Prison is the common way most countries try to solve the problem of crime. However, a more practical solution is to provide the public with a better education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Imprisonment has been seen as the most practical solution to solve the problem of crime in many nations. Some think a high literacy rate can be an alternative solution by imparting education most beneficially. I firmly believe that education can be a key to reducing crime in every part of the world.
To begin with, education always increases human awareness about the potential changes to everything and anything. It is important to bear in mind that when people are educated, their sensibility increases along with their sensitivity to society. Most youth gain some qualities like empathy, kindness, and moral education at school. Therefore, they are respectful and considerate towards others’ rights and opinions without creating unnecessary rifts. Furthermore, it can be seen clearly that juvenile criminal behaviour has risen up in an uneducated society. For instance, many African countries have been called out for significant numbers of crimes that adolescents commit. Because of this reason, school and education are the paramount prospects in order to reduce the crime rate. Children should be encouraged to follow the conformity with the public by learning social norms. In this way, they might stay away from the negativity, which can be dangerous to the whole community.
Secondly, experts have a broad consensus that the main reasons behind the higher crime ratio are poverty and the shortage of fundamental human rights. By giving qualified education to the public, they are able to have a secured job in their future. For example, Norway’s population has the highest literacy rate, with a high percentage of highly educated societies; the crime rate has stayed the lowest in the country compared to other nations. Moreover, countries can increase their prosperity by teaching their citizens, and the prosperity will eliminate the reason behind crimes in the long run. Consequently, equal fundamental rights, the key to solving the crime problem, can be supplied to everyone with a comprehensive education.
To summarize, although prison has been viewed as the most common solution in order to decrease the number of crimes in countries, education is the viable alternative solution to solve problems permanently. It has the potential to eliminate crime permanently. It might increase the country’s affluence by supplying job opportunities and offering the fundamental rights people need.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove repeated meaning Original: practical solution to solve Suggested revision: practical solution to Why it matters: Solution already contains the meaning of solve, so the verb is redundant.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: increases human awareness about Suggested revision: increases people's awareness of Why it matters: Awareness of is the standard collocation, and people's is more natural than human here.
- 3. Clarify vague wording Original: potential changes to everything and anything Suggested revision: potential changes around them Why it matters: The revision preserves the idea while removing the vague pair everything and anything.
- 4. Use countable people noun Original: Most youth Suggested revision: Most young people Why it matters: Young people is the natural countable expression for this general group.
- 5. Use natural verb Original: gain some qualities Suggested revision: develop qualities Why it matters: People develop rather than gain personal qualities.
- 6. Name a quality Original: moral education Suggested revision: a sense of morality Why it matters: The list requires a personal quality rather than a type of education.
- 7. Fix tense and phrasing Original: has risen up Suggested revision: is higher Why it matters: The comparison between societies requires a present-state form rather than a change over time.
- 8. Use comparative plural Original: an uneducated society Suggested revision: less educated societies Why it matters: The plural comparative form fits the general cross-society claim.
- 9. Use formal reporting verb Original: called out for Suggested revision: reported to have Why it matters: Called out for is informal and implies criticism rather than neutral reporting.
- 10. Correct crime collocation Original: significant numbers of crimes Suggested revision: high levels of crime Why it matters: High levels of crime is the natural collocation for a general crime measure.
- 11. Fix linking phrase Original: Because of this reason Suggested revision: For this reason Why it matters: For this reason is the correct cohesive expression for the stated consequence.
- 12. Correct noun choice Original: paramount prospects Suggested revision: key priorities Why it matters: Prospects refers to possibilities, while priorities fits the proposed importance of schooling.
Suggested Rewrites
- practical solution to solve practical solution to
- increases human awareness about increases people's awareness of
- potential changes to everything and anything potential changes around them
- Most youth Most young people
- gain some qualities develop qualities
- moral education a sense of morality
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear position and develops two relevant lines of argument, connecting education with social awareness and with employment and prosperity. Its main limitation is imprecise reasoning and word choice: several broad claims and awkward collocations weaken otherwise coherent support. The highest-priority improvement is to use more carefully qualified examples and precise vocabulary when explaining how education would reduce specific causes of crime.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and supported by two developed reasons, although some examples and causal claims are broad or insufficiently substantiated.
Qualify the claims about countries and show a more precise causal chain from education to reduced criminal behaviour.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised and progresses through two distinct arguments, though some linking expressions are repetitive or cumbersome.
Use fewer formulaic connectors and strengthen the logical transition between each claim, explanation, and example.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a good vocabulary range, but frequent awkward collocations and imprecise choices reduce naturalness and accuracy.
Prefer established phrases such as crime rate, quality education, secure employment, and conform to social norms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used with generally good control, while occasional article, agreement, and preposition errors remain.
Review noun phrases and prepositions in complex sentences to improve accuracy without reducing structural variety.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Prison is the common way most countries try to solve the problem of crime. However, a more practical solution is to provide the public with a better education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.