You work as a part-time employee in a company. The company has recently posted an advertisement seeking a person for a full-time position. You want to apply for this full-time job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: - introduce yourself and explain why you are writing - express your interest in having this full-time job - explain why you think you are a suitable candidate for the post
Same question Compare all 2 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am John Vanbrugh, and I work as a part-time Accounting Executive for Rainbow Inc. Recently, I have seen an advertisement, posted on our company’s general notice board, which has asked for a full-time Audit Executive to join your team. I would like to apply for this post. In defence of my eligibility for this post, I would like to say that I have learned a great deal about the important short term and long term financial goals of our company after working for almost one year in my current role. Besides, I have also prepared some financial reports myself under the supervision of my senior Accounting Manager. And, as far as my educational qualifications are concerned, I have completed my Master’s degree in Economics with a good GPA. But, most importantly, I am already very much familiar with this company's culture to understand where my contributions are needed the most. So, I am confident that if you hire me for this position, based on my current role at your company and my qualifications, I surely would be able to render excellent service to the company. Yours faithfully, John Vanbrugh
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Address your manager directly Original: Dear Sir or Madam, Suggested revision: Dear Mr/Ms [Surname], Why it matters: A named salutation is more appropriate when writing to your own manager.
- 2. Use natural application wording Original: In defence of my eligibility Suggested revision: To demonstrate my suitability Why it matters: This phrase states the purpose more naturally in a job application.
- 3. Hyphenate compound adjectives Original: short term and long term Suggested revision: short-term and long-term Why it matters: Compound adjectives before a noun require hyphens here.
- 4. Use a natural job title Original: my senior Accounting Manager Suggested revision: my accounting manager Why it matters: The simpler lower-case job title is clearer and more natural in this context.
- 5. Make the transition concise Original: And, as far as my educational qualifications are concerned, Suggested revision: Regarding my qualifications, Why it matters: This concise transition connects the supporting point without unnecessary wording.
- 6. Correct article and capitalization Original: my Master’s degree Suggested revision: a master’s degree Why it matters: Use an indefinite article and lower case for a generic degree name.
- 7. Remove unnecessary intensifier Original: already very much familiar Suggested revision: already very familiar Why it matters: Removing “much” makes the phrase more natural and concise.
- 8. Fix the logical connection Original: to understand Suggested revision: and understand Why it matters: The conjunction correctly links familiarity with the resulting understanding.
- 9. Improve adverb placement Original: I surely would be able Suggested revision: I would certainly be able Why it matters: This modal and adverb order is more natural in formal English.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Recently, I have seen an advertisement, posted on our company’s general notice board, which has asked for a full-time Audit Executive to join your team. Suggested revision: I recently saw an advertisement on our company’s general notice board for a full-time Audit Executive to join your team. Why it matters: The rewrite fixes the tense and removes the faulty relative clause suggesting that an advertisement can ask for someone.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Sir or Madam, Dear Mr/Ms [Surname],
- In defence of my eligibility To demonstrate my suitability
- short term and long term short-term and long-term
- my senior Accounting Manager my accounting manager
- And, as far as my educational qualifications are concerned, Regarding my qualifications,
- my Master’s degree a master’s degree
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter’s strongest feature is its complete, purposeful coverage: it identifies the applicant, states the desired position, and supports suitability with relevant experience and qualifications. Its main limitation is that several formal-sounding phrases and connectors feel awkward or formulaic, while the single-block presentation weakens readability. The highest priority is to organise the case into clear paragraphs and express the applicant’s strengths in more natural, precise language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter clearly fulfils its purpose, covers all three bullet points, and develops suitability with relevant professional and educational evidence.
Make the expression of interest slightly more specific by stating why this particular full-time audit role is attractive.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas progress logically from purpose to experience, qualifications, and confidence, although the response is presented as one block and relies on conspicuous sentence-initial connectors.
Separate the purpose, supporting qualifications, and closing request into distinct paragraphs and use less mechanical transitions.
Lexical Resource
A good range of job-related vocabulary conveys precise meaning, but phrases such as ‘In defence of my eligibility’ and ‘render excellent service’ sound unnatural or overly formal.
Choose more idiomatic professional wording, such as ‘To support my application’ and ‘make a strong contribution to the company’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences are generally accurate and easy to follow, with only localised issues in punctuation, coordination, and phrasing.
Refine comma placement and avoid beginning successive sentences with coordinating conjunctions when a smoother complex structure would be clearer.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You work as a part-time employee in a company. The company has recently posted an advertisement seeking a person for a full-time position. You want to apply for this full-time job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:
- introduce yourself and explain why you are writing
- express your interest in having this full-time job
- explain why you think you are a suitable candidate for the post
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.