Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Other believe that there are health benefits to living in cities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Some feel that the countryside is more conducive to a healthy lifestyle than the city. Though cities offer modern hospitals, I am in agreement with this sentiment as the countryside encourages greater activity.
Those who believe cities are healthier point out the access to superior medical care. In most cities, it is possible to find a variety of hospitals specializing in subdivisions of medicine and staffed with the best professionals. This is a result of urban populations, the demand for care, and the earning potential of cities. In contrast, in the countryside, there are fewer hospitals, with less modern facilities located further apart. An individual with a chronic health problem would naturally prefer to be in closer proximity to their primary healthcare provider. Similarly, in the event of an emergency such as a car accident or heart attack, being in the city guarantees a higher chance of receiving quality care.
Nonetheless, the situations above are exceptional and most individuals benefit more from an active life in the countryside. Cities residents are becoming increasingly sedentary and passive as the internet and services such as food delivery applications enable less activity. In the countryside, individuals are more likely to walk to school, spend time with friends outdoors, play a variety of sports, and work a more physically demanding job. All these small instances of activity combined over the span of days, months, and years contribute to better overall conditioning and health. This applies to physical and mental health since those outside of cities are less likely to be dependent on technology and suffer from concomitant anxiety disorders.
In conclusion, despite the modern medical facilities present in cities, the less passive living in the countryside makes it healthier generally. Individuals who prioritize health should strongly consider living outside of an urban area.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use direct phrasing Original: I am in agreement with this sentiment Suggested revision: I agree with this view Why it matters: The revision states the same position more directly and naturally.
- 2. Correct verb pattern Original: point out the access to Suggested revision: point to access to Why it matters: Point to, rather than point out, is used to identify supporting evidence.
- 3. Use standard term Original: subdivisions of medicine Suggested revision: medical specialties Why it matters: Medical specialties is the conventional term for distinct fields of medicine.
- 4. Choose precise adjective Original: the best professionals Suggested revision: highly qualified professionals Why it matters: This describes professional expertise more precisely than the absolute best.
- 5. Use countable quantifier Original: less Suggested revision: fewer Why it matters: Facilities is countable, so fewer is required.
- 6. Avoid false certainty Original: guarantees a higher chance Suggested revision: offers a greater chance Why it matters: Offers collocates naturally with chance and avoids the contradiction in guarantees a chance.
- 7. Use singular modifier Original: Cities Suggested revision: City Why it matters: The attributive noun city should be singular.
- 8. Clarify the effect Original: enable less activity Suggested revision: reduce the need for physical activity Why it matters: This wording states more precisely how these services encourage inactivity.
- 9. Improve parallel phrasing Original: work a more physically demanding job Suggested revision: do more physically demanding work Why it matters: This uncountable construction fits the parallel list more naturally.
- 10. Use accessible term Original: conditioning Suggested revision: fitness Why it matters: Fitness conveys the intended physical condition more directly in this context.
- 11. Use natural noun phrase Original: the less passive living in the countryside Suggested revision: the more active lifestyle in the countryside Why it matters: More active lifestyle is the natural positive expression of the intended comparison.
Suggested Rewrites
- I am in agreement with this sentiment I agree with this view
- point out the access to point to access to
- subdivisions of medicine medical specialties
- the best professionals highly qualified professionals
- less fewer
- guarantees a higher chance offers a greater chance
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its balanced, well-developed comparison of urban medical access with the countryside’s support for daily activity, accompanied by a clear and consistent opinion. Its main limitation is a small number of awkward or overgeneralised formulations that slightly reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify absolute claims and polish expressions such as cities residents and the less passive living.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response discusses both views fully, maintains a clear opinion, and supports each side with relevant explanation and examples.
Qualify absolute claims about emergency care and rural mental health so the argument remains persuasive without overgeneralisation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are sequenced clearly in purposeful paragraphs, with effective progression from the opposing view to the writer’s preferred position.
Use a slightly more explicit link between the final rural-health point and the overall comparison to sharpen the closing progression.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a wide and precise range of health-related vocabulary, with only a few less natural choices or combinations.
Replace less idiomatic phrases such as subdivisions of medicine with established terms such as medical specialties.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are varied and mostly accurate, although a few noun-phrase and comparative-form errors remain visible.
Check plural possessive forms and countable comparisons, revising phrases such as cities residents and less modern facilities.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Other believe that there are health benefits to living in cities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.