In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?
Sample Response
In recent years, cashless transactions have gained popularity, with many individuals opting for digital payments through cards or mobile apps. This trend raises the possibility that, in the future, physical cash may become obsolete, making digital payments the sole method of financial exchange. In my opinion, this scenario is highly probable due to rapid technological advancements and increasing convenience. However, some individuals may resist this change due to concerns over privacy and accessibility.
One key reason why a cashless society is likely to become a reality is the global shift towards digitalisation. Governments and financial institutions are actively promoting electronic transactions due to their efficiency and ability to reduce fraud. Furthermore, major economies are already witnessing a significant decline in cash usage, with countries like Sweden and China leading the way in digital payments. For example, in Sweden, only a small percentage of transactions involve cash, as most businesses prefer mobile and card payments. Given this trajectory, it is reasonable to expect that other nations will follow suit, eventually eliminating cash altogether.
Despite the convenience, some individuals may be reluctant to abandon physical currency. One major concern is privacy, as digital payments can be tracked, potentially compromising financial autonomy. Many people value cash transactions precisely because they offer anonymity. Additionally, some individuals, particularly the elderly and those without access to banking services, may struggle with adapting to digital systems. For instance, in rural areas of developing nations, where banking infrastructure is limited, cash remains the most practical and accessible means of conducting transactions.
In conclusion, the transition to a fully cashless society appears inevitable due to technological advancements and changing consumer habits. However, resistance will persist among those who prioritise financial privacy and those with limited access to digital and mobile banking.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural prepositions Original: through cards or mobile apps Suggested revision: by card or through mobile apps Why it matters: The revised prepositions form more natural collocations with these payment methods.
- 2. Simplify abstract wording Original: making digital payments the sole method of financial exchange Suggested revision: leaving digital payments as the only means of payment Why it matters: This version expresses the same idea more directly and naturally.
- 3. Improve probability phrasing Original: probable Suggested revision: likely Why it matters: “Highly likely” is a more natural way to describe the probability of a scenario.
- 4. Use concise wording Original: advancements Suggested revision: advances Why it matters: “Advances” conveys the meaning with less nominal weight.
- 5. Clarify the reference Original: increasing convenience Suggested revision: the growing convenience of digital payments Why it matters: Specifying what is becoming more convenient removes a vague reference.
- 6. Avoid wordiness Original: is likely to become a reality Suggested revision: is likely to emerge Why it matters: “Emerge” states the anticipated development more concisely.
- 7. Clarify the subject Original: due to their efficiency and ability to reduce fraud Suggested revision: because such transactions are efficient and can reduce fraud Why it matters: The explicit subject makes both stated benefits attach clearly to electronic transactions.
- 8. Use formal example marker Original: countries like Sweden and China Suggested revision: countries such as Sweden and China Why it matters: “Such as” introduces examples in a more formal academic register.
- 9. Clarify alternatives Original: and Suggested revision: or Why it matters: “Or” presents the two payment methods as alternatives rather than a combined method.
- 10. Use natural verb pattern Original: struggle with adapting Suggested revision: struggle to adapt Why it matters: The infinitive is the more concise and natural complement after “struggle.”
- 11. Remove category overlap Original: digital and mobile banking Suggested revision: digital banking Why it matters: Mobile banking is already a form of digital banking, so the shorter term avoids overlap.
Suggested Rewrites
- through cards or mobile apps by card or through mobile apps
- making digital payments the sole method of financial exchange leaving digital payments as the only means of payment
- probable likely
- advancements advances
- increasing convenience the growing convenience of digital payments
- is likely to become a reality is likely to emerge
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its complete, well-organized treatment of both questions, with a clear prediction and relevant explanations of privacy and access concerns. The main limitation is that some supporting claims remain broad and familiar rather than being examined in depth. Strengthen the argument by qualifying the prediction and explaining more precisely how the cited trends would lead to cash disappearing entirely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are fully addressed through a clear position, relevant reasons, and appropriately developed examples.
Qualify the claim that cash will disappear entirely and show more explicitly why current digital-payment trends make that outcome likely rather than merely possible.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically sequenced, clearly paragraphled, and cohesively connected without distracting overuse of linking devices.
Create slightly tighter links between each example and the precise claim it supports to sharpen the progression within body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A broad and precise vocabulary is used fluently, with effective collocations related to technology, privacy, finance, and accessibility.
Reduce repetition of terms such as “digital payments” and “cash” through occasional precise paraphrase while retaining clarity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response demonstrates varied complex sentence structures with consistently accurate grammar and punctuation.
Continue refining sentence rhythm by varying the openings of explanatory sentences, as grammatical accuracy is already highly controlled.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.