The table below shows the average band scores for students from different language groups taking the IELTS General Test in 2010.
Sample Response
The table illustrates the breakdown of scores for the IELTS General Test in 2010. It shows separate scores for all four modules (Listening, Reading, Writing and Speaking), together with the overall band scores for students from four different language groups around the world.
From an overall perspective, German speakers achieved the highest overall band score. Moreover, they scored the highest of all four language groups in three modules of the test (Listening, Writing, Speaking).
French speaking candidates scored the second highest overall score of 6.7 out of 9, closely followed by Malay and Indonesian speakers. Although French speakers did not do so well in the Reading, Speaking and Listening modules compared to Indonesian and Malay speakers, there was a significant difference in their grades for the Writing module. These grades were high relative to Indonesian and Malay candidates. Surprisingly, Malay speakers, who achieved the second lowest result overall, achieved the highest results of all four language groups for the Reading module.
As a final point, it is interesting to note that the scores for each module show that all students, on average, scored the highest marks for the Speaking module and the lowest marks for the Reading module.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name the measure Original: breakdown of scores Suggested revision: average band scores Why it matters: The table presents average band scores rather than a breakdown into score distributions.
- 2. Avoid unsupported scope Original: around the world Suggested revision: represented in the table Why it matters: The table identifies four language groups but does not establish worldwide coverage.
- 3. Use concise overview Original: From an overall perspective Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: The shorter transition conveys the overview function more directly.
- 4. Hyphenate compound adjective Original: French speaking Suggested revision: French-speaking Why it matters: The compound modifier before “candidates” requires a hyphen.
- 5. Correct French score Original: 7 Suggested revision: 5 Why it matters: The table gives French speakers an overall average of 6.5.
- 6. Use table terminology Original: grades for the Writing module Suggested revision: scores in the Writing module Why it matters: “Scores” is the precise term used for the numerical results in the table.
- 7. Clarify the reference Original: These grades Suggested revision: These writing scores Why it matters: Naming the module makes the reference clearer and avoids an imprecise demonstrative phrase.
- 8. Correct Malay ranking Original: second lowest result overall Suggested revision: second-highest overall score Why it matters: Malay speakers ranked second overall with 6.4, behind German speakers and ahead of French and Indonesian speakers.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: Although French speakers did not do so well in the Reading, Speaking and Listening modules compared to Indonesian and Malay speakers, there was a significant difference in their grades for the Writing module. Suggested revision: Although French speakers matched Indonesians in reading, matched Malays in speaking, and outscored Malays in listening, they trailed at least one other group in each of these modules and held a clearer advantage in writing. Why it matters: The original comparison misstates several ties and relative scores shown in the table.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: As a final point, it is interesting to note that the scores for each module show that all students, on average, scored the highest marks for the Speaking module and the lowest marks for the Reading module. Suggested revision: Speaking was the strongest module for all four groups, while reading was lowest for German and French speakers, joint-lowest with writing for Indonesians, and writing was lowest for Malays. Why it matters: Reading was not the sole weakest module for every language group.
Suggested Rewrites
- breakdown of scores average band scores
- around the world represented in the table
- From an overall perspective Overall
- French speaking French-speaking
- 7 5
- grades for the Writing module scores in the Writing module
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is well organised and uses varied, generally precise language to guide the reader through the table. However, several comparisons misreport the data: the French overall score is 6.5 rather than 6.7, French listening is not below both Asian groups, and Malay students' lowest module is Writing, not Reading. The priority is to verify every comparison against the table and build the overview around fully accurate cross-group and cross-module patterns.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies several important patterns and includes an overview, but multiple inaccurate figures and comparisons weaken task fulfilment.
Check each claim against the table, especially the French overall score and the lowest module for Malay candidates, before selecting the main trends.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organised into a clear progression with effective linking, although the final generalisation conflicts with the earlier observation about Malay reading scores.
Ensure the concluding comparison follows logically from the preceding details and does not contradict them.
Lexical Resource
A broad range of reporting vocabulary is used effectively, though phrases such as grades for module scores and did not do so well are somewhat imprecise.
Use consistently exact comparative language such as equalled, exceeded, and recorded the lowest score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied simple and complex sentence forms with strong control and only negligible grammatical lapses.
Maintain this accuracy while making long comparison sentences slightly more compact to sharpen their meaning.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the average band scores for students from different language groups taking the IELTS General Test in 2010.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.