Governments should make people responsible for looking after their own local environment. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Some would argue that climate change is such a pressing threat that governments should issue mandates to make individuals responsible for protecting the local environment. In my opinion, this might raise environmental awareness, however it is not advisable as other steps are more likely to produce results.
Those who suggest individuals should be compelled to accept responsibility are hoping for a united effort from the general public. The entire reason the Earth faces potential catastrophe is because of over-population and consumer habits. There would be a noticeable improvement if individuals were forced to recycle, clean up litter in their neighborhoods and reduce their carbon footprint by not using private vehicles, single-use plastics, and airplanes. There is the added argument that it is important to instill public duty in the mind of the average person. The government could fix these problems but that would only enable bad behavior from citizens in the same way that an overly permissive parent engenders a spoiled child.
However, the impact from the steps mentioned above would be marginal compared to the regulations governments can enact on various industries. Individuals might not follow the mandates from governments and they would be extremely difficult to enforce in populous nations that value individual liberty such as India, the United States, and Brazil. If governments instead passed laws related to both small and large businesses they could combat global and local issues. Companies that contribute to air and water pollution could be severely fined and the businesses that profit the most from mass consumerism could be forced to institute more environmentally friendly policies. These simple reforms would have tremendous impact.
In conclusion, although this policy would help individuals become more active in their communities, it is more important for governments to enact sweeping regulations on corporations. In this way, the most progress will be made.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix comma splice Original: awareness, however it Suggested revision: awareness; however, it Why it matters: A semicolon and comma correctly join the two independent clauses with 'however'.
- 2. Use precise policy term Original: steps Suggested revision: measures Why it matters: 'Measures' is more precise than 'steps' when referring to government action.
- 3. Use standard spelling Original: over-population Suggested revision: overpopulation Why it matters: The standard modern spelling is one unhyphenated word.
- 4. Make the list parallel Original: not using private vehicles, single-use plastics, and airplanes Suggested revision: avoiding private vehicles, single-use plastics, and air travel Why it matters: The revised items use parallel and natural expressions for the three forms of consumption.
- 5. Use natural expression Original: instill public duty in the mind of the average person Suggested revision: instill a sense of public duty in the average person Why it matters: 'A sense of public duty' is the natural collocation for developing civic responsibility.
- 6. Clarify the relationship Original: enable bad behavior from citizens Suggested revision: enable irresponsible behavior among citizens Why it matters: The revised noun phrase identifies the behaviour and its group more naturally.
- 7. Fix preposition Original: from Suggested revision: of Why it matters: The standard collocation for the effect produced by something is 'the impact of'.
- 8. Use correct collocation Original: enact Suggested revision: impose Why it matters: Regulations are naturally 'imposed on' industries rather than 'enacted on' them.
- 9. Use concise noun phrase Original: mandates from governments Suggested revision: government mandates Why it matters: The attributive noun produces a clearer and more concise expression.
- 10. Add clause comma Original: small and large businesses they could Suggested revision: small and large businesses, they could Why it matters: A comma is required after the introductory conditional clause.
- 11. Add an article Original: have tremendous impact Suggested revision: have a tremendous impact Why it matters: The singular count noun 'impact' needs the article 'a'.
- 12. Use natural superlative Original: most Suggested revision: greatest Why it matters: 'The greatest progress' is the natural superlative expression.
Suggested Rewrites
- awareness, however it awareness; however, it
- steps measures
- over-population overpopulation
- not using private vehicles, single-use plastics, and airplanes avoiding private vehicles, single-use plastics, and air travel
- instill public duty in the mind of the average person instill a sense of public duty in the average person
- enable bad behavior from citizens enable irresponsible behavior among citizens
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, nuanced position and develops both the rationale for personal responsibility and the stronger case for regulating industry with relevant examples. Its main limitation is a small number of overgeneralised claims and minor grammatical or collocational lapses. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify sweeping assertions and refine sentence punctuation so the argument is as precise as its organisation and vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is directly answered with a consistent position, and both the opposing case and preferred policy are well developed.
Qualify the broadest claims about the causes of environmental damage to make the reasoning more measured and exact.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses smoothly through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used clearly and efficiently.
Sharpen the transition from individual duties to corporate regulation by explicitly framing it as a comparison of likely impact.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, flexible, and largely precise, with only occasional slightly awkward collocations.
Refine the few unnatural combinations involving impact and responsibility to achieve consistently idiomatic expression.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is controlled well, and the few errors do not impede communication.
Review punctuation around conjunctive adverbs and introductory conditional clauses to eliminate the remaining lapses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Governments should make people responsible for looking after their own local environment. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.