The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The issue of reducing youth crime is one of the most pressing concerns for society, and one possible solution is to educate parents with parental skills. In my view, this is an excellent approach, and I strongly agree with it. This essay will discuss the reasons why educating parents with parental skills is the most suitable way to decrease youth crimes.
It is important to note that parents play a significant role in shaping their children's behaviour. If parents are equipped with the necessary skills, they can create a positive environment at home, which can help prevent their children from engaging in criminal activities. For example, parents who actively engage in open communication with their children and set clear boundaries and expectations can create a positive environment at home. By fostering a sense of trust, respect, and guidance, parents can greatly influence their children's behaviour and reduce the likelihood of their involvement in criminal activities. And this can be achieved through training parents about proper parenting skills.
Moreover, educating parents can prevent children from falling into peer pressure. When parents have a strong bond with their children, they can effectively communicate and influence their behaviour. For example, if a child's parent has taught them the importance of respecting authority and making sound decisions, the child will be less likely to engage in criminal activities when influenced by their peers. Moreover, providing training to new parents can provide them with the necessary tools to identify and address their children's behavioural problems early. When parents can recognize signs of delinquency, they can intervene and provide appropriate support. This can prevent their children from engaging in criminal activities in the future. For example, a study conducted by the National Institute of Justice found that early intervention by parents can reduce juvenile recidivism rates by up to 60%.
In conclusion, when parents have the necessary skills and knowledge, they can create a positive home environment, prevent their children from falling into peer pressure, and identify and address behavioural problems early. This can have a significant impact on reducing youth crimes and creating a safer society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix the collocation Original: educate parents with parental skills Suggested revision: teach parents effective parenting skills Why it matters: People are taught skills rather than educated with skills.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: decrease youth crimes Suggested revision: reduce youth crime Why it matters: Reduce youth crime is the more natural collocation for the general phenomenon.
- 3. Make wording direct Original: engage in open communication Suggested revision: communicate openly Why it matters: The replacement conveys the same action more directly and concisely.
- 4. Tighten the connection Original: And this Suggested revision: This Why it matters: Removing the initial coordinator creates a cleaner link to the preceding explanation.
- 5. Correct training collocation Original: training parents about proper parenting skills Suggested revision: training parents in effective parenting skills Why it matters: Train someone in a skill is the appropriate prepositional pattern.
- 6. Correct the idiom Original: prevent children from falling into peer pressure Suggested revision: prevent children from giving in to peer pressure Why it matters: People give in to peer pressure rather than fall into it.
- 7. Add verb complement Original: communicate and influence their behaviour Suggested revision: communicate with them and influence their behaviour Why it matters: Communicate requires an explicit complement here to show whom the parents communicate with.
- 8. Avoid repeated wording Original: providing training to new parents can provide them Suggested revision: training new parents can give them Why it matters: The replacement removes the distracting repetition of provide while preserving the meaning.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: This can prevent their children from engaging in criminal activities in the future. Suggested revision: Such early intervention can prevent their children from engaging in criminal activities in the future. Why it matters: Naming the preceding intervention gives the sentence a clearer link to its supporting point.
- 10. Remove repeated explanation Suggested revision: Combine the repeated point about a positive home environment with the explanation of trust, respect, and guidance so each sentence advances the reasoning. Why it matters: The paragraph states the same home-environment effect twice before developing how parents create it.
- 11. Separate the mechanisms Suggested revision: Mark the shift from resisting peer pressure to early identification, and keep each mechanism in its own compact claim-explanation-example sequence. Why it matters: The paragraph contains two distinct preventive mechanisms whose boundaries are currently easy to miss.
Suggested Rewrites
- educate parents with parental skills teach parents effective parenting skills
- decrease youth crimes reduce youth crime
- engage in open communication communicate openly
- And this This
- training parents about proper parenting skills training parents in effective parenting skills
- prevent children from falling into peer pressure prevent children from giving in to peer pressure
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response sustains a clear position and develops several relevant mechanisms through which parental training could reduce youth crime, supported by logically sequenced explanation and examples. Its main limitation is repetition of the same parental-influence claim and some awkward collocations, while the assertion that this is the best approach receives little comparison with alternatives. Strengthen the argument by briefly establishing why parental education is more effective than other plausible measures and vary repeated phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response clearly agrees and develops several relevant benefits, but it does not fully justify why parental education is the best solution.
Briefly compare parental training with another credible crime-reduction measure to substantiate the superlative claim in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through focused paragraphs, although repeated explanations and examples create some redundancy.
Give each body paragraph one distinct mechanism and remove repeated statements about a positive home environment and criminal activity.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for precise discussion, but repetition and awkward combinations such as falling into peer pressure limit flexibility.
Use natural collocations such as giving in to peer pressure and vary repeated references to parents and criminal activities.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence forms are varied and generally accurate, with only occasional minor lapses that do not impede communication.
Polish sentence openings and reference chains so additions are integrated smoothly rather than beginning with constructions such as And this.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.