Tourism today creates a variety of problems, such as pollution due to flights, traffic congestion and water pollution. Some people think that governments should impose extra taxes on flights and accommodation to restrict today’s tourism industry. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this proposal?
Sample Response
Tourism, no doubt, is important for many countries for several reasons, including its economic, social and cultural benefits. But, at the same time, we can not deny that tourism, if left unregulated, creates problems. This is why I agree that governments should intervene to mitigate some of these issues by imposing extra taxes on flights and accommodation.
To begin with, tourism, one of the 10th largest industries in the world, is important for many countries. But, it becomes worrisome when it puts some undue pressure on natural resources through over-consumption, especially, in places where resources, infrastructure and facilities are already scarce. To reduce the overconsumption of resources, the government's initiatives to impose extra taxes could work like magic. Here we can specifically mention the small island countries, like Cyprus and Malta, which struggle to accommodate a large number of tourists. Hefty taxes seems like their only solution.
Not to mention, of course, the air and water pollution, among other negative effects, that are caused by the massive tourist transportation activities, both in air and sea, could also be controlled by imposing a travel tax. With more than a billion people travelling each year, the government needs regulations to keep the activity in check to minimise its negative effects. One way to effectively do that is to impose extra charges and taxes on accommodations and travel. Some European countries have already implemented policies to protect their tourist destinations, in quiet, non-offensive ways, by controlling the number of hotel beds, the number of flights to and from a country, and the number of tour buses allowed. No doubt, these are some good steps to control the flow of tourists, but they would yield even better results if these initiatives are supported by a tax increase on things like flights and hotel accommodation.
To conclude, tourism is important but too many tourists and their uncontrolled movement can have negative consequences. So the government should levy taxes on their accommodation and travel to keep a check on the number of tourists, and this can be a great step towards saving the tourist's destinations and the world.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix transition punctuation Original: But, at the same time Suggested revision: At the same time Why it matters: “But” is unnecessary after the preceding contrast, and it should not be followed by this comma pattern.
- 2. Use one-word form Original: we can not deny Suggested revision: we cannot deny Why it matters: The standard negative form of “can” is written as one word.
- 3. Fix ranking phrase Original: 10th Suggested revision: ten Why it matters: “One of” takes a cardinal number in this construction, not the ordinal “10th.”
- 4. Use formal contrast Original: But, it becomes worrisome Suggested revision: However, it becomes concerning Why it matters: “However” forms a clearer sentence transition, and “concerning” is more natural here.
- 5. Remove unnecessary quantifier Original: some undue pressure Suggested revision: undue pressure Why it matters: “Pressure” is uncountable here, and “undue” already specifies its excessive nature.
- 6. Remove misplaced comma Original: especially, in places Suggested revision: especially in places Why it matters: No comma should separate “especially” from the prepositional phrase it modifies.
- 7. Use general plural Original: the government's initiatives Suggested revision: government initiatives Why it matters: The essay discusses governments generally, so an attributive plural concept is more appropriate.
- 8. Use measured wording Original: could work like magic Suggested revision: could be effective Why it matters: The revision avoids an informal exaggeration and states the expected result directly.
- 9. Use formal example phrase Original: the small island countries, like Suggested revision: small island countries such as Why it matters: “Such as” introduces named examples more formally, and the article is unnecessary.
- 10. Fix subject agreement Original: seems Suggested revision: seem Why it matters: The plural subject “taxes” requires the plural verb “seem.”
- 11. Use plural government Original: the government needs regulations Suggested revision: governments need regulations Why it matters: The claim concerns multiple countries, so both the subject and verb should be plural.
- 12. Use precise verb Original: keep the activity in check Suggested revision: regulate this activity Why it matters: The direct verb is more concise and clearly refers to tourist travel.
Suggested Rewrites
- But, at the same time At the same time
- we can not deny we cannot deny
- 10th ten
- But, it becomes worrisome However, it becomes concerning
- some undue pressure undue pressure
- especially, in places especially in places
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, consistent endorsement of tourism taxes and supports it with relevant examples of resource pressure, pollution, and visitor controls. Its main limitation is that the deterrent mechanism and possible economic trade-offs are often asserted rather than examined, while some grammatical slips reduce polish. Prioritise explaining how tax levels would change behaviour and addressing the risk of harming tourism-dependent economies.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and relevant arguments are developed, but the claim that taxes will solve the problems is not examined critically enough.
Explain how taxes would reduce demand and consider whether they could unfairly affect travellers or tourism-dependent communities.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a clear paragraph sequence and generally effective progression, though some sentences carry too many loosely connected details.
Divide the long pollution paragraph into a clearer cause-and-solution sequence and remove repetitive references to taxes.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of tourism and environmental vocabulary is used effectively, despite occasional informal or imprecise expressions.
Replace phrases such as "work like magic," "quiet, non-offensive ways," and "saving ... the world" with measured academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted successfully overall, but recurring agreement, article, possessive, and clause-attachment errors reduce accuracy.
Check subject-verb agreement, plural reference, apostrophes, and the structure of long sentences before finalising the response.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Tourism today creates a variety of problems, such as pollution due to flights, traffic congestion and water pollution. Some people think that governments should impose extra taxes on flights and accommodation to restrict today’s tourism industry. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this proposal?
Your response
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