The media should include more stories which report good news. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
A large number of media channels these days are too focused on negative news, probably to increase viewership. However, many people often say that they prefer more good news being covered in the media. I personally agree with this Idea and will explain my reasoning in my essay below.
Bad news dominating the headlines is having an undesirable influence on society. Psychologically, this type of news, unless managed properly, may keep readers in a state of stress and lead them to experience trauma. Stories about ISIS slaughtering innocent citizens for example caused massive damage to people’s mental states and instilled fear into their minds. Also, frequent exposure to negative news can distort readers’ perception of reality. In Vietnam for example, it seems that members of the media do not focus on keeping the public informed of current events anymore, both locally and globally. Instead, they are trying to publish articles with the primary aim of attracting more viewers and therefore increasing profits. This, unfortunately, shapes readers’ outlook on society in a negative way.
On the other hand, including good news in the media may have positive effects on the general public. It helps restore our faith in humanity, which inspires moral courses of action to uphold ethical social values. Media stories of good news, as opposed to bad news, can also have a positive psychological implication. Such stories can uplift people to become more optimistic and generally improve both physical and mental health.
In conclusion, I believe recounting more stories of good news can positively affect the moral behavior of a group of people and therefore should receive more attention. Although negative news still has an important place in our life, its severity should be realized so that readers can fully reap all the benefits that the media has to offer.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use an active complement Original: more good news being covered in the media Suggested revision: the media to cover more good news Why it matters: Prefer takes a clear infinitive complement here rather than the awkward passive form.
- 2. Use lowercase Original: Idea Suggested revision: idea Why it matters: A common noun within a sentence should not be capitalized.
- 3. Remove redundant wording Original: in my essay below Suggested revision: below Why it matters: The reader already knows that the reasoning appears in the essay.
- 4. Set off the example Original: citizens for example caused Suggested revision: citizens, for example, caused Why it matters: The parenthetical marker for example requires commas on both sides.
- 5. Use a natural collocation Original: massive damage to people’s mental states Suggested revision: serious harm to people’s mental health Why it matters: Harm to mental health is more precise and idiomatic than damage to mental states.
- 6. Punctuate the example marker Original: In Vietnam for example Suggested revision: In Vietnam, for example, Why it matters: For example is parenthetical and should be enclosed by commas.
- 7. Place the time marker Original: do not focus on keeping the public informed of current events anymore Suggested revision: no longer focus on keeping the public informed about current events Why it matters: No longer is positioned more naturally before the main verb phrase.
- 8. Choose the intended noun Original: implication Suggested revision: impact Why it matters: Impact expresses an effect, whereas implication usually means a suggested consequence or meaning.
- 9. Fix the verb pattern Original: uplift people to become more optimistic Suggested revision: help people become more optimistic Why it matters: Uplift does not naturally take an object followed by an infinitive in this meaning.
- 10. Use the plural noun Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural possessive our normally refers to the lives of multiple people.
- 11. Clarify the reference Original: its severity should be realized Suggested revision: its harmful effects should be recognized Why it matters: News itself does not have severity, so the replacement identifies the effects being acknowledged.
- 12. Use formal emphasis Original: too Suggested revision: overly Why it matters: Overly focused conveys excessive attention in a more formal academic register.
Suggested Rewrites
- more good news being covered in the media the media to cover more good news
- Idea idea
- in my essay below below
- citizens for example caused citizens, for example, caused
- massive damage to people’s mental states serious harm to people’s mental health
- In Vietnam for example In Vietnam, for example,
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear stance and builds a logical case by explaining the harms of negative coverage before considering the benefits of good news. Its main limitation is uneven development: the second body paragraph and the final qualification remain fairly general, reducing the argument’s depth. The highest-priority improvement is to extend the positive-news case with a specific mechanism or example and clarify the appropriate role of negative reporting.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay directly answers the question with a consistent position and relevant reasons, although some supporting points remain general.
Develop the benefits of good-news reporting with a concrete example and explain more precisely how much negative news should remain.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices generally make the line of argument easy to follow.
Strengthen the connection between the qualified conclusion and the preceding discussion so the final nuance feels fully prepared.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and appropriate for media and psychological effects, with occasional strained or imprecise collocations.
Choose more natural expressions for ideas such as psychological effects, inspiring ethical behaviour, and recognising harmful consequences.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of sentence forms is used with generally strong control, and the few errors do not impede meaning.
Polish punctuation around inserted examples and check minor capitalization, article, and singular-plural choices.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The media should include more stories which report good news. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.