Far too little has been done to prevent animals and plants from dying out, although people have been aware of this problem for a long time. Why do people do so little about it? How can we prevent animals and plants from going extinct?
Sample Response
The issue of species extinction is a pressing global concern, and despite long-standing awareness, insufficient action has been taken to address it. This essay will explore the reasons behind the inadequate response to this problem and propose potential solutions to prevent animals and plants from going extinct.
One significant reason for the lack of action on species extinction is the conflict between conservation efforts and economic interests. Many industries, such as agriculture, logging, and mining, often prioritise profit over environmental protection. As a result, habitats are destroyed, leading to the loss of critical ecosystems that support diverse plant and animal species. Furthermore, political factors and a lack of strong legislative measures also contribute to the slow progress in conservation efforts. For example, the Amazon rainforest, home to a vast array of flora and fauna, faces ongoing threats from deforestation due to logging and agricultural expansion.
To combat species extinction effectively, a multifaceted approach is required. First, governments must enact and enforce robust environmental regulations to prevent habitat destruction and illegal wildlife trade. Additionally, public awareness campaigns and education about the importance of biodiversity conservation are essential in mobilising communities to actively participate in conservation efforts. Collaborative initiatives between governments, NGOs, and local communities can lead to the establishment of protected areas and conservation programmes. For example, the efforts of the WWF in partnership with local communities in the Chitwan National Park, Nepal, have led to the recovery of endangered species such as the greater one-horned rhinoceros.
The alarming decline of animal and plant species demands immediate and effective action. By addressing the economic interests that contribute to habitat destruction and implementing robust conservation measures, we can prevent further species extinction. Only through comprehensive and committed efforts can we secure the survival of animals and plants for future generations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a tighter phrase Original: pressing global concern Suggested revision: urgent global concern Why it matters: Urgent conveys the same seriousness more directly.
- 2. Specify public awareness Original: long-standing awareness Suggested revision: long-standing public awareness Why it matters: Adding public identifies whose awareness has failed to produce sufficient action.
- 3. Reduce passive wording Original: insufficient action has been taken Suggested revision: action has remained insufficient Why it matters: The replacement makes the contrast with long-standing awareness more direct.
- 4. Remove repeated wording Original: the inadequate response to this problem Suggested revision: this inadequate response Why it matters: The shorter phrase avoids repeating problem immediately after address it.
- 5. Use direct wording Original: potential solutions to prevent Suggested revision: ways to prevent Why it matters: Ways is more concise than the abstract phrase potential solutions.
- 6. Refine the preposition Original: lack of action on species extinction Suggested revision: limited action against species extinction Why it matters: Against states the target of the conservation action more naturally.
- 7. Condense the contrast Original: conflict between conservation efforts and economic interests Suggested revision: tension between conservation and economic interests Why it matters: The replacement preserves the contrast while reducing nominal phrasing.
- 8. Avoid double signalling Original: Furthermore, political factors and a lack of strong legislative measures also contribute Suggested revision: Political factors and weak legislation also contribute Why it matters: Furthermore and also duplicate the same additive relationship.
- 9. Use concise phrasing Original: the slow progress in conservation efforts Suggested revision: slow conservation progress Why it matters: The compact noun phrase expresses the same idea without an extra prepositional phrase.
- 10. Choose precise concision Original: a vast array of flora and fauna Suggested revision: diverse flora and fauna Why it matters: Diverse conveys the intended range more economically.
- 11. Link the cause example Suggested revision: Connect the Amazon example explicitly to the preceding logging and agricultural pressures before closing the cause paragraph. Why it matters: The example currently follows the political point, which weakens its link to the industries it illustrates.
- 12. Group solution types Suggested revision: Present regulatory measures first, then move together through public participation and collaborative conservation measures. Why it matters: Grouping government controls separately from community action would give the solution paragraph a clearer internal sequence.
Suggested Rewrites
- pressing global concern urgent global concern
- long-standing awareness long-standing public awareness
- insufficient action has been taken action has remained insufficient
- the inadequate response to this problem this inadequate response
- potential solutions to prevent ways to prevent
- lack of action on species extinction limited action against species extinction
Why this response received Band 8.5
The essay directly answers both questions through a well-developed account of economic and political barriers and a practical, multi-level set of conservation measures. Its examples, progression, and language are consistently precise; the main opportunity is only to sharpen the causal link between weak legislation and limited action rather than presenting them side by side. Preserve the focused structure while making that explanation slightly more explicit.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both causes and solutions are fully addressed with relevant explanation, concrete examples, and a clear emphasis on coordinated action.
Explain more explicitly how political incentives or enforcement failures allow economic interests to continue damaging habitats.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses seamlessly from the problem and causes to solutions and conclusion, with clear paragraph purposes and unobtrusive cohesion.
Keep the same structure while linking the legislative cause more directly to the regulatory solution for even tighter progression.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and natural throughout, particularly in the discussion of biodiversity, regulation, habitat destruction, and collaboration.
Maintain this precision while avoiding repeated use of ‘conservation efforts’ when a context-specific alternative would be equally clear.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used accurately and fluently, with only negligible local imperfections.
Continue varying clause openings while preserving the strong control shown in long explanatory and example sentences.
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