Some people think eating meat is bad for health. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many individuals eat less meat compared to previous generations as there is clear evidence it may not be nutritious. In my opinion, although meat is often eaten in unhealthy contexts, it is generally healthy if prepared correctly.
Those who argue that meat is inherently unhealthy point out modern insights into nutrition. Many meats, most infamously red meats such as pork and beef, contain fats that can build up and contribute to the leading cause of death globally: cardiovascular disease. Added to this is the fact that meaty dishes are often saturated with heavy carbohydrates, salt, sugar, and other unhealthy fats like butter. One standout example of this would be the cheeseburger, one of the most eaten meal items globally. Not only is the red meat bad for heart health but the buns, cheese, and potentially other toppings only hinder short and long-term nutritional goals.
However, meat on its own is crucial due to high protein levels. Many vegetarians and vegans would argue that protein can be sourced from a variety of nutritious and vitamin-dense nuts and vegetables. Though there is some truth in this, the levels of protein in other foods are low and there are certain essential compounds that can only be found in meat. The best evidence for this comes not only from nutritional studies but also human prehistory. For thousands of years, people have been subsisting on diets high in meat that have greatly contributed to the flourishing of the human race generally and civilization more specifically. Consumed without unhealthy ingredients, there is simply no greater source of energy for the average person.
In conclusion, though many meat dishes are high in fat, salt, sugar, and carbohydrates, meat itself is an excellent and healthy source of protein that has historically been a part of the human diet. Individuals in this case as in all others should therefore pursue a more moderate approach.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify the context Original: contexts Suggested revision: ways Why it matters: This wording more directly describes how preparation or serving choices can make meat unhealthy.
- 2. Use precise evidence Original: modern insights into nutrition Suggested revision: current nutritional research Why it matters: The revision identifies the kind of evidence more precisely and naturally.
- 3. Use neutral emphasis Original: infamously Suggested revision: notably Why it matters: 'Notably' highlights the examples without the overly emotive connotation of 'infamously'.
- 4. Clarify the process Original: fats that can build up Suggested revision: fats that can accumulate in the body Why it matters: The revision makes the location and meaning of 'build up' explicit.
- 5. Correct collocation Original: heavy Suggested revision: refined Why it matters: 'Heavy carbohydrates' is not a natural nutritional collocation.
- 6. Use natural phrasing Original: most eaten meal items Suggested revision: most widely consumed foods Why it matters: The revision is more idiomatic and concise in formal writing.
- 7. Remove article Original: the red meat Suggested revision: red meat Why it matters: Red meat is being discussed generally here, so the definite article is unnecessary.
- 8. State value precisely Original: crucial due to high protein levels Suggested revision: nutritionally valuable because of its high protein content Why it matters: The revision specifies the kind of importance and uses the natural phrase 'protein content'.
- 9. Complete parallel structure Original: but also human prehistory Suggested revision: but also from human prehistory Why it matters: The second element needs 'from' to remain parallel with 'from nutritional studies'.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Many individuals eat less meat compared to previous generations as there is clear evidence it may not be nutritious. Suggested revision: Many individuals eat less meat than people in previous generations did because there is clear evidence that meat may not be nutritious. Why it matters: The original compares individuals with generations and leaves the pronoun 'it' without a sufficiently clear reference.
- 11. Strengthen the transition Suggested revision: Clarify how the shift from modern protein alternatives to evidence from human prehistory supports the same line of reasoning. Why it matters: The historical evidence currently follows the discussion of alternative protein sources without a clear connective step.
Suggested Rewrites
- contexts ways
- modern insights into nutrition current nutritional research
- infamously notably
- fats that can build up fats that can accumulate in the body
- heavy refined
- most eaten meal items most widely consumed foods
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay presents a clear, nuanced position and develops both the health concerns and the nutritional case for meat in a fluent, well-controlled argument. Its main limitation is the reliance on broad or absolute claims about protein, essential compounds, and energy that are not adequately qualified. The most valuable improvement would be to make the evidence more precise and temper sweeping assertions while preserving the strong analytical structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the opinion question and develops a clear qualified position, though some key supporting claims are overstated or weakly evidenced.
Use more defensible nutritional reasoning and qualify absolute claims so the support fully sustains the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress smoothly through a clear introduction, contrasting body paragraphs, and a consistent conclusion, with cohesive devices used naturally.
Make the logical bridge from meat’s nutritional value to its overall healthiness even more explicit.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys complex ideas effectively, with only occasional awkward choices such as “most eaten meal items.”
Refine the few unnatural collocations and avoid absolute wording where a more measured term would be more accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence forms is handled accurately and flexibly, with only minor lapses that do not impede meaning.
Polish article use and parallel phrasing in the few dense sentences to achieve still greater precision.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think eating meat is bad for health. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.