Some people think the main benefit of international cooperation is the protection of the environment, while others think that the main benefit lies in global business. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
International cooperation plays a crucial role in addressing global challenges, and opinions vary on its main benefits. While some argue that the primary advantage lies in the protection of the environment, others contend that it is in the realm of global trade and business. This essay will explore both perspectives and present an opinion that the main benefit of international collaboration is global businesses.
One viewpoint is that the main benefit of international cooperation is the protection of the environment. Global environmental issues, such as climate change, deforestation, and pollution, require collaborative efforts beyond national boundaries. Through international cooperation, countries can share knowledge, resources, and technologies to address these pressing challenges. For example, the Paris Agreement, a landmark international accord on climate change, demonstrates the significance of cooperation in mitigating the effects of global warming.
On the other hand, some argue that the primary benefit of international cooperation lies in the realm of world business. In an increasingly interconnected global economy, countries depend on each other for trade and investment opportunities. Cooperation among nations facilitates the removal of trade barriers, the establishment of fair regulations, and the promotion of economic growth. For instance, regional trade agreements, such as the European Union, have created a framework for member countries to engage in seamless trade, leading to economic prosperity and improved living standards.
In my opinion, world business is the most significant benefit of international cooperation. While international organisations emphasise environmental concerns that affect the well-being of the planet and all its inhabitants, a thriving global economy always get priority from such international organisations and collaborations and have a far-reaching impact on our lives.
In conclusion, international cooperation brings about various benefits and economic development and global trade and business seem like the most important benefits that it offers.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify the comparison Original: others contend that it is in the realm of global trade and business Suggested revision: others contend that the primary advantage lies in global trade and business Why it matters: The revision replaces the vague pronoun “it” with the specific subject being compared.
- 2. Use a direct stance verb Original: present an opinion that Suggested revision: argue that Why it matters: The direct verb states the essay’s position more concisely.
- 3. Use the uncountable noun Original: businesses Suggested revision: business Why it matters: “Business” is uncountable when referring to global commercial activity in general.
- 4. Use concise phrasing Original: collaborative efforts beyond national boundaries Suggested revision: collaboration across national boundaries Why it matters: The revised phrase expresses the same idea more directly and naturally.
- 5. Use standard terminology Original: the realm of world business Suggested revision: global business Why it matters: “Global business” is the conventional phrase and avoids the wordy “realm of” construction.
- 6. Use a plural reciprocal Original: countries depend on each other Suggested revision: countries depend on one another Why it matters: “One another” makes the relationship among multiple countries explicit.
- 7. Use concise wording Original: establishment Suggested revision: creation Why it matters: “Creation” is a more direct noun for introducing new regulations.
- 8. Use a direct phrase Original: engage in seamless trade Suggested revision: trade freely Why it matters: The direct verb phrase is clearer and less promotional than “seamless trade.”
- 9. Use consistent terminology Original: world Suggested revision: global Why it matters: “Global business” matches the terminology used in the task and elsewhere in the response.
- 10. Fix subject agreement Original: get Suggested revision: gets Why it matters: The singular subject “a thriving global economy” requires “gets.”
- 11. Match the singular subject Original: have Suggested revision: has Why it matters: The coordinated verb must agree with the singular subject “a thriving global economy.”
Suggested Rewrites
- others contend that it is in the realm of global trade and business others contend that the primary advantage lies in global trade and business
- present an opinion that argue that
- businesses business
- collaborative efforts beyond national boundaries collaboration across national boundaries
- the realm of world business global business
- countries depend on each other countries depend on one another
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, balanced coverage of both environmental and commercial benefits, supported by relevant international examples. Its main limitation is that the stated preference for business receives only brief and somewhat vague justification, while several awkward phrases and agreement errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop the personal view with a specific causal comparison explaining why economic cooperation outweighs environmental cooperation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views are addressed with relevant explanations and examples, and the preference for business remains clear, although its justification is comparatively thin.
Extend the opinion paragraph with a concrete comparison showing why commercial benefits are more significant than environmental ones.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through clearly separated viewpoints, an opinion, and a conclusion, with generally effective linking.
Strengthen the transition into the opinion paragraph so that it builds directly on and evaluates the two preceding arguments.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently varied academic vocabulary communicates the ideas clearly, despite some imprecise combinations such as ‘world business’ and ‘global businesses’.
Use more precise terms such as ‘international commerce’ or ‘cross-border trade’ and avoid repeating near-identical business expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is generally controlled, but agreement errors occur in the opinion and concluding paragraphs.
Check subject–verb agreement carefully in long sentences, especially with singular subjects such as ‘economy’ and plural subjects such as ‘benefits’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think the main benefit of international cooperation is the protection of the environment, while others think that the main benefit lies in global business. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.