Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
The question of whether families enrolling their children in private schools should be exempted from taxes supporting the state education system is a subject of ongoing debate. While some argue that it is unfair for them to contribute to a system they do not use, I firmly believe that public education benefits society as a whole, and families with children in private schools should not be exempted from state education taxes.
To commence, public education provides substantial societal benefits, demanding contributions from all, irrespective of their utilization of the system. Public education is perceived as a societal equalizer, offering a level playing field for students, regardless of their socioeconomic backgrounds. Thus, affluent families choosing private education should bear the responsibility of supporting state-run education, ensuring accessibility and affordability for those less privileged. The notion that every eligible taxpayer should contribute to the maintenance of public education stems from the belief that education is a cornerstone of societal development, and its benefits extend beyond individual use.
Furthermore, private schools inherently rely on public services provided by the state. They leverage national curriculum standards, and support from the education ministry, and use essential utilities, infrastructure, and amenities funded by taxpayers. Consequently, parents opting for private institutions should not be exempted from their duty to contribute to state education taxes, as they indirectly benefit from the publicly funded resources and services that facilitate the functioning of private schools.
In conclusion, while some advocate for tax exemptions for families with children in private schools, I contend that public education is a collective societal benefit, necessitating contributions from all members. The sustainability and inclusivity of public education depend on a shared commitment to its funding, ensuring equitable access for students from diverse socio-economic backgrounds.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use idiomatic phrasing Original: exempted from taxes supporting the state education system Suggested revision: exempt from taxes that support the state education system Why it matters: Exempt from is the more concise idiomatic form, and the relative clause clarifies what the taxes support.
- 2. Use direct phrasing Original: is perceived as a societal equalizer Suggested revision: acts as a social equalizer Why it matters: The direct verb acts avoids an unnecessary passive construction and keeps the meaning clear.
- 3. Reduce wordiness Original: bear the responsibility of supporting Suggested revision: help support Why it matters: Help support conveys the same responsibility more directly.
- 4. Name the group clearly Original: those less privileged Suggested revision: less privileged students Why it matters: Naming students removes ambiguity about who benefits from accessibility and affordability.
- 5. Remove redundant emphasis Original: inherently rely Suggested revision: rely Why it matters: Rely already expresses dependence, so inherently adds unnecessary emphasis here.
- 6. Correct verb form Original: exempted Suggested revision: exempt Why it matters: The adjective exempt is the standard form after should not be in this construction.
- 7. Use concise wording Original: facilitate the functioning of private schools Suggested revision: support the operation of private schools Why it matters: Support the operation conveys the same idea more concisely and naturally.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: To commence, public education provides substantial societal benefits, demanding contributions from all, irrespective of their utilization of the system. Suggested revision: To begin with, public education provides substantial societal benefits and therefore merits contributions from everyone, regardless of whether they use the system. Why it matters: The rewrite makes the causal link explicit and removes the ambiguous participial phrase demanding contributions from all.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: The notion that every eligible taxpayer should contribute to the maintenance of public education stems from the belief that education is a cornerstone of societal development, and its benefits extend beyond individual use. Suggested revision: Every eligible taxpayer should help fund public education because it is central to societal development and benefits more than its direct users. Why it matters: This version preserves the claim while reducing abstract and repetitive phrasing.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: They leverage national curriculum standards, and support from the education ministry, and use essential utilities, infrastructure, and amenities funded by taxpayers. Suggested revision: They rely on national curriculum standards and education-ministry support, and they use essential utilities, infrastructure and amenities funded by taxpayers. Why it matters: The rewrite restores parallel coordination and removes the misplaced commas around the linked objects.
Suggested Rewrites
- exempted from taxes supporting the state education system exempt from taxes that support the state education system
- is perceived as a societal equalizer acts as a social equalizer
- bear the responsibility of supporting help support
- those less privileged less privileged students
- inherently rely rely
- exempted exempt
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its firm, consistent position and logically developed case that public education creates shared benefits and supports the wider educational system. The main limitation is that some claims, especially about private schools relying on public provision, remain asserted rather than illustrated; the highest-priority improvement is to add a specific example or qualification while slightly reducing formal, abstract phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay directly answers the question, maintains a clear position, and develops two relevant reasons in substantial detail.
Strengthen the second reason with a specific example showing how private education benefits from publicly funded systems.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices and referencing used effectively.
Make the transition between social benefit and institutional reliance more explicitly cumulative to sharpen the overall argument.
Lexical Resource
A wide and generally precise academic vocabulary conveys abstract arguments effectively, with only occasional awkward or overly formal choices.
Prefer concise natural wording where phrases such as irrespective of their utilization make the argument sound unnecessarily abstract.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with strong control, and the few awkward constructions do not impede communication.
Refine parallel structure in long coordinated sentences, particularly when listing what private schools use or receive.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.