Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
There are arguments that individuals should be refrained from doing new things and must stick to traditional methods. However, some people are convinced that individuals need to venture into some noble experiences in life. In my opinion, I would argue that alterations in some activities and practices are essential to achieving progress and success. Primarily, it can never be denied that some people may become comfortable with the routine practices in life, which they are more accustomed. Clearly, people will not need to learn new things as they are already more cognizant about the activities that they habitually perform. For instance, in this modern era, the seniority group will find it confusing to read newspapers on an electronic tablet due to the fact that they are not aware of its new features and the proper operation of the gadget. For these reasons, the geriatric individuals do not need to learn the settings and the high technology applications as it will take them a long period of time to adapt this product of technology. However, it can be argued that the life of people will become more adventurous if they opt to new trends and experiences. As can be expected, the progress and success in life are often achieved when a person tries to explore new ideas and practices, which might be beneficial for the improvement of his or her life. To illustrate, a businessman, who have experienced failures in his or her business, will resort to new strategies in order to make the business more firms and highly profitable. This can be done by abandoning the old-fashioned styles and techniques while accepting the modern ways, which could make the people’s lives more favourable. The new idea, a new way of life and changes to the old way life often bring new opportunities to people and getting adapted to the changes is the primary means of survivals and advancement. In conclusion, there is a heated argument whether people must remain to the conservative ways of life or resort to modern trends. However, I personally believe that the ideology of success can be reached if people will embrace the new-fangled ways of living in the society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix refrain voice Original: should be refrained from doing Suggested revision: should refrain from doing Why it matters: Refrain is used actively when people choose not to do something.
- 2. Use intended adjective Original: noble Suggested revision: new Why it matters: New matches the contrast with familiar routines; noble changes the meaning.
- 3. Use concise change phrase Original: alterations in some activities and practices Suggested revision: changes in activities and practices Why it matters: Changes is clearer and more natural than alterations here.
- 4. Fix essential pattern Original: to Suggested revision: for Why it matters: Essential takes for before a gerund in this construction.
- 5. Use concise routine noun Original: the routine practices in life Suggested revision: their routines Why it matters: The concise possessive noun expresses familiar repeated practices.
- 6. Add required preposition Original: which they are more accustomed Suggested revision: to which they are accustomed Why it matters: Accustomed requires the preposition to.
- 7. Use familiar collocation Original: more cognizant about Suggested revision: more familiar with Why it matters: People are familiar with activities; cognizant normally takes of.
- 8. Name age group naturally Original: the seniority group Suggested revision: older people Why it matters: Seniority group is not a natural term for elderly readers.
- 9. Use concise cause linker Original: due to the fact that Suggested revision: because Why it matters: Because expresses the cause without unnecessary wording.
- 10. Use direct verb phrase Original: the proper operation of the gadget Suggested revision: how to operate the device Why it matters: The revision states the practical difficulty directly.
- 11. Use respectful general term Original: the geriatric individuals Suggested revision: older people Why it matters: Geriatric is clinical and unnatural for a general population group.
- 12. Add adapt preposition Original: adapt this product of technology Suggested revision: adapt to this technology Why it matters: Adapt requires to before the thing someone becomes accustomed to.
Suggested Rewrites
- should be refrained from doing should refrain from doing
- noble new
- alterations in some activities and practices changes in activities and practices
- to for
- the routine practices in life their routines
- which they are more accustomed to which they are accustomed
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response discusses both preferences, supports each with a relevant example, and maintains a clear view that embracing change promotes progress and success. Its main limitations are the complete absence of paragraphing and frequent unnatural vocabulary and grammar, which make several otherwise relevant ideas sound imprecise. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the two views and opinion into clear paragraphs, then express each argument with simpler, more accurate language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are developed with examples and the writer's preference is clear, although some claims about older people are overly absolute.
Acknowledge that familiarity may provide efficiency or security without implying that older people should avoid learning altogether.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses recognisably from routine to change and a conclusion, but presenting the entire essay as one paragraph weakens organisation.
Use separate introduction, same-routine, change, and conclusion paragraphs with focused topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad vocabulary, but frequent strained or inaccurate choices reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace terms such as noble experiences, seniority group, more firms, and means of survivals with direct, idiomatic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted, but agreement, preposition, article, plural, and conditional errors recur throughout.
Prioritise accurate clause patterns and subject-verb agreement, especially in relative clauses and conditional statements.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.