Some people think computers and the Internet are important in children's study, but others think students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The fast growth of technology has given rise to the debate of whether computers and the Internet are more beneficial than traditional methods of learning, such as classrooms and teachers. In this essay, I will discuss both viewpoints. But personally, I believe that while conventional methods of learning are important, modern technology can enhance students' learning experience to a great extent.
Some people believe that computers and the Internet are important tools in children's education. They argue that modern technology has made learning more interactive and efficient. For example, educational software and online platforms can provide a wide range of resources, such as videos, quizzes, and simulations, which can help students better understand complex concepts.
On the other hand, some people argue that students learn better in traditional classrooms with teachers. They argue that face-to-face interactions between teachers and students can provide immediate feedback and personalized attention to individual students. Additionally, traditional methods of learning can provide a more structured environment that can help students stay on track and develop self-discipline.
In my opinion, while traditional methods of learning are important, computers and Internet technology can definitely enhance students' learning experience. The ability to access a vast amount of information and resources, along with the interactive nature of modern educational technology, can help students develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills. Furthermore, the use of technology can better prepare students for the demands of the modern workforce, where technology skills are becoming increasingly important.
In conclusion, while traditional classrooms and teachers play an important role in education, computers and the Internet are valuable tools that can enhance students' learning experiences. It is expected that we will use those technologies to improve our teaching and learning methods but not use technology as a replacement for traditional learning methods.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: The fast growth of technology Suggested revision: The rapid development of technology Why it matters: “Rapid development” is a more natural academic collocation for technological change.
- 2. Use correct preposition Original: of Suggested revision: over Why it matters: “Debate over whether” is the more idiomatic construction.
- 3. Name learning methods Original: such as classrooms and teachers Suggested revision: such as classroom instruction and teacher guidance Why it matters: The revision compares technology with methods of learning rather than with places and people.
- 4. Use smoother transition Original: But personally, I believe Suggested revision: Personally, I believe Why it matters: Removing the coordinating conjunction gives the formal position statement a smoother transition.
- 5. Prefer concise wording Original: viewpoints Suggested revision: views Why it matters: “Both views” is the more concise and natural reference to the two positions.
- 6. Use measured emphasis Original: definitely Suggested revision: substantially Why it matters: “Substantially” expresses degree more precisely in formal academic writing.
- 7. Use precise adjective Original: technology Suggested revision: technological Why it matters: “Technological” is the standard adjective for skills related to technology.
- 8. Use a direct reference Original: those Suggested revision: these Why it matters: “These” refers more directly to the technologies just discussed.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: It is expected that we will use those technologies to improve our teaching and learning methods but not use technology as a replacement for traditional learning methods. Suggested revision: We should use these technologies to improve teaching and learning methods rather than as a replacement for traditional methods. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the unclear passive opening and restores parallel structure around “rather than.”
- 10. Reduce position repetition Suggested revision: Move directly from the stated opinion to the two supporting benefits, avoiding repetition of the introduction. Why it matters: A more direct progression would make the opinion paragraph less repetitive and more cohesive.
Suggested Rewrites
- The fast growth of technology The rapid development of technology
- of over
- such as classrooms and teachers such as classroom instruction and teacher guidance
- But personally, I believe Personally, I believe
- viewpoints views
- definitely substantially
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay addresses both views evenly, maintains a clear position, and develops each side through relevant explanations of resources, interaction, structure, and future skills. Its main limitation is that some support remains broad and predictable rather than closely illustrated or critically developed. The highest-priority improvement is to deepen one key comparison with a concrete example showing when technology complements teacher-led learning most effectively.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views and the writer's opinion are directly addressed with relevant, well-developed reasons throughout.
Add a specific educational scenario that tests the strengths and limits of each approach rather than relying mainly on general claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced, clearly paragraphed, and cohesively connected with minimal strain for the reader.
Refine the progression further by making the final body paragraph explicitly synthesise the two views instead of largely restating technology's benefits.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, appropriate, and generally precise, with effective education-related expressions and only minor repetition.
Replace repeated terms such as "learning experience" and "traditional methods" with precise alternatives where doing so improves nuance.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, and the few minor lapses do not impede communication.
Polish article use and noun phrasing in expressions such as references to Internet technology to make an already strong performance more idiomatic.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think computers and the Internet are important in children's study, but others think students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.