The table below shows sales made by a coffee shop in an office building on a typical weekday.
Sample Response
The provided table displays the number of sales in a coffee shop, which is located in an office building. Information is categorized for 4 different items and 4 different 3-hour periods in the day. Overall, the best selling product in the shop is coffee. Coffee, along with tea and pastries, has the largest sales from 7.30 to 10.30 in the morning; while people prefer to buy sandwiches in lunchtime. In detail, about 800 cups of coffee are sold in a typical weekday, with a third (265) just in the first 3 hours. Sales of tea and pastries, at the same time, are 110 and 275, respectively. Additionally, it can be seen that people gradually buy less coffee and tea in lunchtime and even less between 2.30 and 5.30. However, the figures increase by the late evening to become 200 for coffee and 75 for tea. Sales of pastries decrease to just over one-third (95) between 10.30 and 2.30 after a flying start and finish the day with the number 80. Regarding sandwiches, sales in lunchtime (200) and late evening (110) are significantly larger than those of early morning (50) and afternoon (40).
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use table terminology Original: number of sales Suggested revision: sales figures Why it matters: “Sales figures” is the natural term for the values in the table.
- 2. Spell out number Original: 4 Suggested revision: four Why it matters: Small numbers are conventionally written as words in formal prose.
- 3. Tighten time phrase Original: 4 different 3-hour periods Suggested revision: four three-hour periods Why it matters: The revision removes repetition and uses the compound modifier correctly.
- 4. Hyphenate modifier Original: best selling Suggested revision: best-selling Why it matters: The compound adjective requires a hyphen before “product.”
- 5. Fix clause punctuation Original: morning; while Suggested revision: morning, while Why it matters: A semicolon should not separate a main clause from a dependent “while” clause.
- 6. Correct time preposition Original: in Suggested revision: at Why it matters: “At lunchtime” is the standard prepositional phrase.
- 7. Correct day preposition Original: in Suggested revision: on Why it matters: Days take the preposition “on.”
- 8. Name final period Original: increase by the late evening Suggested revision: rise in the final period Why it matters: The table gives a time slot rather than a general late-evening trend.
- 9. Use concise data phrasing Original: finish the day with the number 80 Suggested revision: end the day at 80 Why it matters: This states the final sales figure more directly.
- 10. Separate overview and details Suggested revision: Place the overview in its own paragraph, then group the detailed figures by product or time period. Why it matters: The single long paragraph currently blends the summary with all supporting data.
Suggested Rewrites
- number of sales sales figures
- 4 four
- 4 different 3-hour periods four three-hour periods
- best selling best-selling
- morning; while morning, while
- in at
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response gives a clear overview and supports it with well-selected, accurate figures for all four products and time periods, especially the contrast between morning sales and the lunchtime sandwich peak. The main limitation is presentation rather than coverage: the entire report is one paragraph and a few phrases are awkward or imprecise. Prioritize logical paragraphing and more natural expressions for sales totals and time periods.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview identifies the main product and time-pattern features, and the detailed figures are accurate and well selected across the table.
Refine the overview by explicitly contrasting the afternoon pastry rebound with the decline in coffee and tea.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses clearly from overview to product-specific detail, but the absence of paragraph breaks makes the report less easy to scan.
Separate the overview from two grouped detail paragraphs, such as drinks first and food items second.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of trend and comparison vocabulary, with only occasional awkward phrases such as 'number of sales' and 'in lunchtime'.
Use more natural combinations such as 'sales figures', 'at lunchtime' and 'ended the day at 80'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are generally well controlled and meaning remains clear, despite minor preposition and punctuation lapses.
Polish prepositions for time periods and avoid placing a semicolon before a dependent 'while' clause.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows sales made by a coffee shop in an office building on a typical weekday.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.