You were offered to join a company but for some reason, you can not join there. Write a letter to the HR Manager of the company. In your letter: - explain the reason why you are declining the offer - express your gratitude - explain why you like your current job so much
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I would like to thank you for the opportunity to join your company. Regrettably, due to the prevailing situation in my present organisation, I cannot accept the offer right now. However, I am hoping to be a part of your company in the future. In my present organisation, I have recently been given a chance to manage an important long-term project and I think this is the right time to portray my capabilities to the company. It not only paves over my organisational development but also for my personal growth. At this juncture, bidding adieu to my present employer is not the right decision and I once again express my heartfelt gratitude for the belief you have in me and for giving me the offer. However, my current employer has recently requested me to carry on with them and I am grateful to them for the growth opportunity they have given me so far. I like the way this company manages big clients and the healthy work environment they offer. Please do consider my humble request and I am extremely sorry for declining the job offer. However, I would like to work with you in the coming days and I am hoping that you would consider me a potential employee sometime in the future. Yours faithfully, Prasadarao Talluri
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use direct future hope Original: I am hoping to be a part of your company Suggested revision: I hope to join your company Why it matters: The simple present construction is more direct and natural for a future hope.
- 2. Use professional collocation Original: portray Suggested revision: demonstrate Why it matters: 'Demonstrate capabilities' is the natural professional collocation.
- 3. Use suitable formal tone Original: bidding adieu Suggested revision: leaving Why it matters: 'Leaving' is formal and natural without sounding theatrical.
- 4. Use conditional form Original: is not the right decision Suggested revision: would not be the right decision Why it matters: The conditional form fits a decision the writer is currently considering.
- 5. Use natural gratitude phrase Original: the belief you have in me Suggested revision: the confidence you have shown in me Why it matters: The revised phrase expresses professional trust naturally.
- 6. Use offer collocation Original: for giving me the offer Suggested revision: for offering me the position Why it matters: 'Offer someone a position' is the standard employment collocation.
- 7. Use additive connector Original: However, my current employer Suggested revision: In addition, my current employer Why it matters: This sentence adds another reason rather than contrasting with the previous one.
- 8. Clarify employment meaning Original: carry on with them Suggested revision: remain with the organisation Why it matters: The revision clearly states that the employer asked the writer to stay.
- 9. Clarify development benefit Original: growth opportunity Suggested revision: opportunities for professional growth Why it matters: The plural phrase states the ongoing benefit naturally.
- 10. Fix company pronoun Original: they have given me so far Suggested revision: it has given me so far Why it matters: A singular organisation takes the pronoun 'it' and singular auxiliary 'has'.
- 11. Use professional adjective Original: big Suggested revision: major Why it matters: 'Major clients' is the appropriate formal business collocation.
- 12. Fix reference and verb Original: work environment they offer Suggested revision: work environment it provides Why it matters: The singular company takes 'it', and an employer provides a work environment.
Suggested Rewrites
- I am hoping to be a part of your company I hope to join your company
- portray demonstrate
- bidding adieu leaving
- is not the right decision would not be the right decision
- the belief you have in me the confidence you have shown in me
- for giving me the offer for offering me the position
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter clearly declines the offer, expresses sincere gratitude, and gives relevant, developed reasons for remaining with the current employer, while maintaining a consistently formal relationship with the recipient. Its main limitation is expression: several ornate or inaccurate word choices and repeated transitions make parts sound unnatural. Use simpler professional phrasing, clearer paragraphing, and more precise explanations of the current role and future interest.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are addressed in relevant detail, the decision is clear, and the courteous formal tone suits communication with an HR manager.
Clarify that the refusal is final for this offer and replace the vague closing request with a precise expression of future interest.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter follows a sensible sequence from gratitude and refusal to reasons and future intentions, but one-block presentation and repeated use of however weaken flow.
Use distinct paragraphs for the decision, current-job reasons, and closing, and vary transitions instead of repeatedly using however.
Lexical Resource
A reasonably broad formal vocabulary is evident, but several expressions are overly ornate or inaccurately combined, reducing naturalness.
Prefer precise professional phrases such as develop my capabilities, support my career growth, remain with my employer, and work with major clients.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence structures and remains easy to understand, though faulty parallelism and some pronoun and tense choices recur.
Correct the not only construction, maintain consistent company pronouns, and align verb forms when describing future possibilities.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You were offered to join a company but for some reason, you can not join there. Write a letter to the HR Manager of the company. In your letter:
- explain the reason why you are declining the offer
- express your gratitude
- explain why you like your current job so much
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.