Poor infrastructure hinders under-developed countries from progressing and modernising. Some people think that this should be the first problem tackled by foreign aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
In many underdeveloped nations, poor infrastructure is a major barrier to economic growth and societal progress. Roads, power supplies, water systems, and digital connectivity are either outdated or insufficient, making everyday life and commercial activity highly challenging. I fully agree that foreign aid should prioritise addressing infrastructure problems, as doing so lays the groundwork for sustainable development and unlocks long-term progress.
Firstly, without adequate infrastructure, even the most basic economic activities are hindered. Poor roads and transportation networks prevent farmers from accessing markets, while unreliable electricity disrupts businesses and schools. This is a vicious cycle for many poor countries that suffer tremendously due to the lack of sufficient infrastructure. Foreign aid that targets these foundational systems enables commerce to flourish and allows essential services to function efficiently. For instance, international funding for road construction in Ethiopia has significantly improved access to markets and reduced travel time for rural communities. It highlights the necessity of using foreign aid to prioritise infrastructural development.
Secondly, investing in infrastructure creates a multiplier effect, generating employment and encouraging both domestic and foreign investment. When countries have stable electricity, efficient transport systems, and reliable communication networks, they become more attractive to investors. This, in turn, accelerates industrial growth and provides long-term economic benefits. A good example is Vietnam, where foreign assistance in modernising ports and transport hubs led to a surge in manufacturing exports and job creation.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that tackling infrastructure problems should be the primary focus of foreign aid. Improved infrastructure not only addresses immediate needs but also fosters self-reliance, economic resilience, and long-term development for underdeveloped nations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise description Original: highly challenging Suggested revision: very difficult Why it matters: The replacement is simpler and more direct without changing the degree of difficulty.
- 2. Use precise causal verb Original: unlocks Suggested revision: enables Why it matters: “Enables” states the causal relationship more directly than the metaphorical “unlocks.”
- 3. Use concise sequence marker Original: Firstly Suggested revision: First Why it matters: “First” is the more concise sequencing form in contemporary prose.
- 4. Name systems precisely Original: these foundational systems Suggested revision: these core infrastructure systems Why it matters: The replacement identifies exactly which foundational systems are meant.
- 5. Clarify pronoun reference Original: It highlights Suggested revision: This example highlights Why it matters: The pronoun “it” has no clear singular antecedent in the previous sentence.
- 6. Use concise policy phrase Original: necessity of using foreign aid to prioritise infrastructural development Suggested revision: value of making infrastructure a foreign-aid priority Why it matters: The replacement states the policy implication more directly and avoids stacked abstract nouns.
- 7. Use supply collocation Original: stable electricity Suggested revision: reliable electricity supplies Why it matters: Electricity supplies are described as reliable rather than stable in this context.
- 8. Integrate example directly Original: A good example is Vietnam Suggested revision: Vietnam provides a clear example Why it matters: The revision introduces the country as evidence more directly.
- 9. Use parallel economic nouns Original: a surge in manufacturing exports and job creation Suggested revision: growth in manufacturing exports and employment Why it matters: The replacement creates a parallel pair of measurable economic outcomes.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: This is a vicious cycle for many poor countries that suffer tremendously due to the lack of sufficient infrastructure. Suggested revision: Inadequate infrastructure creates a serious obstacle for many low-income countries. Why it matters: The rewrite replaces the inaccurate “cycle” metaphor and removes redundant, emotive wording.
Suggested Rewrites
- highly challenging very difficult
- unlocks enables
- Firstly First
- these foundational systems these core infrastructure systems
- It highlights This example highlights
- necessity of using foreign aid to prioritise infrastructural development value of making infrastructure a foreign-aid priority
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response presents a clear, well-developed case for making infrastructure the first foreign-aid priority, with strong country examples linking roads and ports to market access, investment, exports, and jobs. Its main limitation is that the priority claim is asserted without briefly weighing infrastructure against urgent health or education needs. Prioritise a concise comparison showing why infrastructure enables those other services and therefore deserves initial attention.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is fully developed through two distinct economic mechanisms and relevant country examples.
Briefly compare infrastructure with urgent health or education aid to justify more explicitly why it should come first.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically sequenced in focused paragraphs, with smooth progression from immediate economic access to multiplier effects.
Strengthen the transition between the two body arguments by showing how basic access creates the conditions for later investment.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and consistently appropriate, with effective development and infrastructure terminology.
Vary repeated references to 'infrastructure' and 'long-term' where an unambiguous substitute would improve style.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only very minor lapses.
Maintain this level of control while trimming occasional emphatic phrasing for greater concision.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Poor infrastructure hinders under-developed countries from progressing and modernising. Some people think that this should be the first problem tackled by foreign aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.