Some people believe that air travel should be restricted because it causes serious pollution and uses up the world's fuel resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Air travel has become highly popular and it can easily bee understood if we only look at the upcoming and departed number of flights in a busy aviation. Since the air travel saves a great deal of time, most of the business persons today chose air travel prior to any other root. Travelling through the air has many advantages as well as many disadvantages. In my opinion, important air travel should not be restricted but when the air travel becomes a mean of luxury then it must be restricted.
At first, no other route can take a business person so fast that an air transport can and people, especially opulent business executives use this route to reach the destination fast. Then, travelling to a far destination or a distant country, air transportation system is a must. For instance, travelling from India to the USA is quite impossible through road, ship or in any other vehicle and people in these cases have no alternative than to using an airway.
But nowadays it has become a fashion for people to use airways even for a very short distance. Air transportation systems are using a large portion of world's reserve fuel and affecting the environment by polluting it. So restriction should be applied in these cases. For example: if a destination takes only 2-4 hours in road then the idea of travelling through air is pointless and highly extravagant. A government should apply strict rules so that an aviation company can distinguish a true business executive and a tourist and give the business person the option to travel through the air and encourage the tourist to take an alternative route.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the spelling Original: bee Suggested revision: be Why it matters: The infinitive of be has one e.
- 2. Name flight movements Original: upcoming and departed number of flights Suggested revision: numbers of arriving and departing flights Why it matters: Arriving and departing are the appropriate terms, and separate flight movements require the plural numbers.
- 3. Name the location Original: in a busy aviation Suggested revision: at a busy airport Why it matters: Aviation is an industry, whereas an airport is the place where flights arrive and depart.
- 4. Remove the article Original: Since the air travel saves Suggested revision: Since air travel saves Why it matters: Air travel is an uncountable general activity and does not take the here.
- 5. Use natural plural noun Original: business persons Suggested revision: businesspeople Why it matters: Businesspeople is the standard gender-neutral plural term.
- 6. Use present tense Original: chose Suggested revision: choose Why it matters: The sentence describes a current general preference, so the present tense is required.
- 7. Correct route wording Original: prior to any other root Suggested revision: over any other route Why it matters: Over expresses preference, and route is the correct spelling for a travel path.
- 8. Use essential travel Original: important Suggested revision: essential Why it matters: Essential precisely describes travel considered necessary rather than merely important.
- 9. Remove the article Original: the air travel becomes Suggested revision: air travel becomes Why it matters: Air travel is uncountable when used generally.
- 10. Use luxury noun Original: a mean of luxury Suggested revision: a luxury Why it matters: A mean is incorrect here; the intended idea is that flying becomes a luxury.
- 11. Use logical sequence Original: At first Suggested revision: First Why it matters: First introduces the first supporting point more directly than the time expression at first.
- 12. Fix comparison form Original: so fast that an air transport can Suggested revision: as quickly as air transport can Why it matters: Equal speed comparisons require the as...as structure.
Suggested Rewrites
- bee be
- upcoming and departed number of flights numbers of arriving and departing flights
- in a busy aviation at a busy airport
- Since the air travel saves Since air travel saves
- business persons businesspeople
- chose choose
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay presents a clear qualified position: essential long-distance travel should remain available, whereas avoidable short flights should be restricted. Its basic contrast and examples are easy to follow, but the proposed distinction between business executives and tourists is insufficiently justified and impractical, while frequent vocabulary and grammar errors weaken precision. Prioritise a fairer restriction principle based on journey distance or available alternatives, then correct recurring word-choice, agreement, and preposition errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear qualified stance is supported by relevant contrasts between necessary long-distance trips and avoidable short flights, but the proposed policy is only partly convincing.
Justify restrictions through distance and realistic transport alternatives rather than assuming business travel is inherently necessary and tourism is not.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses from its position to benefits and then restrictions, although some sentences are overloaded and the essay ends without a concise synthesis.
Add a brief concluding paragraph that restates the distance-based distinction and separates the final policy proposal from the example.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss transport and resources, but frequent spelling mistakes and inaccurate collocations make expression noticeably awkward.
Replace forms such as 'bee', 'root', 'busy aviation', 'a mean of luxury', and 'in road' with accurate transport vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex structures are attempted, but agreement, articles, infinitive patterns, comparison structures, and prepositions contain frequent errors.
Practise forms such as 'no alternative but to fly', 'a journey takes two hours by road', and 'air travel uses fuel'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that air travel should be restricted because it causes serious pollution and uses up the world's fuel resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.