Some people think computers and the Internet are important in children's study, but others think students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
How children study and learn today, both at home and school, are radically different from the past, and the increased availability and relatively low price of modern technology have been instrumental in this change. However, I feel that while modern technologies, such as computers and the Internet, are important in assisting a child's learning, this learning should be guided and directed by the experience of human teachers.
Proponents of technology in children's education say that technology can present knowledge in a vivid and novel way. They assert that computers and the Internet can enable students to enhance their general understanding of how to solve difficulties in their studies as well as give them vital skills for future life. With the technology, those children learn in a fun way and this learning is often more intuitive than the class lectures by the teachers.
On the contrary, traditional and long-established practice is for children to study and gain knowledge at school guided by teachers. Proponents of this method state that a school is a place where students gather to be educated and learn from each other, and taught by human educators which technology can not replace. At school, for instance, students' development is orchestrated stage by stage, step by step by experienced teachers, and their acquisition of knowledge is guided and backed up systematically.
In my opinion, technology can not teach children all by itself and it needs human intervention. The information shown to children has to be preprogrammed and needs constant updating by human teachers. This is why human teachers can teach students more effectively and they can use technology to teach even better.
To conclude, modern technologies can complement more traditional teaching and learning methods without being used as a replacement for traditional methods. It is expected that experienced teachers would teach children and use technology to better facilitate teaching and learning at schools.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix subject-verb agreement Original: are Suggested revision: is Why it matters: The singular subject is the clause beginning with “How,” so it takes “is.”
- 2. Use a direct modifier Original: by the experience of human teachers Suggested revision: by experienced human teachers Why it matters: The revised phrase expresses the same idea more directly and naturally.
- 3. Correct the collocation Original: general understanding of how to solve difficulties Suggested revision: ability to overcome difficulties Why it matters: People overcome difficulties rather than solve them, and “ability” fits the skill being described.
- 4. Clarify the parallel structure Original: as well as give them Suggested revision: while also giving them Why it matters: This structure clearly makes technology the agent that gives students the skills.
- 5. Remove unnecessary article Original: With the technology Suggested revision: With technology Why it matters: “Technology” is used generally here and does not take the definite article.
- 6. Avoid a distant reference Original: those children Suggested revision: children Why it matters: The demonstrative has no clear contrastive referent and makes the reference less natural.
- 7. Use a natural phrase Original: the class lectures by the teachers Suggested revision: teacher-led classroom lessons Why it matters: This phrase is more concise and idiomatic for lessons delivered by teachers.
- 8. Use accurate contrast Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: The paragraph presents an alternative view rather than directly disproving the previous claim.
- 9. Remove repetition Original: orchestrated stage by stage, step by step Suggested revision: structured step by step Why it matters: The revision avoids two repetitive sequencing phrases and uses a more natural educational verb.
- 10. Choose a precise verb Original: backed up systematically Suggested revision: systematically reinforced Why it matters: “Reinforced” is more precise for knowledge that teachers support over time.
- 11. Use natural collocations Original: increased availability and relatively low price Suggested revision: greater availability and relatively low cost Why it matters: “Greater availability” and “low cost” are more natural collocations for accessible technology.
- 12. Use a natural verb Original: assisting Suggested revision: supporting Why it matters: “Supporting learning” is the more natural collocation in an educational context.
Suggested Rewrites
- are is
- by the experience of human teachers by experienced human teachers
- general understanding of how to solve difficulties ability to overcome difficulties
- as well as give them while also giving them
- With the technology With technology
- those children children
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay presents a clear position, discusses both perspectives in a balanced structure, and uses a broad academic vocabulary to explain how technology and teachers can complement one another. Some supporting claims remain general, and several awkward grammatical constructions interrupt an otherwise fluent argument; the highest-priority improvement is to develop each view with a more concrete illustration while simplifying inaccurate sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the writer's preference for teacher-guided technology is clear and consistently maintained.
Support the benefits claimed for each approach with a specific classroom or learning example rather than relying mainly on general assertions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with the position reinforced effectively in the final sections.
Use contrast transitions more precisely and reduce repeated references to teachers and technology within adjacent sentences.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a wide academic vocabulary, including generally effective choices such as 'instrumental', 'orchestrated', and 'facilitate'.
Refine awkward collocations such as 'solve difficulties in their studies' and 'class lectures by the teachers' for greater naturalness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is attempted successfully, although agreement, coordination, and relative-clause errors recur in several sentences.
Review the grammatical subject and clause links in long sentences, especially constructions such as 'educators which technology can not replace'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think computers and the Internet are important in children's study, but others think students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.