Some people think that politicians have the greatest influence on the world. Other people, however, believe that scientists have the greatest influence. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Undeniably both politicians and scientists exert a powerful influence in our world. While politicians tend to lead a country by establishing better laws and treaties and governing the country, scientists tend to reshape the world by developing medicines, theories, and technologies to advance the human race. However, when it comes to the most significant influence of these two groups, I believe that politicians have the greatest influence on our world.
On the other hand, the proponents who support the superiority of scientists and inventors in shaping our world believe that scientists have been a forceful role to drive the world to progress and provide technical support for politicians to defend a country, which is one of the most important symbols to represent national strength. Technologies developed by scientists have been applied in the military, exploring outer space, developing life-saving medicines etc, which cannot be achieved only by the power of politicians.
On the other hand, the supporters of politicians' superior contribution say that no country would run properly without the influence of politicians who govern a country, enact policies and represent a country’s image and status on the international stage. Scientists may invent a theory, but the politicians ultimately decide to make that theory into practice and improve the condition of the people. Only when the top heads come to an agreement, will there be a possibility for a better world. For instance, scientists have invented nuclear power but it is ultimately the decision of politicians whether to use it to destroy human civilisation or use it in favour of generating power for our development.
In conclusion, scientists and political leaders have both important roles to play in shaping the world. But when it comes to the most significant influence of these two groups, politicians undeniably play the most vital role as they have the power to decide what to do with the work of the scientists.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the comma Original: Undeniably both Suggested revision: Undeniably, both Why it matters: A comma should follow the introductory sentence adverb.
- 2. Use concise wording Original: to advance the human race Suggested revision: to advance humanity Why it matters: Humanity expresses the same meaning more concisely in this context.
- 3. Correct the transition Original: On the other hand, the proponents Suggested revision: The proponents Why it matters: This paragraph presents the first view, so a contrast with a preceding view has not yet been established.
- 4. Use correct collocation Original: have been a forceful role Suggested revision: have played a powerful role Why it matters: People play a role; they cannot be a role.
- 5. Use natural phrasing Original: to drive the world to progress Suggested revision: in driving global progress Why it matters: The revised phrase uses the appropriate preposition and a natural collocation.
- 6. Clarify the relationship Original: technical support for politicians to defend a country Suggested revision: technical means for politicians to defend their countries Why it matters: Means better describes the practical resources scientists provide, and the plural possessive is clearer.
- 7. Make the list parallel Original: in the military, exploring outer space, developing life-saving medicines etc, Suggested revision: in military applications, space exploration, and life-saving medicine, Why it matters: The revision makes all list items parallel nouns and removes the vague etcetera ending.
- 8. Clarify the modifier Original: which cannot be achieved only by the power of politicians Suggested revision: achievements that political power alone cannot produce Why it matters: The revision gives the clause a clear noun to modify and places alone next to the limitation it expresses.
- 9. Signal the contrast Original: On the other hand, the supporters Suggested revision: By contrast, the supporters Why it matters: By contrast clearly distinguishes the politicians' case from the preceding scientists' case.
- 10. Match the question Original: politicians' superior contribution Suggested revision: politicians' greater influence Why it matters: Influence matches the comparison posed by the task more directly than contribution.
- 11. Choose precise wording Original: influence Suggested revision: work Why it matters: Work refers more precisely to the governing actions listed immediately afterward.
- 12. Clarify the list Original: enact policies and represent Suggested revision: enact policies, and represent Why it matters: A serial comma clearly separates the three coordinated actions.
Suggested Rewrites
- Undeniably both Undeniably, both
- to advance the human race to advance humanity
- On the other hand, the proponents The proponents
- have been a forceful role have played a powerful role
- to drive the world to progress in driving global progress
- technical support for politicians to defend a country technical means for politicians to defend their countries
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response addresses both perspectives, states a consistent opinion, and supports the political-influence argument with a relevant nuclear-power example. Its main limitation is uneven precision: the case for scientists is less clearly developed, repeated transition wording weakens cohesion, and several collocations are awkward. The highest priority is to sharpen the scientific argument and recast long sentences in more natural, controlled English.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the writer’s preference is clear, although the scientific perspective is less precisely explained than the political one.
Develop the scientists’ influence through a clearer causal example before directly comparing it with political decision-making.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure supports clear progression, but both body paragraphs begin with the same contrasting transition.
Use distinct topic sentences that identify each perspective directly and clarify the relationship between successive claims.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of topic vocabulary, but awkward collocations and imprecise expressions recur.
Replace phrases such as ‘have been a forceful role’ and ‘make that theory into practice’ with natural academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures convey the argument, though recurring problems with articles, parallelism, and clause control reduce accuracy.
Break overloaded sentences into controlled clauses and check agreement, articles, and parallel forms during revision.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that politicians have the greatest influence on the world. Other people, however, believe that scientists have the greatest influence. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.