higher than of the 2.30 to 5.30 pm. Tea sale is highest in the morning, 110 cups, while the coffee sale is high both in the morning and in the evening. Pastries are sold more in the breakfast time amounting 275 which is more than thrice than the sales in the evening. Finally, people purchase 50 pieces of sandwiches in the early morning and the highest sales could be observed later in the morning till the lunchtime. The sale of sandwiches drops in the later parts of the day.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix sales preposition Original: of Suggested revision: at Why it matters: At correctly identifies the place where the sales occur.
- 2. Remove redundant wording Original: which is located Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The location is already clear from the following phrase.
- 3. Use the correct venue Original: this restaurant Suggested revision: this coffee shop Why it matters: The task describes a coffee shop rather than a restaurant.
- 4. Fix time expression Original: during the lunchtime Suggested revision: at lunchtime Why it matters: At lunchtime is the natural prepositional phrase.
- 5. Use the chart interval Original: In the noontime Suggested revision: Between 10:30 and 2:30 Why it matters: The exact interval is clearer and matches the table heading.
- 6. Fix multiplier form Original: quadruples than Suggested revision: is four times Why it matters: Four times is the correct structure for comparing 200 sandwiches with 50.
- 7. Fix agreement Original: is Suggested revision: are Why it matters: The plural subject sales requires are.
- 8. Complete the comparison Original: than of the 2.30 to 5.30 pm Suggested revision: than those from 2:30 to 5:30 p.m. Why it matters: Those supplies the plural comparison noun and from introduces the time range.
- 9. Use plural agreement Original: Tea sale is Suggested revision: Tea sales are Why it matters: Sales is the natural plural count noun for the number of cups sold.
- 10. Use plural sales Original: coffee sale is high Suggested revision: coffee sales are high Why it matters: The statement refers to sales figures, so the plural noun and verb are needed.
- 11. Fix time phrase Original: in the breakfast time Suggested revision: at breakfast time Why it matters: At is the correct preposition for this time expression.
- 12. Add required preposition Original: amounting 275 Suggested revision: amounting to 275 Why it matters: The verb amount requires to before a number.
Suggested Rewrites
- of at
- which is located Delete
- this restaurant this coffee shop
- during the lunchtime at lunchtime
- In the noontime Between 10:30 and 2:30
- quadruples than is four times
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response selects useful comparisons and accurately reports the main sales peaks, including the strong morning trade and lunchtime maximum for sandwiches. Its main limitation is presentation: the entire report forms one paragraph, while recurrent comparative and agreement errors make several sentences awkward. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the overview and details into separate paragraphs and express numerical comparisons with standard forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and several accurate figures identify the principal sales patterns, although the pastry pattern could be highlighted more systematically.
Compare all four products across the time slots and include pastries explicitly among the overview's main features.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence of observations is generally understandable, but the single unbroken paragraph and repeated returns to coffee, tea, and sandwiches weaken progression.
Use an introduction and overview followed by two grouped detail paragraphs, for example drinks first and food items second.
Lexical Resource
The response has adequate vocabulary for reporting sales, but phrases such as quadruples than, sold more, and thrice than are imprecise.
Use accurate comparison patterns such as four times as many, more than three times the figure, and sales peaked at.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms communicates the data, although agreement, article, and comparative-structure errors occur repeatedly.
Proofread subject-verb agreement and comparison grammar, using sales are and higher than those recorded in another period.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows sales made by a coffee shop in an office building on a typical weekday.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.