Parents often give children everything they ask for and do what they like. Is it good for children? What are the consequences when they grow up?
Sample Response
Indulging children has become a common parenting problem in many modern families. From my perspective, this practice may create some immediate adverse impacts on children and also results in long-term consequences for them.
In the short term, over-indulgence may cause some delay in the process of children learning important life skills. We can see this in a variety of age groups, ranging from toddlers to teenagers. For example, many over-caring parents spoon-feed their children until they are five or six, the developmental stage in which they should have already been able to eat independently. Also, there is a common practice in our country that parents assist their preadolescent children in taking a bath or a shower. As a result, children may fail to acquire basic personal hygiene skills at the right time.
In the long run, the consequences are even direr as over-indulged children grow up. If parents unconditionally satisfy all their children’s needs, they may inadvertently make their children over-reliant on other people. When these children enter adulthood, the inability to live independently can cause some difficulties for them to maintain their overall well-being; for instance, they may be unaware of what to do when they catch a fever. Furthermore, it is a norm that over-indulgent parents are lenient and do not require children to face the consequences of their misbehavior. In general, this deprives children of the opportunities to learn from mistakes, which may cause their problem-solving skills to be severely lacking in the future.
From the issues outlined above, one can conclude that over-indulgence may produce a number of unfavourable effects on children, including the delay in gaining crucial life skills such as self-feeding and the long-term consequence of lacking the ability to cope with problems as adults in the future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix verb agreement Original: results Suggested revision: result Why it matters: The coordinated verb must agree with the singular subject “practice” and remain parallel with “may create.”
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: impacts Suggested revision: effects Why it matters: “Adverse effects” is the more natural collocation for negative consequences.
- 3. Make phrasing concise Original: some delay in the process of children learning Suggested revision: a delay in children learning Why it matters: The shorter phrase expresses the same idea more directly.
- 4. Choose precise adjective Original: over-caring parents Suggested revision: overprotective parents Why it matters: “Overprotective” is the standard adjective for excessively protective parenting.
- 5. Use natural comparison Original: even direr Suggested revision: even more serious Why it matters: This comparison is more natural and appropriately formal in this context.
- 6. Improve word form Original: over-reliant on other people Suggested revision: overly reliant on other people Why it matters: “Overly reliant” is the more idiomatic adjective phrase here.
- 7. Fix complement pattern Original: some difficulties for them to maintain Suggested revision: difficulty maintaining Why it matters: “Difficulty” is normally followed directly by a gerund in this construction.
- 8. Use accurate collocation Original: catch Suggested revision: develop Why it matters: People typically “develop” or “have” a fever rather than “catch” one.
- 9. Remove unnecessary article Original: the opportunities to learn from mistakes Suggested revision: opportunities to learn from mistakes Why it matters: The general plural noun does not need the definite article here.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: For example, many over-caring parents spoon-feed their children until they are five or six, the developmental stage in which they should have already been able to eat independently. Suggested revision: For example, many overprotective parents spoon-feed their children until they are five or six, even though children at that developmental stage should already be able to eat independently. Why it matters: The rewrite makes the relationship between the age and the developmental expectation grammatically clear.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Furthermore, it is a norm that over-indulgent parents are lenient and do not require children to face the consequences of their misbehavior. Suggested revision: Furthermore, over-indulgent parents are commonly lenient and do not require their children to face the consequences of their misbehavior. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the unidiomatic construction “it is a norm that” while preserving the claim.
Suggested Rewrites
- results result
- impacts effects
- some delay in the process of children learning a delay in children learning
- over-caring parents overprotective parents
- even direr even more serious
- over-reliant on other people overly reliant on other people
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear progression from immediate effects to adult consequences, with specific examples that consistently support a firm negative view of over-indulgence. Its main limitation is occasional awkward or slightly imprecise phrasing, while the conclusion largely repeats earlier points. The highest-priority improvement is to refine collocations and make the final synthesis more concise and insightful.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers both questions directly and develops relevant short- and long-term consequences with specific support.
Add a slightly more explicit evaluation of why indulgence is harmful before moving into its consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader without obscuring relationships.
Make the conclusion advance the discussion through synthesis rather than closely restating the body points.
Lexical Resource
A wide and generally precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, though a few collocations sound unnatural or over-elaborate.
Replace phrases such as difficulties for them to maintain their well-being with more natural, economical combinations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are handled with strong control, and the few grammatical slips do not impede meaning.
Check parallel verb forms carefully, particularly when a modal governs more than one coordinated verb.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Parents often give children everything they ask for and do what they like. Is it good for children? What are the consequences when they grow up?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.