Nowadays more and more young people hold important positions in the government. Some people think that it is a good thing while others argue that it is neither suitable nor desirable. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
People hold differing opinionsPeople have divided opinions when it comes to young people's employment in important government jobs. While some think that it is advantageous, others completely oppose it. The following paragraphs will discuss both viewpoints and argue in favour of the view that young people are not suitable for the majority of key positions in governmentmajority of the key positions in a government.
On the one hand, some people concur with the idea that young people should lead the country by serving in important government decision-making positionsimportant decision-making state positions. They argueopine that young people bring fresh perspectivesyoung minds are fresh, have innovative ideas and can bring about positive changes. As they understand the latest technology, have better global perspectivesviewpoints and are free from corruption, they are better suited to holdserve important government positions. For instance, the technology sector in my country has more young executives than their older counterparts. As a result, those young executivesthose young can make better decisions in terms of the use of technologytechnological use and automation in the public sectorautomation of public sectors.
By contrastOn the contrary, young people often lack the experience and diplomatic skillsperspectives to make important decisions in sensitive areas like foreign affairs, law-making and preparing the national budgetpresenting the budget for the country. This is why another group of people oppose their appointmentveto their involvement in key positions in a government. They say that experience is a vital factor in serving important state positions and young people are not suitable for such critical positions to run a country.
In my opinion, young people may be suitable for a few positions in a government, particularly in technology-related rolesfor instance, technology, but more experienced leaders should serve in government for the benefit of the countryserve a government for the betterment of the country. For instance, the position of the "Chief Justice" or the "President" demands extensive experience and knowledge, and not just innovation and fresh perspectives. Those positions are therefore unsuitableThose positions, thus, are not suitable for young minds without experience.
In conclusion, young people in a country should be encouraged to join a few government sectors like technology and science, but most vital administrative jobs, which require comprehensive expertise and diplomatic skills, should be filledserved by experienced leaders.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay discusses both perspectives clearly and maintains a nuanced opinion that younger officials suit technology-oriented roles while highly sensitive offices require greater experience. Its strongest qualities are logical organisation, relevant role-based examples, and controlled academic language; the main limitation is that a few supporting claims, such as young people being free from corruption, are overly broad. The best refinement is to qualify these generalisations and compare competence using more concrete evidence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are well developed and the qualified opinion remains consistent, although some claims are generalised and the technology-sector example is not clearly governmental.
Use a specific public-sector example and explain how experience or technological expertise affects the quality of an actual government decision.
Coherence and Cohesion
The five-paragraph structure creates clear progression from both views to a distinct opinion and conclusion, with effective referencing throughout.
Reduce minor repetition between the opposing-view paragraph, opinion paragraph, and conclusion by making each serve a more distinct function.
Lexical Resource
A broad vocabulary conveys government roles, innovation, diplomacy, and expertise precisely, with occasional awkward or overly formal choices.
Replace expressions such as 'those young' and 'veto their involvement' with natural alternatives such as 'younger officials' and 'oppose their appointment'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with strong control, though occasional article, collocation, and sentence-pattern lapses remain noticeable.
Refine constructions involving 'serve' and government positions, using forms such as 'serve in a role' or 'hold a position'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays more and more young people hold important positions in the government. Some people think that it is a good thing while others argue that it is neither suitable nor desirable. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.