In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main type of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In recent years, plastic shopping bags have become a major environmental concern in many countries due to their widespread use and improper disposal. These bags significantly contribute to water and land pollution, adversely affecting ecosystems and human health. I strongly agree that plastic shopping bags should be banned to mitigate their detrimental impact on the environment.
One of the most compelling reasons for banning plastic bags is their contribution to land and water pollution. Plastic bags are not biodegradable and can persist in the environment for hundreds of years. When improperly discarded, they often end up clogging drainage systems, littering streets, or being swept into rivers and oceans. For example, numerous reports have shown that marine animals often mistake plastic bags for food, leading to ingestion, suffocation, and death. Banning these bags would significantly reduce plastic pollution, thereby protecting wildlife and preserving ecosystems.
Another reason for prohibiting plastic shopping bags is their harmful impact on human health. As plastic bags break down, they release microplastics that contaminate soil and water sources. These microplastics can enter the food chain when ingested by aquatic organisms, eventually reaching humans. Studies have found that microplastics can pose serious health risks, including hormonal disruption and potential carcinogenic effects. By eliminating plastic bags, countries can reduce the prevalence of microplastic pollution and promote public health.
In conclusion, banning plastic shopping bags is a necessary step to address environmental pollution and safeguard public health. Although they may be cheap and offer short-term convenience, the long-term consequences of plastic waste are catastrophic. Therefore, it is essential for governments to implement strict regulations on plastic bag usage and encourage the adoption of sustainable alternatives.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a concise plural phrase Original: detrimental impact Suggested revision: harmful effects Why it matters: The plural phrase fits the several environmental consequences mentioned.
- 2. Avoid an absolute frequency Original: often Suggested revision: may Why it matters: 'May' makes the general possibility appropriately measured.
- 3. Vary repeated impact language Original: impact Suggested revision: effects Why it matters: This avoids repeating 'impact' while preserving the meaning.
- 4. Make the phrase concise Original: the prevalence of microplastic pollution Suggested revision: microplastic pollution Why it matters: The abstract noun 'prevalence' adds no necessary meaning here.
- 5. Use balanced formal wording Original: cheap and offer short-term convenience Suggested revision: inexpensive and convenient in the short term Why it matters: The revision creates a parallel and more formal description.
- 6. Use measured emphasis Original: catastrophic Suggested revision: severe Why it matters: The essay supports serious consequences, but this less absolute adjective is more proportionate.
- 7. Use a natural noun phrase Original: plastic bag usage Suggested revision: the use of plastic bags Why it matters: This phrasing is more natural in formal prose.
- 8. Place the adverb naturally Original: significantly contribute Suggested revision: contribute substantially Why it matters: The post-verbal adverb produces a smoother formal collocation.
- 9. Make the topic sentence concise Original: One of the most compelling reasons Suggested revision: A compelling reason Why it matters: The shorter phrase preserves the emphasis without an unnecessary superlative structure.
- 10. Express longevity concisely Original: can persist in the environment for hundreds of years Suggested revision: can remain in the environment for centuries Why it matters: This is a concise equivalent that avoids repeating 'years' after the broad time claim.
- 11. Use concise evidence wording Original: numerous reports have shown that Suggested revision: evidence indicates that Why it matters: This avoids a vague reference to an unspecified number of reports.
- 12. Clarify the result sequence Original: leading to ingestion, suffocation, and death Suggested revision: leading them to ingest the bags, suffocate or die Why it matters: The revision identifies who experiences each consequence and makes the list structurally parallel.
Suggested Rewrites
- detrimental impact harmful effects
- often may
- impact effects
- the prevalence of microplastic pollution microplastic pollution
- cheap and offer short-term convenience inexpensive and convenient in the short term
- catastrophic severe
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear position, focused paragraphing, and well-developed explanation of environmental and health consequences. Its main limitation is that some support relies on broad claims about reports and health risks without much qualification or concrete evidence. The highest-priority improvement is to substantiate or cautiously frame these claims while preserving the essay’s precise organisation and controlled academic style.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay fully addresses the question with a consistent position and two relevant, well-extended reasons.
Strengthen the support further by qualifying broad scientific claims or using a more specific piece of evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through a clear introduction, focused body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion with well-managed cohesion.
Refine cohesion by reducing minor lexical repetition where the referent remains unmistakable.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise academic vocabulary is used flexibly to describe pollution, ecological harm, and public health.
Maintain this range while choosing slightly more measured wording for claims such as “catastrophic” or “serious health risks” when evidence is general.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex structures is used accurately, with sentences consistently clear and virtually error-free.
Continue proofreading for the rare opportunity to streamline dense noun phrases without sacrificing precision.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main type of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.