You were offered to join a company but for some reason, you can not join there. Write a letter to the HR Manager of the company. In your letter: - explain the reason why you are declining the offer - express your gratitude - explain why you like your current job so much
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing in response to the offer letter, you on behalf of the DesignCrowd, have mailed me recently. I would like to thank you for the chance to join your company as a System Analyst. Unfortunately, I am unable to accept the offer right now and would like you to consider me in the future. Before citing my reasons for not accepting the offer, I would first like to thank you for giving me such a great opportunity. Due to my personal commitment to my current employer, I cannot accept your offer. Kindly note that I joined my current employer a year ago and when I informed them that I am planning to leave, my manager arranged a face-to-face meeting and convinced me to continue with them for at least another year. I love the way this company treats its employee on top of the performance appraisal and a healthy work environment. Thus, considering his faith in me, it would be too early to change the job. I hope you will understand my reasons for continuing my current job, and please allow me to remain in your good books. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Ria Nagpal
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Separate the salutation Original: Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing Suggested revision: Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing Why it matters: A formal letter should begin its message on a new line after the salutation.
- 2. Use formal wording Original: chance Suggested revision: opportunity Why it matters: “Opportunity” is more appropriate than “chance” in formal employment correspondence.
- 3. Use formal time phrase Original: right now Suggested revision: at this time Why it matters: The replacement maintains a professional register.
- 4. Clarify future request Original: consider me in the future Suggested revision: consider me for future roles Why it matters: The replacement states precisely what future consideration means.
- 5. Use natural verb Original: Before citing my reasons Suggested revision: Before explaining my decision Why it matters: “Explain my decision” is more natural than “cite my reasons” in this letter.
- 6. Remove vague modifier Original: personal commitment to my current employer Suggested revision: commitment to my current employer Why it matters: The following explanation concerns a professional undertaking rather than a personal commitment.
- 7. Remove needless preface Original: Kindly note that Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The sentence can present the relevant employment context directly.
- 8. Maintain past sequence Original: am Suggested revision: was Why it matters: The plan existed when the writer informed the employer, so past continuous is required.
- 9. Use plural noun Original: employee Suggested revision: employees Why it matters: The general statement concerns the company's workforce, so “employees” should be plural.
- 10. Clarify the reference Original: considering his faith in me Suggested revision: considering my manager's confidence in me Why it matters: The replacement identifies who “his” refers to and uses a natural professional expression.
- 11. Fix job expression Original: change the job Suggested revision: change jobs Why it matters: English conventionally uses the plural expression “change jobs.”
- 12. Use natural phrasing Original: continuing my current job Suggested revision: staying in my current role Why it matters: The replacement expresses remaining with the present employer more naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
- chance opportunity
- right now at this time
- consider me in the future consider me for future roles
- Before citing my reasons Before explaining my decision
- personal commitment to my current employer commitment to my current employer
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter clearly declines the offer, expresses gratitude, and explains the decision to remain with a supportive current employer, while maintaining an appropriately formal tone. Its main limitations are repetitive thanks, single-block organisation, and several awkward or inaccurate expressions that reduce professional polish. Prioritise structuring the three requested points into focused paragraphs and expressing the current job’s attractions with more natural workplace language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear and all three bullet points are addressed with relevant reasons, although gratitude is repeated and the request to remain in good books sounds overly personal.
Develop the positive features of the current job more concretely while thanking the prospective employer once and leaving the door open professionally.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning follows a logical sequence, but the single dense block and repeated gratitude interrupt the progression.
Use separate paragraphs for appreciation and refusal, the reason for staying, and a concise professional closing.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient workplace vocabulary to explain the decision, but collocations such as mailed me, treats its employee, and remain in your good books are awkward.
Use sent me, treats its employees well, positive appraisal system, and consider me for future opportunities.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of structures is attempted, but comma placement, agreement, article use, and sentence construction errors recur.
Rewrite the opening as I am writing in response to the offer letter that you recently sent me and check plural agreement throughout.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You were offered to join a company but for some reason, you can not join there. Write a letter to the HR Manager of the company. In your letter:
- explain the reason why you are declining the offer
- express your gratitude
- explain why you like your current job so much
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.