The media should include more stories which report good news. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
A large number of media channels these days are too focused on negative news, probably to increase viewership. However, many people often say that they prefer more good news being covered in the media. I personally agree with this idea and will explain my reasoning in my essay below.
Bad news dominating the headlines is having an undesirable influence on society. Psychologically, this type of news, unless managed properly, may keep readers in a state of stress and lead them to experience trauma. Stories about ISIS slaughtering innocent citizens for example caused massive damage to people’s mental states and instilled fear into their minds. Also, frequent exposure to negative news can distort readers’ perception of reality. In Vietnam for example, it seems that members of the media do not focus on keeping the public informed of current events anymore, both locally and globally. Instead, they are trying to publish articles with the primary aim of attracting more viewers and therefore increasing profits. This, unfortunately, shapes readers’ outlook on society in a negative way.
On the other hand, including good news in the media may have positive effects on the general public. It helps restore our faith in humanity, which inspires moral courses of action to uphold ethical social values. Media stories of good news, as opposed to bad news, can also have a positive psychological implication. Such stories can uplift people to become more optimistic and generally improve both physical and mental health.
In conclusion, I believe recounting more stories of good news can positively affect the moral behavior of a group of people and therefore should receive more attention. Although negative news still has an important place in our life, its severity should be realized so that readers can fully reap all the benefits that the media has to offer.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundancy Original: many people often say Suggested revision: many people say Why it matters: Many people and often overlap in expressing frequency here.
- 2. Fix prefer pattern Original: prefer more good news being covered Suggested revision: prefer the media to cover more good news Why it matters: Prefer plus object and infinitive states the desired action more clearly.
- 3. Set off example phrase Original: citizens for example caused Suggested revision: citizens, for example, caused Why it matters: The parenthetical phrase for example requires commas on both sides.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: massive damage to people’s mental states Suggested revision: serious harm to people’s mental well-being Why it matters: Harm to mental well-being is a more natural and precise collocation.
- 5. Fix verb complement Original: instilled fear into their minds Suggested revision: instilled fear in them Why it matters: Instill fear conventionally takes in rather than into their minds.
- 6. Add parenthetical commas Original: In Vietnam for example Suggested revision: In Vietnam, for example, Why it matters: For example is parenthetical and should be enclosed by commas.
- 7. Use formal negative Original: do not focus on keeping the public informed of current events anymore Suggested revision: no longer focus on keeping the public informed of current events Why it matters: No longer gives this negative time meaning more concisely in formal writing.
- 8. Use accurate noun Original: implication Suggested revision: effects Why it matters: Effects accurately describes the outcomes that the following sentence discusses.
- 9. Improve verb pattern Original: uplift Suggested revision: encourage Why it matters: Encourage fits naturally with the infinitive complement to become.
- 10. Use plural noun Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The shared experience of multiple people is conventionally expressed with the plural lives.
- 11. Clarify intended meaning Original: its severity should be realized Suggested revision: its harmful effects should be recognized Why it matters: Harmful effects clearly identifies what readers need to acknowledge.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: It helps restore our faith in humanity, which inspires moral courses of action to uphold ethical social values. Suggested revision: It can restore people’s faith in humanity and inspire actions that uphold ethical social values. Why it matters: The revision clarifies the coordination and removes the awkward phrase moral courses of action.
Suggested Rewrites
- many people often say many people say
- prefer more good news being covered prefer the media to cover more good news
- citizens for example caused citizens, for example, caused
- massive damage to people’s mental states serious harm to people’s mental well-being
- instilled fear into their minds instilled fear in them
- In Vietnam for example In Vietnam, for example,
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response maintains a clear position and develops it through a well-organised analysis of the social and psychological effects of news coverage, with relevant support throughout. Its main weakness is occasional imprecise or awkward phrasing, particularly in claims about moral behaviour and the severity of negative news; prioritise more exact collocations and sharper qualification of broad claims to make an already persuasive argument more precise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question directly, sustains a clear position, and develops relevant reasons with effective explanation and examples.
Qualify the broadest claims about public morality and health to make the reasoning even more exact and convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices support the argument without distracting from it.
Refine a few internal transitions so that the relationship between examples and their broader implications is even tighter.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide and generally precise, with effective topic-specific language alongside a few awkward collocations.
Replace imprecise phrases such as positive psychological implication and its severity should be realized with more natural, exact wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a wide range of complex structures with strong control, and minor errors rarely affect fluency or clarity.
Polish punctuation around inserted examples and check small agreement and reference details for consistently precise sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The media should include more stories which report good news. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.