With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Sample Response
The demand for natural resources, like oil and gas, has been increasing globally due to the rapid growth in population and industrialization. Therefore, many people argue that undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. I agree with this statement for several reasons.
Firstly, the opening up of undiscovered areas to access more resources would increase the global supply of important resources like fuel and gas, which would benefit the entire world. This increase in supply would lead to lower prices for consumers and help to reduce dependence on a few major oil-producing countries. For instance, the opening up of new oil and gas fields in the North Sea and the Gulf of Mexico has helped to stabilize global energy prices.
Secondly, the exploration of undiscovered areas would create job opportunities and boost local economies. The development of new oil and gas fields requires a wide range of professionals, including engineers, geologists, and technicians. These skilled workers are needed to conduct surveys, build infrastructure, and operate the facilities. In addition, the money generated from petroleum and gas production can be invested in the local economy, creating a multiplier effect on job creation.
Thirdly, the development of new technologies and techniques for petroleum and gas exploration would be necessary to access undiscovered areas. This would lead to innovation and advancements in the energy industry, which would benefit the entire world in the long term. For example, the hydraulic fracturing or "fracking" technique used to extract shale gas has been developed in recent years, opening up new sources of energy.
In conclusion, the opening up of undiscovered areas to access more resources is necessary to meet the growing global energy demand. It would not only increase the global supply of energy and stabilize prices but also create job opportunities and promote technological innovation. Therefore, I fully support the exploration of undiscovered areas for more natural resources.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use formal example phrase Original: natural resources, like oil and gas, Suggested revision: natural resources such as oil and gas Why it matters: Such as introduces examples more formally and avoids unnecessary commas.
- 2. Use concise collocation Original: rapid growth in population Suggested revision: rapid population growth Why it matters: Population growth is the standard and more concise collocation.
- 3. Name resources precisely Original: important resources like fuel and gas Suggested revision: important energy resources such as oil and gas Why it matters: Energy resources is more precise, and oil and gas are parallel examples.
- 4. Avoid repeated wording Original: would be necessary to access undiscovered areas Suggested revision: would be required to access these areas Why it matters: The revision is concise and avoids repeating undiscovered areas within the paragraph.
- 5. Use concise verb form Original: help to reduce dependence Suggested revision: help reduce dependence Why it matters: The bare infinitive after help is more concise and fully grammatical here.
- 6. Use precise process Original: the opening up of new oil and gas fields Suggested revision: the development of new oil and gas fields Why it matters: Fields are developed rather than opened up in this production context.
- 7. Use economic term Original: the money generated from petroleum and gas production Suggested revision: the revenue generated from oil and gas production Why it matters: Revenue is the precise term for income produced by commercial activity.
- 8. Avoid repetitive wording Original: creating a multiplier effect on job creation Suggested revision: further stimulating job creation Why it matters: The revision conveys the employment effect without the awkward repetition of create and creation.
- 9. Remove overlap Original: new technologies and techniques for petroleum and gas exploration Suggested revision: new petroleum and gas exploration technologies Why it matters: Technologies and techniques overlap in meaning, so one precise term is sufficient.
- 10. Reduce redundancy Original: advancements Suggested revision: advances Why it matters: Advances is the more concise noun for developments in an industry.
- 11. Set off alternative name Original: the hydraulic fracturing or "fracking" technique Suggested revision: the hydraulic-fracturing technique, or "fracking," Why it matters: Hyphenation and commas clearly mark the alternative name while retaining the following modifier.
- 12. Clarify purpose Original: for more natural resources Suggested revision: to obtain more natural resources Why it matters: The infinitive clearly expresses the purpose of the proposed exploration.
Suggested Rewrites
- natural resources, like oil and gas, natural resources such as oil and gas
- rapid growth in population rapid population growth
- important resources like fuel and gas important energy resources such as oil and gas
- would be necessary to access undiscovered areas would be required to access these areas
- help to reduce dependence help reduce dependence
- the opening up of new oil and gas fields the development of new oil and gas fields
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, well-developed case for exploration, with its links to supply, lower prices, employment, investment, and technological innovation forming a strong chain of reasoning. Its main limitation is that the environmental and social risks of opening untouched areas are not considered, making the extent of agreement less nuanced. Prioritise acknowledging ecological damage and explaining why safeguards or limited exploration would still justify the position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is fully supported by three well-developed economic and technological arguments with relevant examples.
Acknowledge environmental and community costs, then explain the conditions under which exploration would remain justified.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organised into focused paragraphs and progresses smoothly from supply to employment and innovation.
Link the three benefits through a cumulative argument so the conclusion synthesises rather than mainly lists them.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad, accurate, and appropriate for energy and economic development, with some noticeable repetition.
Vary repeated phrases such as 'undiscovered areas', 'access more resources', and 'benefit the entire world' where clarity permits.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only very minor lapses.
Maintain this strong control while trimming repeated relative clauses for slightly greater concision.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.