Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
These days, advertising has become increasingly pervasive in our daily lives. While some argue that advertising is successful at persuading us to buy things, others claim that we are no longer paying attention to it. In my opinion, advertisements are not as effective at influencing our purchasing decisions as they once were.
Proponents of the effectiveness of advertising argue that it wields significant persuasive power over consumers. Advertisements employ various techniques such as emotional appeals, celebrity endorsements, and catchy slogans to capture our attention and shape our perceptions of products or services. For instance, consider a television commercial that portrays a glamorous celebrity using a particular beauty product, leading consumers to associate the product with desirability and success. Moreover, advertising leverages psychological principles such as social proof and scarcity to create a sense of urgency and entice consumers to make immediate purchasing decisions.
On the other hand, the sheer volume of advertising that we are exposed to on a daily basis has led to a phenomenon known as "advertising fatigue". People are inundated with so many ads, that they have developed the ability to tune them out. According to a study conducted by Hubspot, over 90% of online ads are ignored, and the majority of people skip or ignore TV ads. With so many ads bombarding us constantly, it's no surprise that we have become desensitized to them. Secondly, consumers today are more sceptical of advertising claims than ever before. With the rise of social media, we are constantly bombarded with messages from people and companies trying to sell us something. As a result, people have become savvier about marketing tactics and are more likely to research products before making a purchase. Additionally, the rise of fake news and disinformation has made people warier about advertisers and their claims.
In conclusion, while advertising was once an effective way to influence consumers, the current climate of constant ads has led to a phenomenon of advertising fatigue. Consumers today are more likely to be sceptical of marketing claims and are more likely to research products before making a purchase. Therefore, in my opinion, advertisements are not as effective at persuading us to buy things as they once were.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Tighten expression Original: pervasive in our daily lives Suggested revision: pervasive throughout daily life Why it matters: The replacement is more concise while preserving the claim about advertising's reach.
- 2. Improve collocation Original: successful at persuading Suggested revision: effective in persuading Why it matters: Effective in persuading is a more natural academic collocation in this context.
- 3. Reduce wordiness Original: wields significant persuasive power over consumers Suggested revision: strongly influences consumers Why it matters: The replacement conveys the same idea without repeating the notion of persuasion.
- 4. Use direct verb Original: portrays Suggested revision: shows Why it matters: Shows is more direct and natural for describing the content of a commercial.
- 5. Use concise wording Original: make immediate purchasing decisions Suggested revision: make immediate purchases Why it matters: The shorter phrase preserves the meaning and avoids an unnecessarily abstract noun phrase.
- 6. Be concise Original: on a daily basis Suggested revision: daily Why it matters: Daily expresses the same frequency more economically.
- 7. Remove incorrect comma Original: ads, that Suggested revision: ads that Why it matters: A comma should not separate the noun from the restrictive clause beginning with that.
- 8. Fix sequence marker Original: Secondly Suggested revision: Furthermore Why it matters: Secondly implies a preceding first point, while Furthermore accurately adds another related reason.
- 9. Improve preposition Original: warier about advertisers and their claims Suggested revision: warier of advertisers' claims Why it matters: Wary of is the standard collocation and the possessive form makes the target of scepticism precise.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Consumers today are more likely to be sceptical of marketing claims and are more likely to research products before making a purchase. Suggested revision: Consumers today tend to be sceptical of marketing claims and are therefore more likely to research products before making a purchase. Why it matters: The revision removes the repeated phrase and makes the relationship between scepticism and research clearer.
Suggested Rewrites
- pervasive in our daily lives pervasive throughout daily life
- successful at persuading effective in persuading
- wields significant persuasive power over consumers strongly influences consumers
- portrays shows
- make immediate purchasing decisions make immediate purchases
- on a daily basis daily
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay addresses both views directly, maintains a clear opinion, and supports its discussion with relevant mechanisms and examples. Its main limitation is some repetition in the discussion of advertising saturation and consumer scepticism, which makes the second body paragraph less economical. The highest-priority improvement is to consolidate overlapping points and use the saved space to compare the two views more explicitly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are well developed, the writer's opinion is explicit throughout, and supporting explanations are relevant and substantial.
Make the evaluation even sharper by directly comparing when advertising remains persuasive with the conditions that cause audiences to ignore it.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has clear progression and effective paragraphing, although the longer counterargument paragraph contains some repeated reasoning.
Group advertising fatigue and consumer scepticism into more distinct sub-points and remove repeated references to constant exposure.
Lexical Resource
A broad and precise academic vocabulary conveys the argument effectively, including persuasive power, social proof, desensitized, and disinformation.
Reduce lexical repetition around bombarding, scepticism, and purchasing decisions by varying or consolidating closely related statements.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used flexibly and accurately, with only occasional minor punctuation issues that do not affect clarity.
Remove unnecessary commas, particularly between a main clause and its result clause, to polish otherwise strong grammatical control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.