Some people believe that government spends too much money on space research while there are still a lot of problems on the earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
I am in total agreement with the statement. Regarding this issueApropos of the statement, very expensive space research programs are straining the government budget, diverting funds from more essential prioritiesjeopardising essential and more pertinent issues like education and healthcare which affect the majority of the populationimpact majority of the population especially in developing countries.
Many developing countriesMany developing nations, as well as third world countries, still have extremely poor literacy rates and a very high percentage& very high percentage of people lack access to even primary education. Very few people who can get basic skills like reading and writing are unemployable due to lack of proper vocational training. The government'sgovernment resources should be spent on something as basic and important as vocationalemployable education.
Basic health care is also one of the most important issues. Rapidly risingExponentially increasing medical costs are putting primary health care out of reachare making access to primary health care out of reach for many. MostMaximum countries still lack the basic medical infrastructure. Governments should prioritise medical research making health care accessible & far-reaching. Law-enforcement and justice departmentsCrime control, law and justice departments need more attention and budget and large numbers of peoplemass people are being directly affected by a lack of basic servicesaffected with the lacking of basic needs. When many people starve every day and many people do not receive proper treatmentlots of people are not getting proper treatment, space research seems a luxury we can’t afford. We need to focus on the very basic needs first and then when we have the capability to conduct space researchconduct the space research, only then should we continue itonly then we should continue this.
To conclude, though some think that space programs are essential for the advancement of science and technologytechnologies, a multitude of basic problems like education and health careeducation & medical & health care should be given paramount importancea paramount importance.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response takes an unambiguous position and supports it with relevant priorities, especially education, healthcare, and basic welfare in developing countries. Its main limitation is that several points are asserted broadly or expressed imprecisely, while the healthcare paragraph accumulates too many loosely connected concerns. The highest-priority improvement is to develop two central arguments through clear comparisons between the cost or benefit of space research and specific public needs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with relevant discussion of education, healthcare, and basic needs, although some claims remain broad or insufficiently substantiated.
Develop two main priorities with specific explanations of how reallocating space-research funding would improve public outcomes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from its position to education and healthcare, but the third paragraph combines several concerns and becomes loosely focused.
Give healthcare, crime, and basic welfare distinct roles, or retain only the strongest two arguments and develop them in focused paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A reasonably wide range includes precise items such as 'jeopardising', 'vocational training', and 'medical infrastructure', but inaccurate collocations occur regularly.
Replace unnatural phrases such as 'maximum countries', 'mass people', and 'the lacking of basic needs' with direct, idiomatic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses varied sentence structures, though recurring errors with articles, agreement, clause boundaries, and countable nouns reduce accuracy.
Proofread article and agreement patterns, especially 'a high percentage of people', 'the majority of the population', and 'paramount importance'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that government spends too much money on space research while there are still a lot of problems on the earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.