Tourism today creates a variety of problems, such as pollution due to flights, traffic congestion and water pollution. Some people think that governments should impose extra taxes on flights and accommodation to restrict today’s tourism industry. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this proposal?

Same question Compare 2 different answers

Sample Response

Nowadays, environmental issues caused both by tourists and tourism-related activities have become so grave that many people insist on imposing hefty taxes on air travel and hotels for the sake of restricting the tourist inflow. I, however, disagree with this notion and believe that the authority should find better measures to address this rather than limiting the tourism industry with the burden of extra tax. The key reason why I believe that governments ought to avoid levying more taxes on flights and accommodations is that tourism creates employment for local people and makes economic movements in the region. It also brings significant foreign remittance to the country. Many countries, St. Lucia, Maldives and Thailand, for example, heavily depend on the steady earnings of their tourism sector. It also makes people tolerant of different cultures and lets them learn about diverse cultures and traditions. If more taxes are imposed on the movement and accommodation of tourists, it would bring catastrophic results for many countries. Therefore, measures which would entail a decline in tourists should not be implemented. To control pollution and excessive wastage, authorities can employ workers to clean their surroundings while instructing visitors not to pollute the environment. Policies to improve the manners of tourists should be implemented as well. Improving public buses and dedicating transport to foreign tourists can reduce traffic congestion to a great extent. Moreover, scientific research and engineering feats can reduce the pollution created by vehicles and aeroplanes, and money should be spent on such research works. These solutions would improve the situation on the one hand, and not deprive citizens of jobs and economic freedom on the other hand. To conclude, extra levies on tourist transportation and accommodation will limit the inflow of tourists, putting local citizens' livelihoods at risk, especially in tourism-dependant countries. It is expected that the authorities would find better solutions that try to control pollution created by tourists’ actions in travel destinations instead of reducing their number.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Place both correctly Original: issues caused both by tourists and tourism-related activities Suggested revision: issues caused by both tourists and tourism-related activities Why it matters: In the correlative structure, 'both' should immediately precede the two coordinated causes.
  • 2. State the purpose directly Original: for the sake of restricting the tourist inflow Suggested revision: to restrict tourist numbers Why it matters: The replacement removes wordiness and uses a natural expression for reducing arrivals.
  • 3. Use the plural general noun Original: authority Suggested revision: authorities Why it matters: A general reference to government decision-makers requires the plural 'authorities'.
  • 4. Clarify the reference Original: address this rather than Suggested revision: address these problems rather than Why it matters: The plural noun clearly refers back to the environmental issues.
  • 5. Use a natural verb phrase Original: limiting the tourism industry with the burden of extra tax Suggested revision: burdening the tourism industry with extra taxes Why it matters: The revision uses the correct collocation and a plural noun for multiple additional levies.
  • 6. Use uncountable accommodation Original: accommodations Suggested revision: accommodation Why it matters: 'Accommodation' is uncountable when referring generally to places where tourists stay.
  • 7. Use an economic collocation Original: makes economic movements in the region Suggested revision: stimulates economic activity in the region Why it matters: 'Economic activity' is the standard term for commerce and employment generated locally.
  • 8. Use the correct revenue term Original: significant foreign remittance Suggested revision: significant foreign-currency revenue Why it matters: Tourist spending generates foreign-currency revenue rather than remittance.
  • 9. Match the plural context Original: to the country Suggested revision: to their countries Why it matters: The discussion concerns many countries, so the plural possessive is clearer.
  • 10. Introduce examples correctly Original: Many countries, St. Lucia, Maldives and Thailand, for example Suggested revision: Many countries, including St. Lucia, the Maldives, and Thailand Why it matters: 'Including' integrates the examples correctly, and 'the Maldives' requires its article.
  • 11. Use a natural causal phrase Original: makes people tolerant of different cultures Suggested revision: encourages tolerance of different cultures Why it matters: The noun phrase expresses the social effect more naturally.
  • 12. Match the hypothetical result Original: are Suggested revision: were Why it matters: The hypothetical consequence with 'would' requires the past form in the conditional clause.

Suggested Rewrites

  • issues caused both by tourists and tourism-related activities issues caused by both tourists and tourism-related activities
  • for the sake of restricting the tourist inflow to restrict tourist numbers
  • authority authorities
  • address this rather than address these problems rather than
  • limiting the tourism industry with the burden of extra tax burdening the tourism industry with extra taxes
  • accommodations accommodation
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response maintains a clear opposition to extra tourism taxes and supports it with relevant economic consequences and several alternative environmental measures. Its main limitation is that the entire argument appears in one paragraph and some proposed solutions remain vague or awkwardly expressed; the priority is to separate the economic case from the alternatives and explain one practical pollution-control policy in precise detail.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

7.5
Scoring rule

A clear position is supported with relevant economic impacts, country examples, and several alternatives to taxation, though some solutions are only briefly explained.

Next step

Select one strong alternative policy and show concretely how it would reduce pollution without significantly reducing tourist numbers.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The reasoning follows a logical movement from economic objections to alternative solutions and a conclusion, but the single paragraph seriously weakens organisation.

Next step

Use separate paragraphs for the economic case, proposed environmental measures, and final judgement, each with a focused topic sentence.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.5
Scoring rule

The response shows good topical range, but recurrent inaccurate collocations and one spelling error reduce precision.

Next step

Use natural phrases such as stimulate the local economy, foreign-exchange earnings, tourist behaviour, technical innovation, and tourism-dependent countries.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0
Scoring rule

Varied complex structures are generally clear and accurate, despite occasional conditional, parallelism, and article errors.

Next step

Maintain consistent conditional forms and check parallel structures when contrasting environmental gains with economic protection.

Put the feedback to work

Write this task while it is fresh

Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.

IELTS Writing Task 2

Tourism today creates a variety of problems, such as pollution due to flights, traffic congestion and water pollution. Some people think that governments should impose extra taxes on flights and accommodation to restrict today’s tourism industry. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this proposal?

Your response

Words0
40:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.