The table below shows sales made by a coffee shop in an office building on a typical weekday.
Sample Response
The given illustration presents data on the sales volume in a coffee shop on a weekend based on four different time-slots. As can be seen from the given table data, the shop sold four items - coffee, tea, pastries and sandwiches and the sales of these foods and drinks varied based on the time of the day but coffee sold exceeded the sales of any other item. It is obvious that early morning (7:3 am to 10.30 am) and evening (5.30 pm to 8:30 pm) are the time people preferred to have a cup of coffee as the 265 and 200 coffee sales in these two time-slots indicate. The restaurant sold around 800 cups of coffee which was almost 3 times higher than the tea sales in this very shop. Interestingly, demands for tea and coffee in the noon were far less. Besides, the highest pastry sale was in the early morning with 275 sale volume and this was the highest sale unit on this day. Sales volume of no other item on that day went beyond 275. Despite the high demand for pastries in the early morning, it decreased in other times of the day. Finally, sandwiches were bought more in the lunchtime than any other period of the day. 200 sandwiches were sold in the noon alone while the combined sale volume of it in the rest of the day was even less than that.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise reference Original: given table data Suggested revision: table Why it matters: The surrounding sentence already establishes that the data are given.
- 2. Introduce list correctly Original: four items - Suggested revision: four items: Why it matters: A colon, rather than a spaced hyphen, should introduce the complete list.
- 3. Use concise time phrase Original: the time of the day Suggested revision: the time of day Why it matters: The fixed expression does not require “the” before “day.”
- 4. Use sales noun Original: sold Suggested revision: sales Why it matters: The noun “sales” is needed as the subject of the comparison.
- 5. Use stated venue Original: The restaurant Suggested revision: The coffee shop Why it matters: The task identifies the business as a coffee shop, not a restaurant.
- 6. Give exact total Original: around 800 cups of coffee Suggested revision: 795 cups of coffee Why it matters: Adding 265, 185, 145 and 200 gives an exact total of 795.
- 7. Express multiplier correctly Original: 3 times higher than Suggested revision: nearly three times as high as Why it matters: Coffee sales of 795 were about 2.94 times tea sales of 270.
- 8. Remove unnecessary emphasis Original: this very shop Suggested revision: the same shop Why it matters: “Very” adds emphasis without contributing information.
- 9. Remove subjective marker Original: Interestingly, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: Task 1 reporting should present the table neutrally rather than label a result interesting.
- 10. Use singular demand Original: demands Suggested revision: demand Why it matters: “Demand” is uncountable when referring generally to demand for the two drinks.
- 11. Fix time and agreement Original: in the noon were Suggested revision: around midday was Why it matters: “Around midday” is the natural time phrase, and the singular subject requires “was.”
- 12. Compare demand naturally Original: far less Suggested revision: much lower Why it matters: “Lower” is the natural comparative adjective for demand.
Suggested Rewrites
- given table data table
- four items - four items:
- the time of the day the time of day
- sold sales
- The restaurant The coffee shop
- around 800 cups of coffee 795 cups of coffee
Why this response received Band 6.0
The report identifies the leading products and time periods effectively, and the coffee total, pastry peak, and lunchtime sandwich figure are mostly well selected. Its main limitations are that the table describes a weekday rather than a weekend and that sandwich sales outside lunchtime total 200, equal to the lunchtime figure rather than lower. Prioritise checking the task context and verifying every combined total before making comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and most key figures are accurate, but the day type is misstated and the combined sandwich comparison is incorrect.
Identify the setting as a typical weekday and add the non-lunchtime sandwich figures before comparing their combined total with 200.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses from an overview through coffee, tea, pastries, and sandwiches, though the single paragraph and long sentences weaken organisation.
Separate the overview and group beverage patterns in one detail paragraph and food patterns in another.
Lexical Resource
Some useful sales vocabulary is present, but repetitive and awkward phrases such as ‘sale volume’, ‘sale unit’, and ‘demands’ reduce naturalness.
Use standard expressions including ‘items sold’, ‘sales peaked at’, ‘demand was highest’, and ‘the total was’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence types is attempted, but agreement, articles, plural forms, comparison structures, and reference errors occur repeatedly.
Use clear count-noun subjects and revise long sentences so each figure has an unambiguous item and time period.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows sales made by a coffee shop in an office building on a typical weekday.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.